Devon Hunter

This weekend I was at PT1109, and I guess it was time for my annual Spring nuclear meltdown. It’s my way of doing a thorough emotional Spring cleaning. I’m not proud of it, and I generally feel deep shame for about three-five days after it happens. I have had one every year in either April or May ever since I can remember. I’m normally very even-keeled (for a gay guy), but (over the course of a year) various tiny shreds of stress will pile up in a dry heap, and then someone will do or say something that causes a spark. And then… well…

I was going around the bartop, and I looked down to see three guys at the end of the circuit. I am familiar with the third person, having chatted with him numerous times. The other two (unbeknownst to me) were a couple. I thought one of these two was about to pull his penis out, since it looked like his button was unsnapped, looked like his hand was down the front of his pants, and it appeared he was pulling up, as if about to pull it right on out. This, of course, is against the rules. If I’d known then that this fairly innocuous situation was going to nosebomb out of control, I would have been curt in interrupting what I genuinely thought was about to be a “no no” moment and would have moved along.

However, in trying to keep from offending people, I made a game of it. “Oh! You’re tired of looking at mine, so now I finally get to see yours?” The guy with his hand in his pants just smiled, took his hand out, and made light of it. The man next to him, however, got his feathers ruffled up. I thought it’d be a nice gesture to flirt with him too, so as not to seem like a kill-joy.

“Hello, what’s your name?”

“I’m S____, and he’s my boyfriend.”

“I didn’t ask who he is, I asked who you are,” I said with a teasing tone. ”What’s your name again?”

“S____.”

“Nice to meet you, S____.” (Insert hand shake) “And what’s your name?”

“M____.”

“Nice to meet you M____.” (Insert hand shake)

This is the moment where everything spiraled out of control. It has been made known to me (48 hours later) that “M” has evidently voiced a flattering appraisal of my appearance in the past, and that “S” is upset at me because of this. It should also be mentioned that the other three dancers that night not only flirted with “S” and “M,” but that they also hugged and squeezed on the couple as well (in addition to the third person who was sitting next to them). I do not know “S,” and I’d seen “M” only in passing for about a year. I’d never seen the two together that I can recall, didn’t know that they were a couple, and didn’t know that I was the only dancer not allowed to “flirt” with “S”’s man. After I shook “M”’s hand I stood up to leave when “S” made a disgusted face and gave me a “you’re dismissed” flick of the wrist. His utter disdain was the spark that lit me up.

“Do not dismiss me. Ever.”

“I just did.”

“You’re not in a position to dismiss me.”

From there it descended into a shouting match in front of the entire crowd. We exchanged angry threats and abusive names. I was going to walk away, but then “S” started yelling at the bartender about me. So I went back over. “No! We can have this conversation with me right here, bitch!”

“You were hitting on my boyfriend!”

“YOU’RE IN A FUCKING STRIP CLUB!” I roared so loudly that I could be heard clearly over the music. I was shaking with rage, and it was all I could do to pull my finger out of ”S”’s face. At that I stormed away.

It turns out that “S” is a friend of the owner of the bar. I really am completely non-plussed by this fact. There are other issues here that are more important: Aside from the various dysfunctions that have been accumulating in the background in this club, the couple in question were possibly already drunk when they came in, the bartenders gave them more alcohol (perhaps because they were scared to “cut off” friends of the owner?), and I got involved with them only because I thought ”M” was about to commit a major faux pas. I am not going to apologize to anyone for anything. The only mistake I feel I made was allowing the dismissal from someone I don’t even know to burn me so badly.

It seems that “S” is a person of some importance in the local gay community. That, too, is irrelevant in my mind. I don’t recall ever seeing him before in the two years that I’ve danced at PT1109, didn’t know he had a problem with me, didn’t know I wasn’t allowed to interact with the person who happens to be his boyfriend, and didn’t know that ”S” had any special privileges because of his connection to the owner. If people expect me to know this fucking bullshit, then they should let me in on these facts.

The bottom line is this: I don’t give a good goddamn if you’re Barack Obama himself. In the dark with a drink in your hand, if you’re crunk and hollaring in a bar, you’re just another inebriated asshole to me. I don’t care who you think you are - I am not the one to dismiss because you have the mistaken notion that I want anything but a dollar from your boyfriend.

In the meantime my pride is healing slowly. These yearly explosions embarrass me completely. They make me feel like I’m out of control of myself. And they make me feel stupid. I’m not sorry that I yelled at “S,” I’m sorry that someone of so little importance to me became far too important in such a short time. Although I am ashamed of the outburst, I don’t feel obliged to apologize for it. Maybe that seems complicated or ridiculous, but if anyone owes anyone anything, “S” owes me a dollar for shaking his hand without vomiting on him.

So, I went out last night (Tuesday Trivial Pursuit at Petra’s in Charlotte, NC) for the first time in quite a while. Every time I go out for fun I remember why I don’t. Over the course of about four hours I had umpteen random people come up to me (most of whom I had never seen before) and criticize something about the way I looked or the way I was dressed. I was on the receiving end of several cutting remarks about what I do, and I was called up on stage by the female impersonator hosting the event who said in front of about 150 people, “This is the only stripper I’ve ever known whom I would call an entertainer.” Mhm.

