Devon Hunter

(In the spirit of providing useful information and a place for intelligent dialogue, www.DevonHunter.info accepts well written blog entries about topics of concern to adult entertainment. The views expressed in the following article are not necessarily shared by the operators of the hosting site. Archived guest writers’ articles will be listed under Interviews & Essays.)

The best way to alienate your fans

In my previous post, I talked about a few ways to draw people to your work and connect with them in order to promote loyalty and increase visibility. For my last post with Devon, I want to share a story with you to illustrate a great way to lose not only fans, but subscribers for your various studios.

I am an erotic author.  As part of that discipline, it’s my job to imagine wicked, sexy scenes for my novels.  Last week I had a thought for one of my favorite adult models on a scene for a specific studio which with he is affiliated.  The idea was simply a role reversal with another model (an idea that was not unique to that site); however, for this particular model, I hadn’t ever heard of him doing any kind of switch like this, despite seeing countless comments wishing that he would do so.  I wrote out a quick sketch of my idea and emailed it to the model.  We’d emailed a few times previously, so I figured there would be no harm in doing so.

I was mistaken.

To say that he was not receptive to the idea would be a grave understatement.  As someone who also receives emails from fans, I saw that there were two ways he could have dealt with my email.  The first would have been to simply say that he didn’t think the idea would work.  This I would have understood and accepted.  Instead, I received a rage-filled, hateful email (with a cruel follow up message just for good measure).  I was shocked by the sheer aggressiveness and almost violence of his response, as were the friends I shared it with.
The results of that email included me pulling my subscriptions from the sites he is affiliated with, informing those studios of his interactions with their subscribers, and the withdrawal of my friends’ subscriptions.  I realize that to an industry such as gay adult films that this is merely a drop in their bucket against a bankable model’s lure, but I just could not justify paying hard-earned money to someone who would treat a fan so harshly for merely trying help increase his fan base.

My advice to you, from one professional to another, is this: If you receive an email, tweet, Facebook post, blog comment, etc. that angers or upsets you, do not respond while you are angry.  Once you hit that send button, you cannot take it back, and you have absolutely no control over what happens to the email. Have someone else look over your reply to see if there is the possibility that what you say may come back to haunt you. Think about the possible repercussions of your email.  Would you say the same comments in a blog post or on Twitter?  You just might, because there is nothing to stop the recipient from posting your email anywhere they choose.

I did not name the model or re-post the conversation publicly, because I’m not a vengeful person.    My email obviously upset him, and I’m honestly sorry that it did.  It was never my intention.  This post serves merely to remind you that once you post something on the internet (either via email, or sites such as Twitter), you can’t ever get it back.  There are thousands of bots monitoring Twitter to re-post tweets.  Even if you delete the original post, it’s still out there forever.  So, take a deep breath, or even a walk before you respond to someone in anger, because your reputation could depend on it.

Wishing you a wonderful and productive 2011,

- J. P. Barnaby
www.jpbarnaby.com
Twitter: @JPBarnaby

Erotic fiction is more than just moans, grunts, and physical pleasure. To J. P. Barnaby, erotic fiction consists not only of the mechanics of physical love, but the complex characters and relationships that lead to those all-encompassing feelings of need and longing. Sex without context is merely sex – but sex coupled with attraction, with explosive repercussions – that is good erotic fiction.

In light of what is happening with Rekers there are a great many conversations out there dominated by people who should shut the fuck up.

“Escorting is a livelihood, not a career.”

Oh, really? Well, look who knows so much.

Let’s take a moment to evaluate whether or not escorting is a career. A career is that work one does for which one is paid, and it is generally supported by personal investment, training, expertise, and networking. I would like to address each of these in turn as a proof that although escorting can be “only” a livelihood, it can also be a full-fledged career.

Personal Investment

As Dolly Parton said, “It costs a lot of money to look this cheap.” Let me just tell you what I have to pay in order to play the part. Equivocate this to paying for college if you will; however, know that careers generally involve a huge investment on an individual’s part, and adult entertainment is no exception. This is what it costs me to maintain the Devon Hunter brand:

1. Personal training at $40/hour, 2-3 times/week
2. High quality food at $100 – $150/week
3. Products from Aveda (because you may was well eat what you put on your skin) at $150/month
4. Therapeutic massage to break down muscle and remove toxins at $65/hour, 1-2 times/week
5. Supplements such as vitamins and muscle maintenance at $125/month

If you want me to keep looking like I look, it’s going to cost me about $1500/month. At about $18,000/year, that is a college education. This doesn’t include the in-kind spa services that a friend treats me to (I probably got $500 worth of hair coloring, teeth bleaching, and face peeling yesterday). I am investing in my profession, so that I can remain competitive in a glutted market. I have to offer what employers want. Period.

