Devon Hunter

Hello Devon,

I just saw a bit of your Rentmen video interview, and have glanced at your blog.  This was enough to send you a “thank you” for your honesty, and for representing someone with talent and intelligence in the adult field.  Your pictures are great, and I believe you promised more adult work to come.  I got a “boner” when you described escorting as a “promotion” you had given yourself.

My background is also in the performing arts, and I am contemplating more adult work (I have done some), in order to help me with a career change that I have already started, toward graphic/digital design.  I am now contemplating a committed effort toward more videos and escorting in order to continue this effort, and so I found your profile to be inspiring and helpful.

I do wonder if you have felt respected in your work, since you seemed to indicate that some clients are not very nice.  I have noticed a lot of judgmental gays, even though they pay for companionship and are avid consumers of porn.  I imagine you must be finding your way, or you would not have done the video interview.

Good luck to you,

Sonny

Hello Sonny,

First, thank you for taking the time to write such a gracious letter to me. You (and many of my colleagues) prove the point I seek to make: Adult Entertainers can be (and often are) just as intelligent, kind, educated, hard working, and polite as anyone else. The voice in your email is a smart one, and I am excited to hear from someone whose story is so similar to mine.

As to your question concerning respect. I have danced in clubs, done videos, and escorted. Each is satisfying in its own way, but each also attracts criticism in its own way. Of the three, the dancing created the most numerous opportunities for disrespect (because of the face-to-face interaction with so many people); the videos provided the most public airing of insults (see: -1 + 1 = 0); and the escorting has created the most personalized forms of disrespect (given the very intimate nature of the interactions).

When you are dancing (nearly) nude, you will be open to all sorts of potshots from people in the audience. When you are on the internet this is also the case, but the people saying whatever comes to their small minds will be published for the world to see (and you probably won’t have had the pleasure of meeting the anonymous hypocrite[s] in question). And when you escort you may find yourself at the whim of timewasters and powerhungry clients who seek to dominate you with issues surrounding money.

My advice is this: If you dance, be as friendly as you can without allowing people to take advantage of you. Your bar should have a “no harrassment” policy in place. If someone is disrespectful and/or violent toward you, have his sorry ass ejected and/or banned. Do not work for a club that doesn’t support you in this manner.

If you are going to do video, you have to simply own that there is a whole strand of the human population that thrives on negativity. Make the choice to not read the discussion boards (e.g. SeanCodyReviews.com, JustUsBoys.com, etc.). They are full of unhelpful, stupid, and mean commentary that will do nothing to make you better as a person, artist, or entertainer. Look for constructive criticism, but do not look for it in those review boards.

And finally: If you decide to go into escorting, I would strongly advise that you NOT look to the forum at Daddy’s Reviews. Contact escorts directly with questions. The threads at Daddy’s take on a decidedly confrontational tone at all turns, and any value in the information you might find there gets drowned out by the ridiculous flame wars and peevish attitudes of most of the clients there (many of whom do not even hire, but merely spout off threats to not hire you if you have the audacity to formulate your own thoughts). There is very little input from escorts on those threads anymore, because most of us don’t feel like being harrassed with arguments. Listen to the advice I ignored: Do not become involved at Daddy’s. You will gain nothing from the exchanges.

Ultimately you have to define your terms for yourself. I am not obliged for any reason whatsoever to be anyone for someone else. I am Devon Hunter. You have to be Sonny. You cannot maintain any other facade. Be exactly who you are (while still being professional and kind), and extend to people the respect you want from them. But remember my platinum rule: Do unto YOURSELF as you would have others do unto you. Do not tolerate attacks to your sense of self just for money. There are lots of clients who will treat you nicely, so do not feel obligated to put up with those who would transform you into something you are not.

I wish you success,

Devon

In my belief system Samhain (known to most people as Halloween) is the last day of the year. It is the Day of the Dead; however, it isn’t a morbid holiday. It’s the time when you say goodbye to loved ones and pets, especially those who have transitioned to the next life in the last year; it’s the time to remember and be thankful for domesticated animals and harvested plants, because their deaths give the living sustenance; and it is a time for closure, reflection, and release, especially of the worries of the last year.

In the old days Samhain was a festival that took place over the course of three nights, but now it is focused down into one. In those times it was not only a time of emotional closure and thanksgiving, it was also a time of forgiving debts. If someone were destitute and could not pay back a debt, it was forgiven, so that the invididual could have a better chance of a fresh start (and thus resume being a productive member of society). Samhain is the night when the veil between this world and the next is the thinnest, so it was also a time to commune with spirits.

But Samhain was yesterday. Today is literally a new day. It’s funny, but I left my last boyfriend in October of 2006, so everything in my life revolves around November. My checklist for paying bills begins with November, my leases always expire in October (so my moves always happen around this time of year when I need/want to relocate), and my other personal cycles have thus aligned to this time of year. It’s an interesting coincidence (if coincidences exist) that I am aligned to the new year this way.

I feel refreshed, and I look forward to what is coming in the next cycle. I know most of you think of the year as having 8 more weeks, but when you finally catch up to me, I hope you are in as great a state of optimism as I am. I wish you happiness, plenty, prosperity, and fulfillment NOW, whether you’ll accept it in November or not.

I have discovered a new fear (or at least a different incarnation of a familiar one): The fear of financial success. It’s odd… I find that I work very hard in various endeavors, hoping to attain some modicum of “success” in whatever it is I’m doing; however, as soon as I start to see those results, I (without realizing it, until after it has happened) back down/lose interest/get scared. Why would this be?

Is there worry that once I have achieved a particular “bench mark” there’ll be nothing left to do? Probably not. I don’t think in those terms. But what I have realized (and have said in various ways in different entries) is that I thrive on the process more than the outcome. I think there is also some small part of me that worries about maintenance/endurance/consistency… If I attain “success” how will I then avoid losing it?

