The online diary of a gay courtesan.

Skin Care

Without exception, for over 12 years everyone (from Fuller at Sean Cody to Benjamin Bradley and everyone else I have worked with on set, on production teams, and in clubs) comments that I do not look my age (even to the point at times of angrily accusing me of lying). As of 2010 I am going to be 34 years old, but most people guess 26-28 when I have my beard and 22-25 without it. If you are looking to get into adult entertainment as a long term career, you will need to know how to extend your “shelf life” as long as possible. See Fitness & Diet, as they are essential parts of this equation of “Eternal Youth.” Oh, it also helps not to sing along to the words to 80’s songs if you want to maintain the illusion of being 24 forever. :-)

It is true that there is a huge audience for mature and/or rugged men; however, if you do not have the build that is normally required to go along with a more seasoned aesthetic, then you will do better (in most cases) to appear youthful. I am going to tell you what I have done, and it is up to you whether or not you agree.

THE ONE-SENTENCE “RULE” FOR ANTI-AGING:

Avoid excess exposure to the four “S”s at all costs: Sun, Soap, Shaving, and Smoking.

If you want more details than that, then continue below:

SUN

  • Start moisturizing your face with an SPF15 cream (if it contains Retinol as well, so much the better!). You should do this when you are in your late teens or early twenties, so that you won’t “need” to when you are in your late twenties and early thirties. I started when I was 20 years old. I suggest ROC for eye cream and Aveda products appropriate to your skin type for you face/neck (including the Aveda cactus eye cream, if you don’t want to mix brands). In your thirties transition into the extra strength formulas for people in their forties and over (you won’t “need” to, and THAT is the point).
  • Apply the moisturizer to your face/eyes before going outside during any daylight hours, and use SPF on any bare skin. Clothing generally acts as SPF15, but you can still burn through your clothes. If you shower before bed, remember to go through your regimen before sleeping, so that the moisturizers work all night while you rest. Note: Sun Bathing, whether inside or outside is a definite NO-NO!! Go with spray on, or learn to appreciate your creamy natural color as it is. Period!
  • Use a body moisturizer AFTER EVERY BATH/SHOWER, and make certain your products contain no petroleum products (e.g. petrolatum) or mineral oil. Use an organic product if possible (one that contains shae and coco butter is awesome). I suggest Habitat Naturals, which I have found only at RiteAid stores. If your skin breaks out easily, determine your skin type and find suitable products to achieve a balance of moisture and clarity.
  • Wear sunglasses outside at all hours of daylight, especially when driving/walking/working. A hat would be great too, if you don’t have to keep your hair coiffed. The sunglasses will protect the skin around your eyes, protect the eyes themselves (which discolor as you age from exposure to light), and reduce squinting (and thus crows’ feet).
  • Moisturize EVERYWHERE. Remember your hands/palms/fingers/knuckles, feet/heels, chest, abdomen, back, knees (front and back!), elbows, armpits, cock/dick head, balls, taint, asshole, butt, and EARS. Doing only your face/neck, arms, and legs will not protect your skin from subtle, tell-tale signs of aging. Don’t tell me you’re 25 when you have the elbows of a 40-year-old! Moisturizing everywhere keeps the skin from sagging, discoloring, or drying out!! Use pumice stones on your feet! No cracked heels! Gross!! Use gloves when you workout to minimize callouses on your palms.

SOAP

Avoid bar soap at all costs. It doesn’t matter how gentle it claims to be. Do not use it. Not even Aveda. Don’t do it.

  • Hands – Use anti-microbial hand gels, liquid soap, or plant-based foams. If you wash dishes by hand, use a gentle product and moisturize afterward.
  • Face – Use gentle cleansing foams or gels. I suggest Aveda’s Outer Peace line of anti-acne products, which include facial wipes, foam cleanser, and lotions. I use the pads for touch ups throughout the day, and I use the foam cleanser on my face/neck/upper body in the shower.
  • Body – Use gel or liquid products that do not contain alcohol and petroleum products. I prefer Aveda’s Rosemany/Mint shower gel for general washing, and I use Neutrogena’s Body Clean Body Wash (with or without abrasion beads) as needed for treating break outs on the arms/chest/neck/back. Use a poof to get the most suds possible. The foamed bubbles work better to clean your skin and rinse off easier, rather than simply smearing/wiping the gel on your body with your hands.
  • Hair – Depending on your hair type, Aveda makes very clean, natural products. I use their Rosemary/Mint shampoo and conditioner. I also LOVE the Tea Tree line by Paul Mitchell. Avalon Organics is also lovely for hair and body wash.

SHAVING

The earlier and more frequently your shave your face as a youth the more you will need to do so when you get older. In an attempt to create George Michael stubble prematurely, I would shave my face everyday in high school, even though I didn’t get much facial hair until I was 23 or so. But once I did get facial hair it grew in course and fast. If I shave at noon I already need to do so again a 2 pm. Shave only when you actually need to while you are young. My beard undermines my illusion quicker than anything else (except for knowing the words to those songs from the 80’s).

  • Face – There are two schools of thought on the direction of the stroke, with or against the grain. With is comfortable but leaves a shadow. Against is a closer shave, but can aggravate breakouts. I personally cannot do against the grain. My face looks like ground up meat a day later from all the in-grown hairs. You have to figure this out for yourself, but I suggest going with the direction of your hair, which means you will have to shave from different angles (especially on the whorled hair patterns most men get on the delicate skin to the side of the Adam’s apple). Use gentle pressure with sharp blades. Using dull blades and/or too much pressure aggravates and ages the skin over time. Use hot water, a pre-shaving prep gel to soften the hair and skin, and adequate lubrication for the shave itself. Splash with something cool to close the pores, but avoid after shaves that contain alcohol. Regular water is usually fine in and of itself after the hot water.
  • Body/Pits – If you shave your body hair it will generally come back thicker, courser, and often darker. This will make you look older. For manscaping purposes, especially while you are young, avoid using a razor on body hair. Use a beard clipper with a shaving guard. In this way you can manicure to different uniform lengths to fit your preference without cutting the hair follicles and risking breakouts or mutant regrowth insanity.
  • Pubes – I suggest using the beard trimmer at a medium or medium-long setting on your pubic bush and short or medium-short at the base of your cock. You probably do not want to scalp anything, so use the guard at a medium length on your box and happy trail, but use the naked trimmer to clean up the edges around the box and on your inner thighs. Blend! Make it look as natural as you can. For your taint, use the beard trimmer without the guard. For your balls, use a new razor with LOTS of lubrication and LIGHT pressure. Hold the scrotum taut to avoid skips and nicks. The pricklies come from aggravating the hair follicles, so be gentle and use as few swipes as possible. Use the beard trimmer without the guard on your butt cheeks, lower back, and butt crack, if “needed.” Use the razor very carefully around your asshole, if you choose to go “beardless.”
  • All this together works to create a youthful appearance, which is comprised of some body hair, but lightly scattered, and smooth velvety skin on the pink parts, while retaining some fluff/fuzz on the fleshier bits. That is the psychology of body hair: Youth is the beginning of hair, not the absence of it (which would be pre-pubescence), nor the full growth of it (which would be maturity).

SMOKING

  • Don’t do it.
  • Don’t work in places where it is allowed, as much as possible.
  • Don’t allow it inside your living space.
  • Quit, if you have started. Find a way.
  • Stop arguing and making excuses. You know I’m right.