Training

I cannot speak for all escorts, but the best among us study and train. We hire at first, in order to emulate, or associate with high quality escorts who help us avoid pitfalls. We learn a code of conduct. We talk to people who hire escorts to understand the culture of the interactions. We are honed into the equivalent of courtesans in Europe and geisha in Japan. We are artists with a variety of techniques and skills of many types and purposes. I happen to be a very vocal and open escort (concerning my thoughts and my humanity), but you are naïve if you think my experiences differ all that much from any others’. There is a process to becoming an escort. Any tramp can be a two-bit whore who throws his legs in the air for $20 with 10 minutes notice. It take time and skill to be what we are. Art is what makes it look easy.

Expertise

Every career has a set of skills unique to it which require a submission of the self to the technique. It goes without saying that a skilled escort will have honed his expertise for a particular group of clients. I happen to focus on the Boyfriend Experience (BFE). It’s what I like, and it is what I would want for myself. And that makes it easy for me to offer, and it makes it pleasurable for me to give. I would be a terrible fetish escort. I would fail at it. It isn’t my area of expertise. I am very gifted at emotional and personal connections. I am good at it. Other escorts have learned the safety issues and refined practices for whatever it is they do (e.g. S/M, B/D, water sports, extreme play, etc.). They practice their skills and learn the body. We, all of us, learn about people in intimate ways that rival the intricacies of professionals in other fields. And we charge professional fees accordingly. If you want a two-bit fuck, then go pay $20 for one. They are available, and it might be what you need. But… If you want an experience that goes beyond this… Well, you pay for that too.

Networking

Whether it be through advertising, introductions at social events, or any other method of contact, a professional escort has to build and maintain a network. The best escorts see the same clients over and over and over and over. Why? Because we’re professionals! In whatever industry you are in, how much of your sales come from established accounts, and what would happen to you if you were not to maintain those relationships? It should go without saying that professional adult entertainers of all types are highly organized, savvy, and professional people. My rant here doesn’t make me less of a professional, in my opinion. I would equate this entry to making the outside world privy to the break room banter that I would have with any other professional in my industry when something is vexing us.

You have just witnessed what I would say to any escort or exotic dancer when some stupid ass tells me that my profession is “only” a livelihood.

I work in a service-based industry (ahem). And this means that I, as much as (if not more than) anyone else in customer service, have to contend with the maxim “The customer is always right;” however, I find that I need to express some thoughts about this, given the extremely personal nature of my business. Although all salesmen know “the customer is always right,” they also know that this is always true (except for when the customer is wrong).

I think that it is important to remember that adult entertainers are people (indeed, this has been my underlying mantra since the day I first started writing this blog). As such, it is a client’s responsibility to remember certain boundaries and to use good manners. If you make an appointment, you should keep it. Being flippant about this very important detail belies a complete lack of respect and is fairly intolerable (whether the escort is new and vulnerable or established and accommodating). Vacillating on the time, expressing new expectations/interests at the last minute, or asking for lots of extra discussion (once everything has already been clearly arranged) are obstacles to the escort enjoying his time with you. Also, escorts (with some exceptions) are not your significant others: Jealousy is very unbecoming.

This weekend I had to re-establish the boundaries with multiple clients who had been testing the limits of my large reserve of patience. I am fairly certain I will not hear from either of them again, and (as anyone in business will tell you) there are some clients who are better left to find other vendors. They cause more trouble, demand more time/attention/energy, drain more personal resources, and/or impose too much of their political/personal beliefs, and become more of a liability than an asset. Most clients are awesome: They are respectful, conscientious, and well-mannered people who mind boundaries, because they want theirs remembered in return. But sometimes you will meet a client who costs you more than he keeps you.

I do not like being stern and impatient, but once I have been generous of my time and energy for weeks or months and have seen no results (or multiple cancellations), I have to finally accept that someone is a time waster. Beware of potential clients for whom there are always complications and/or excuses. Treat them with respect, but do not allow them to fritter away your energy.