An interesting part of me that I need to examine more closely… I think this misstep in logic has cost me a great deal, and I need to reflect on how I think it has tripped me up in the past. I think I purposefully sabatoge myself, and I need to think about the subtle ways this fear manifests itself. Any insight from y’all would be greatly appreciated.

I am on the verge of creating tangible security and stability for myself for the first time, and I’m scared I’m going to get scared and fuck it up.

I drive around a great deal. And there are times when the faint business voice in my head clamors a bit louder than normal, or when my well of patience finally runs dry, and I get fed up enough to remove a club from my itinerary. And Secrets has teetered on that razor edge since the very first booking I had there a few months ago. But there are many factors to consider before going that route.

First, I need the variety. I get bored quickly. I like to think this is symptomatic of rampant intelligence, but I’d not be surprised to find it simply betrays a short attention span. At any rate, it’s good to move around and remain as new as possible to as many people as possible. And yet, if a club isn’t properly primed, the patrons may not know how to show appreciation to entertainers. Cutting a club from the list is limiting in ways that can be helpful or hurtful.

Next, for me to really completely write a venue off (especially after having frequented it), I have to be pretty near irreconcilably pissed off about something that truly matters: There’s a difference between taking a break and saying “never again.” There’s a club in Macon, GA that has this status: When Scotty and I walked in they asked us, “Are you going to be sucking cock over here or over there? We need to know where to set the screens up.” Ahem. That booking was okay as far as money, and they didn’t wrangle over the fee, but they’re impossible to coordinate with (because both owners send emails separately without conferring first). So. Never again, Macon. I needed an extended break from PT1109 in Columbia, but I’m almost ready to go again. Swinging Richards is its own little vortex, but I do admit that I’ve missed not being there for the past several weeks.

Lastly (for now), I have to consider the connections I’ve made in various places. True, I find Secrets to be incredibly mismanaged on many levels. True, the money has never justified the travel required to get there. True, I find it to be ridiculously exploitative to be required to walk around naked with an erection and no guarantee of income. However…

I have made some wonderful friends in D.C. Hopefully they know who they are, and I think they know what I mean when I use the word “friend.” I would like to think I’ve made it clear to them how much I like and appreciate them. I really enjoy D.C. as a city (except for the damn “roads” and “drivers”), at least the Northwest quadrant, anyway. And I would like them to know that if it weren’t for the anchor of my dance company, I would probably move to D.C. this fall, since my lease ends in September. But there are connections in Charlotte that I’m not willing to sever just yet.

And so, despite the frustration I contend with at Secrets, I will continue (no matter what I say) to book myself there. These amazing people add something to my trip that is worth more than the cash which I do or do not make at the club. They are more valuable to me than mere money. They are treasures unto themselves. And so then: How could I not include Secrets? Cutting Secrets would mean walking away from far more than I’m willing to sacrifice.

(Tu sais bien, Monsieur SS, que tu me manques déjà, et que je ne peux guère attendre à te revoir.)

The title of this entry comes from a song by Madonna about her (then) newly born daughter. It seems fitting for a number of reasons. Before I go into what’s on my mind, I should first apologize for not blogging sooner: I had promised some wonderful stories, and all you got was silence. Let me explain…

Perhaps you have noticed that two separate times now there has been a listing in my bookings for San Diego called “Career Exploration” or something equally cryptic. I should go ahead and explain, for those who didn’t click the link to see what it was all about, that I have done two videos for the Sean Cody site. One is a solo video, the other is a duo. I am getting fatigued of driving to far away clubs just to have to hope that there will be a crowd with people who like me and are willing to tip. This is a modality of adult entertainment that is new to me. And I had some adjusting to do in my head. I will continue doing it as long as they call me. But it muddied the waters for me at first.

After my solo video everything was fine. But there are multiple layers of complication associated with the duo, and it has taken me a week to come back into balance. At the base of my turmoil was not guilt or shame for having done the videos, because I’m actually quite proud to have been recruited by Sean Cody. Think of it as one of the highest compliments I could have been given in my career field. What has been gnawing at me is the real fear that I am going to look totally pathetic compared to my scene fellow.

He showed up looking like a tank. In his pics he was slender, toned, and boyish with a floppy haircut. He arrived with a cropped dome, muscles nearly bursting from under his skin, and a tan so dark that I felt very pale by comparison. How is it possible for a 20-year-old to put on at least 20, if not 30, pounds of compact lean muscle in less than a year??? I felt like a grub next to him. I felt like Gollum.

He was straight, and that (along with many other layers of complication) made it difficult after the first four hours to keep an erection. The last three hours in particular were almost botched by my near inability to maintain appearances. This is definitely work. It isn’t sexy to do, but the editing process will take the 120 minutes captured from the 7-hour shoot, and refine it down to a polished 15-minute fantasy. Good enough. I’ll be pleased just to not look like a wimp beside the super-sized Fuller.

All this was very upsetting. But I have a brilliant friend who feeds me some of the most beautiful imagery at the times I need it most. As frustrating as it must be to have to repeat the same conversation over and over, she still keeps on trying to help me understand that I’m a star, and that I shine pretty brightly. She also reminds me with what must be desensitizing frequency that I am also full of love.

The wonderful extended metaphor I got from this person went something like this: You are like Apollo. You go flying by like a blinding light! You glow so brightly. You are so hot. But you’ve completely removed yourself from this place, almost like a star surrounded by the cold vacuum of space. You are a huge ball of beautiful energy, but no one can touch you. That must be very lonely.

It can be. Another reason I took so long to blog is because of something that happened on Facebook. My first boyfriend – I mean THE VERY FIRST – found me. That needs a totally separate entry. It’s that complex…