Devon Hunter

I got a mildly scolding email today from Brian. “You haven’t been forthcoming on your blog lately. Pity.” That may not sound terribly intense, but I think I’m a tad in the dog house.

So I wanted to give my thoughts about the dynamic of “calm vs panicked.” Escorting has not turned out to be difficult for me at all. I have met some really wonderful people thus far. Perhaps I’m lucky, but everyone I’ve met has been polite, intelligent, considerate, and engaging. I’ve had a few no-shows, and I’ve had to vet out a few people who were interested in something I cannot do (and there was one total asshole who got told where he could put his money); however, I am surprised only by how quickly I have totally adapted. The thought of dancing in clubs on a regular basis is suddenly almost revolting to me. Not because clubs are bad places, or that the people there aren’t good, but because I didn’t realize until now how much I’d been grinding myself into the dust!

So, calm vs panicked… There are some similarities between the two careers. The most nerve wracking is the unpredictability; however, I am doing so much better now that I can afford a bad night (whereas in the clubs I was always tip toeing on the edge of a chasm). When I place ads there is always the lag: The day or so that has to pass before the ad goes live and people have time to see it and reply. I generally forget that this lag is there and start worrying about what is wrong with me. WHY AREN’T THEY EMAILING?!!

Silly… How many times do I have to remind myself that everything is going to be okay? I have to say that I did exceptionally well in August and September. I am not in Atlanta this weekend (although my itinerary says I should be). I cancelled the trip. I didn’t get any replies. None. And that’s to be expected: I went two weekends in a row in August, and then I forgot to place my ad in advance this time. So, I’m taking the weekend off unexpectedly.

And you know what?

It’s okay. I’m no longer anywhere near as vulnerable as I was when I was in the clubs. And removing that stress makes everything so much better in the rest of my life. I don’t necessarily feel calm, because I’m still home so seldom that my apartment is a wreck (and that type of clutter IRRITATES me). But not being terrified of the randomness of Swinging Richards is definitely something I could get used to.

To say that I’m content with my transition into escorting is an understatement. I wish only that I’d done it sooner. However, I’m glad I didn’t do it sooner, because you should do only that with which you are comfortable. And I wasn’t comfortable with it until now. And I am very happy.

So, the dynamics are still there, but the rules remain the same (since the scale of the implications are even greater than before): Do nothing out of desparation. Avoid that which causes you pain, humiliation, fear, or guilt. Enjoy your work. The bad nights will come… but they will go.

I’m hungry… have a great weekend! I’m going to go eat something yummy.

Dear Devon,

As you pursue your new full time career, please know that you are not doing anything wrong… I do not think you are, nor do I think I am wrong for hiring escorts… Also, consider hiring escorts yourself and enjoying them, so that you are learning to be the best you can be. Good luck to you!

T

Dear T -

I definitely believe in fostering Good. And that’s a philosophical point I’ve written about: The difference between encouraging Good and doing Right. To me, Good is eternal – it goes beyond us as individuals. It is what it is, without regard to time and place. On the other hand, Right changes based on the culture/person that is examining how best to accomplish Good.

No matter the time, place, or person, Good is universal (e.g. Love). However, totally dependent on time, place, and person is Right (e.g. cultural mores that regulate sexuality). What is Right to one person may not be Right to another. For example, Boston 2009 does NOT have the same sense of Right as Boston 1709. Boston, in both times, is full of people who want to encourage Good, but this same place at different times has very different ideas about Right and how it leads to Good. Do you actually think a sect of Puritans would get away with hanging 21 people for “witchcraft” in this day and age? The Puritans thought they were Right. So did Hitler. So did the Inquisition. So did the Aztecs. So do the terrorists. In trying to encourage the ideal that is Good, they tried to do what they thought was Right. And that’s the problem: I think people should encourage Good. I do not think people should do Right. Good is for everyone, but Right is only for a privileged few (and who wants that? BLAH!).

And that is the point I want to make: I am totally comfortable that I am encouraging Good in making my transition into this full time career. Affection and respect encourage Good. I provide (without guilt or shame) a service that is desparately needed. We are integrated beings, and if we do not have outlets for our passions/emotions, we die (literally and figuratively). We cannot separate our desire from our selves/ourselves. They are part of a whole. I give people, who many not otherwise have the option, a chance to connect to that deep well of satisfaction. How is that not Good?

And it’s funny you would mention learning by hiring: I am quite honored to brag that Sean Knight (www.seanknightxxx.com) is my mentor. I talk to him daily, we travelled together in Florida all last week (and will be travelling together again in NYC the first week of September), and I am soaking up everything he feels inclined to share. You see… I used to be an educator. I know it’s better to learn from an expert, rather than reinvent the wheel. So… I am already totally invested in doing an “apprenticeship,” and I’ve been lucky enough to make friends/colleagues with one of the best in the US. Sean has already helped me more than I could ever truly repay. He and I have a bond that is friendly, generous, and respectful.

At any rate, I hope this didn’t go on too long. I look forward to hearing your thoughts as to whether or not the October visit is something you would like to commit to. Be well, and I will talk with you soon.

Devon

Okay, so this week has been a mixed bag… The trip to Florida has not been the financial windfall I’d hoped it would be; however, I have had a good time with my travel companions, and I’ve learned alot. This alone makes the voyage worth it.

But there is still a great deal to contend with in my head. I don’t want to focus on any of that noise: There are some points of improvement, and these are the lights I want to focus on. My roommate got my car to start, and she said she drove it around the block – it seems to be running just fine. The silicone I used to patch some tiny holes in my convertible top have held through several heavy storms. I got the electric bill transferred into my name at my new apartment, and they didn’t ask for a deposit. And my landlord is going to let me leave a month early from my lease (and will simply keep the deposit), so I don’t have to pay rent on two places for September as well as August. WHEW!

I do try to look for the humor in life. Without it all of this would be utterly unbearable. Although I still have some bridges to cross as I leave the clubs and enter escorting, I can at least put a few checks in the boxes on my list of items to accomplish. So… in the interest of finding the fabuluscious points of gay light in all this ridiculous Frankensteinian darkness I offer you a song from “Rocky Horror Picture Show:”