Devon Hunter

One of the questions I received boils down to this: Are dancers who travel or work together truly friends, or does competition prevent that?

That depends on a great number of issues. Scotty and I are definitely truly friends, regardless of the money we do or don’t make around each other. We help each other in many ways, other than splitting the cost of travel. We collaborate in various ways, talk to each other about problems or concerns, and look out for each other in general. Two other guys who travel together are Will and Johnny, two beautiful Latino dancers from Miami. They really are friends.

Is it always like that? No. Probably not. I’m sure that there are people who travel together out of convenience or to lower indiviudal costs. I know of two dancers from Charlotte who no longer travel together, because one was always creating problems and not covering his share of the gas/hotel. They had no other connection, so the other dancer now refuses to travel with the mooch. It’s the same as any other working scenario: There are people you bond with, and people you tolerate (and people you avoid as well).

As for behind the scenes, I have already blogged about the competition that exists there. But that entry deals with dancers in general, not travel companions. I would say that people who consistently go place to place together over a long term will develop some kind of tolerance for each other (at a minimum), and that others get quite close. But relationships are always evolving. A perceived or actual insult, attack, theft, or any other number of bad experiences can sour a travelling duo’s connection just as quickly as anyone else’s.

My suggestion is to know the person you travel with. This person, if you share a room, will have access to your belongings. You wouldn’t want to get hijacked in your own car. You also need to know that the cash you’ll be keeping on you until you can take it to the bank will be vulnerable. I didn’t invite Scotty to travel with me until we’d danced together consistently for several months. After staying with him several times, eating with him, getting to know more about him as a person, and sharing info about myself with him (to see how he would treat it), I finally knew I could take him on the road with me. I have never had even a moment’s cause to regret that (note: Remind me, please someone, to one day tell you about the first trip we took together down to Macon, GA… HAHAHAHAHA!). But I got to know him first. We became friends first.

So, simple answer: No, not all who travel together are friends, but it’d be a good idea for them to at least respect each other.

I was asked in a private email by someone not yet in exotic dancing about ideas for keeping money and belongings safe while at work. Here are some possibilities for you to consider. You will have to adjust them to work for your personal situation.

1. Lockers - This is the obvious choice. The pro is that you can keep your valuables and personal effects locked securely. The cons are that they may be either too big or too small for your needs, or if they get damaged, you lose the key, or forget your combo there’s no easy way to retrieve your belongings. Also, if you travel, you will have to remember to remove everything in your locker into a duffle before you leave work. This situation is best if you dance on an on-going basis in the same venue. Don’t count on these: Most venues don’t supply them.
2. Duffle/Gym bag - Many brands of bags have doubled zippers with small holes in the ends of the zipper tabs. You could get extra small padlocks. The pros are that you can carry your belongings from venue to venue around with you prepacked, and you can fill your bag with everything you need while remaining mobile. The cons are that someone else can walk off with the bag and simply cut it open later. Also you can over-pack and end up with a very burdensome load. This is best when there aren’t lockers and/or when you are visiting a club without plans to stay for more than a night or two.
3. Envelopes/Mini safes - You could put your name on an envelope or keep a little cash box at the bar if you trust the bartender or a friend more than you trust the other performers. I wouldn’t make a big deal of it if you do this, because of what I’m about to mention next…
4. Trust - In my experience there isn’t really all that much theft. In all the time I’ve been doing this I’ve known of only two incidents of someone having their money stolen (in all the other cases the money had been misplaced or miscounted) and one incident of someone having their clothes stolen. In all those situations the people who got their stuff stolen were the ones who made the biggest deal out of not trusting their colleagues. Ha! Generally I’ve found that there’s quite a bit of honor amongst thieves. LOL (Sorry, that probably wasn’t as funny as I think it is.) Pay attention - don’t let yourself be taken advantage of, but also don’t contribute to a self-fulfilling prophecy. The pro is that your coworkers will probably respect you. The con is that you might be wrong.
5. Don’t bring much. The pros are that you don’t have to keep up with much and you don’t have to worry about your belongings being lost or stolen. The cons are that you will probably end up with only the outfit you’re wearing under your clothes, and you might have to ask to borrow something from someone else (who may not be willing/able to accomodate you). But you can keep your money in your pocket or shoes (which you should do in the case of #2 and #4 also). That might be fine. It might not. You know your situation.

NOTE: Consider going to your car after work in groups of 2 or 3, or get an escort to your ride. It can be dangerous to leave work alone. People know that dancers carry alot of cash right after work. You should worry more about muggers and patrons than other performers. If you have to leave alone, PAY ATTENTION. Get to your ride quickly, and lock the door promptly upon sitting down. I do not advise dawdling to talk outside the club after work. You make yourself vulnerable as a traget for robbery.