Devon Hunter

Well, where to begin??? As always, too much to do in too little time; however, I prefer being overwhelmed to being bored ANY DAY. I have to say it: I entertain myself pretty well. What with all my projects and drama, there’s never a dull moment, eh?

Okay, so it’s time to start getting ready for the summer. This is going to be a time of change for me. Literal physical change. My exclusive contract with Sean Cody will run out at the end of May, 2010, and my friends at Fabscout: NOT SAFE FOR WORK/Music may play when page opens (whom I don’t believe I’ve mentioned until now) are hopefully going to be keeping me pretty busy with a variety of gay video projects. One of the many aspects I have enjoyed with Fabscout so far is their unrelenting expectation that their models use condoms. I wouldn’t continue on with the porn if I thought I’d be expected to do bareback scenes.

What does this mean in terms of going to the next level? Well, I am going to workout with my trainer an extra day each week during the next few months, and I have restarted a system of very clean and high quality supplements by Cellucor (I will be doing the Lean Muscle Growth system). I know some of you will see some red flags in this, because of what I have said in the past about anorexia and Dysmorphia; however, there are videos on Cellucor that explain how the supplements work. I also want you to know that I am approaching this from the perspective of healthy, sustainable gains, not obsessive or exaggerated notions about my shape. Also, I am keeping the word “supplement” firmly in my mind: I am definitely eating (I just polished off a whole box of couscous with two chicken breasts, 1/8 yellow bell pepper, a cup of fresh spinach, and a handful of cherry tomatoes… and I’m still hungry. My baby gotta eat!).

Don’t worry: I AM EATING. I’m just getting polished up. Always remember, my little ones: Pain is temporary… Video is forever!!

I am not so worried about getting help with body fat - I have been trying to monitor refined carbs (CHOCOLATE!!!! xoxoxo I love you, and I miss you dearly… we shall meet again soon one day…), and I’m confident I can manage that on my own. But what I am preparing for right now is to do some photoshoots in the coming weeks and video shoots beginning at some point in June. I gotta get my sexy on in a hurry!

OMG… I have to hang with the Big Fellas again… I really do hope this isn’t Swinging Richards all over again. I’m not feeling (in terms of social mores) any conflict about this, and once I get some fine tuning done on the chassis I think my confidence will be just fine. I am excited at the idea of working with models who are gay. No matter what, that has got to make filming easier than what I did last summer: I really don’t dig working with Paysexual dudes. They’re pretty to look at sometimes, but the ladies can have them, thanks very much.

I got a mildly scolding email today from Brian. “You haven’t been forthcoming on your blog lately. Pity.” That may not sound terribly intense, but I think I’m a tad in the dog house.

So I wanted to give my thoughts about the dynamic of “calm vs panicked.” Escorting has not turned out to be difficult for me at all. I have met some really wonderful people thus far. Perhaps I’m lucky, but everyone I’ve met has been polite, intelligent, considerate, and engaging. I’ve had a few no-shows, and I’ve had to vet out a few people who were interested in something I cannot do (and there was one total asshole who got told where he could put his money); however, I am surprised only by how quickly I have totally adapted. The thought of dancing in clubs on a regular basis is suddenly almost revolting to me. Not because clubs are bad places, or that the people there aren’t good, but because I didn’t realize until now how much I’d been grinding myself into the dust!

So, calm vs panicked… There are some similarities between the two careers. The most nerve wracking is the unpredictability; however, I am doing so much better now that I can afford a bad night (whereas in the clubs I was always tip toeing on the edge of a chasm). When I place ads there is always the lag: The day or so that has to pass before the ad goes live and people have time to see it and reply. I generally forget that this lag is there and start worrying about what is wrong with me. WHY AREN’T THEY EMAILING?!!

Silly… How many times do I have to remind myself that everything is going to be okay? I have to say that I did exceptionally well in August and September. I am not in Atlanta this weekend (although my itinerary says I should be). I cancelled the trip. I didn’t get any replies. None. And that’s to be expected: I went two weekends in a row in August, and then I forgot to place my ad in advance this time. So, I’m taking the weekend off unexpectedly.

And you know what?

It’s okay. I’m no longer anywhere near as vulnerable as I was when I was in the clubs. And removing that stress makes everything so much better in the rest of my life. I don’t necessarily feel calm, because I’m still home so seldom that my apartment is a wreck (and that type of clutter IRRITATES me). But not being terrified of the randomness of Swinging Richards is definitely something I could get used to.

To say that I’m content with my transition into escorting is an understatement. I wish only that I’d done it sooner. However, I’m glad I didn’t do it sooner, because you should do only that with which you are comfortable. And I wasn’t comfortable with it until now. And I am very happy.

So, the dynamics are still there, but the rules remain the same (since the scale of the implications are even greater than before): Do nothing out of desparation. Avoid that which causes you pain, humiliation, fear, or guilt. Enjoy your work. The bad nights will come… but they will go.

I’m hungry… have a great weekend! I’m going to go eat something yummy.

I’ve mentioned in the past that my family knows what I do for a living and is supportive and encouraging. But lately I’ve had a few people question the veracity of this claim. “Your mother couldn’t possibly (insert whatever she couldn’t possibly do here).”

Well, last night Mom called me while I was at Swinging Richards in the dressing room. I specifically answered it, “Hey, Mom!” just to see what the other dancers would do. It was very cute: They looked at me like I was a third grader who’d been called to the principal’s office.

After a minute I said, “I have to get ready to get on stage - I’m at the club.” All their eyes got big. It was cute. But, if you still don’t believe me, look at the comments on my Michael Jackson memoriam. Incidentally, for people who don’t want to bother reading that long entry about fitness and diet that has a link to your left, then just watch this video, and you’ll know how I maintain my body:

I will be in Atlanta, GA this weekend for the first time in nearly a month. It will be the first time I’ve gone since my Sean Cody debut. On the one hand I’m wondering/worrying if it will affect me adversely, but on the other hand so many of the dancers there are in films that it probably won’t matter (in fact, I know “Emory” from Sean Cody - he’s one of my favorite guys at Swinging Richards). So, to all my friends in Atlanta, please come out and give me some encouraging words. LOL Peace!

No real depth to this entry; however, there is something to be said for levity and brevity, n’est-ce pas? Although it was a sparse weekend in Atlanta, I had a really good time. Something made me feel really alive while I was dancing, and I think that this “something” was the realization that, come what may, I am doing what I enjoy.

Suddenly it didn’t matter that the crowds were thin. I let go of being tired. I was able to not feel sad that I was missing “my” bed/shower in D.C. There was my body, my sense of humor, and the music. And that was enough.

I had a great time, and I met my weekly goal. What else is there to demand of life? I got to see my friend Chris, and I enjoyed the company of (most of) the other dancers. I met a wonderful girl named Jen who comes to the club with her sweet gay roommate, and I got to do pushups and abs with Preston in the VIP lounge. I also found out I can get health insurance of some kind at a discounted rate through an arrangement between Swinging Richards and Afleck (sp?). So… there you have it.

I’m about to go get a massage.