Devon Hunter

Someone, I believe it was Curt, asked me how honest I am on my blog: Pretty damn honest. I have friends worry that I tell too much. But how else am I to fulfill the mission of this blog? What would be the point of undermining one series of misconceptions by creating new ones?

I treat this writing space the same way I treat a dance studio and a theater stage: It is a space for me to share myself with people who are interested in what I have to say. I create performance art based on autobiographical material. Intimates in my audiences will shake their heads at the details I reveal in my work. But I am accustomed to being naked in front of audiences. I don’t have anything to lose or to hide. I’m not running for public office (I’ve been far too forthright about my life to ever be able to do that in the United States… a pity, since transparency would be a welcome change in our politicians).

So, to put this issue to rest: The only agenda I have on this website is to encourage patrons to see adult entertainers as people. I am faulted. I have talents. I am strong in some ways, but weak in others. I like people, even though many of them hurt me, and if I tell you what I’ve experienced, then you can bank on its being real. One of the observations I ran into at UCLA: The same professor who said I was “begrudgingly brilliant” also noted that my stories sound like fairy tales, not only because I’ve had an interesting life, but because I enjoy the telling as much as the living.

Dear Devon,

You are a genius.  Your life and you living it as reflected in your blog is ART.  Thank you so much for sharing this art with the world, even though I am not, perhaps, your target audience.

Sincerely,
Jennifer* 

*Explorer of the Farthest Reaches of The Internet, Lover of Men, Maleness, and Man-love in all its permutations.

Dear Jennifer,

I am sitting here stunned at your email. This is one of the kindest notes anyone has ever sent me from the blog. If you are not my “target audience,” it is only because you already recognize that everyone has a story, it isn’t because you’re female. All are welcome.

Go forward with love in your new year.

xo
Devon

 
It really isn’t enough for me to say this to Jennifer. It is (to me, anyway) my responsibility to more clearly identify my “target audience,” which is much wider than I’d originally thought: Women, who make up the greatest portion of adult entertainment, are definitely welcome here (and so are other women who aren’t in “the biz”).

Currently there is a tab at the top of this page that says “About.” I think that I will be updating that to “Mission” and using it as a space to more precisely define what it is I hope to accomplish through this blog. I invite you, my fabulous readers of all backgounds, to visit that page once the change has been made from “About” to “Mission.” I am also changing “Dancers” to “Directory.” If you would like to consider being featured on this site as a professional adult entertainer, or if you would like to submit posts, please visit the Directory.

I cannot speak for other entertainers, but I myself am riddled with issues surrounding my appearance. I was anorexic for eight years. Then I developed a good strong case of Body Dysmorphic Disorder, which I still struggle with. Perhaps it’s because of what I do, but insecurities about my body take a disproportionate amount of brain space. I see myself as bird chested with a pot belly, spindly limbs and a huge head. I really don’t think I’d be able to draw an accurate picture of myself.

At any rate, what is meant as a sideways compliment can often create an uncomfortable situation for me: If I lie and reply, “Yes, of course I know I’m hot…” well, that just doesn’t feel right. If I opt for honesty and reply, “No, I think I’m rather repugnant…” well, that just looks like fishing for flattery. I generally opt for, “I only know what you tell me.” It’s reassuring that other people find me attractive, but until I see what they see, I’ll be second-guessing.