Here’s one exchange I had a few moments later: “You look very nice tonight.”

“Thank you. How are you?”

“I’m good. You’re that stripper, right?”

“Which stripper?”

“That guy that does all the flips and shit.”

“Oh. Yes, I’m probably that person, yes.”

“You look really hot. Can I take you home?”

“I came here with a friend. He’s my ride back.”

“Well, when you’re dressed like that it screams ‘Whore!’ I’m just saying.”

I was wearing jeans and a tank top with a baseball cap.

“Funny, I thought it was more of a whisper.”

I was pinched, poked, prodded, rubbed, humped, squeezed, and canoodled until I was just about done with being gracious. I finally settled into a nice conversation on the back patio, but before that happened I had to get ornery with someone: One boy came up to me randomly and said, “You are sooo fucking hot. But I’ve heard about you.”

“Oh? What have you heard?”

“That you’re a dancer.”

“I am a dancer.”

“Oh, well I don’t hold that against you. I’m cool with that.”

“Ah. Well, what do you do?”

“I work at Best Buy. I’m in retail.”

“Oh, well I don’t hold that against you. I’m cool with that.”

He went and sat down.

This could probably be alleviated by going out more. I am seen so seldom in my clothes that people just don’t know how to relate to me as a real person. I suppose I should start breaking down the social wall a little bit more, and letting people see me as I am. But that means I’ll have to contend with alot of sniping and mean bullshit along the way.

A total stranger walked up to me, and said, “So, did you tear the sleeves off that shirt?”

“No, it’s a tank top. I bought it like this.”

“Well, I’d like it better on a woman. I’m sure everyone else likes it just fine, but I’m straight.”

(Blink, blink… what the hell am I supposed to say to that?)

“Alright.” And then I turned away. What else is required here? I have no idea.

Part of me desperately wants to go out and be around people more (without it being in a work setting), but another part of me just rolls his eyes and thinks it’d be better to just stay at home with the cat. I like people, I truly do; however, there are times I just want to smack them. I have to admit that this is beginning to wear me out.

Probably the most hurtful non-interaction was with someone with whom I’ve hooked up several times. He kept walking by me with his head down, refusing to look at me. I finally approached him and said hello. He acted surprised to see me, and we had a very uncomfortable 30-second chat. About an hour later I left to go home. Immediately he texted me, “Sorry we couldn’t talk more. Let’s fuck again soon.” I think not.

Devon Hunter: Please tell me: a) the contact info you would want used in the interview, b) a brief description of the organization’s history,  c) and how the organization fills a gap in standard attitudes towards sex workers.

Stacey Swimme: I am the Development Director of St. James Infirmary.

St. James Infirmary provides compassionate and non-judgmental health care and social services for all sex workers, while preventing occupational illnesses and injuries through a comprehensive continuum of services. We offer free, confidential medical and social services for female, male, and transgender, sex workers.

We are the first peer run occupational health and safety clinic for sex workers in the United States. In our case, peer run means that the majority of our staff, current or former sex workers and are active clients of the clinic-that is they also receive our services. The nature of peer-to-peer services creates a safe space where sex workers can feel safe in discussing their sexual health, seek out services that are appropriate to meet their needs, and receive culturally competent care. Sex workers tend to be pathologized in medical environments, resulting in fractured relationships with medical providers and inadequate care. At the St. James Infirmary participants have no fear of their occupation interfering with their right to receive quality medical care.

What services do you offer at the Infirmary, and how are these services funded?

About one third of our funding comes from the City of San Francisco and state of California through their respective AIDS prevention funds. This support has been slashed in 2009 as the city and state are both facing severe budget cuts. We also receive in-kind support from other clinics and HIV/AIDS prevention organizations.

We’ve recently become qualified for some third-party billing programs such as Medi-Cal and FamPACT (a family planning fund). Through these programs we’re able to receive reimbursements for some of the clinical services provided, such as gynecological care. These reimbursements are helping to off-set costs, but often still do not cover the full expense that we put out for these services.

The rest of our funding comes through private foundation grants and private contributors. Individual private donors who contribute small amounts, anywhere from $20 to $200, are really helping us keep our program going.

Our services include Primary Care, Transgender Hormone Therapy, HIV/STD/HCV Counseling and Testing, Hepatitis A/B Immunizations, Acupuncture, Massage and Reiki, Peer and Mental Health Counseling, Support Groups, Health Education Workshops, On-site and Street-based Syringe Access & Disposal (NEX), Street and Venue-based Outreach, Wound/Abscess Care, Food and Clothing, Harm Reduction Supplies, Apprenticeships and Internships, Community Research, and Education. We are open 3 days a week: Tuesdays 1-6pm (NEX) and Tuesdays 3-6pm (wound and holistic care); Wednesday 6-9pm (drop-in and appointment-based Medical services); and Thursdays 1-4pm (appointment-based transgender healthcare) and Thursdays 6-9pm (drop-in primary medical care).

A full list of the support groups, meetings, and other opportunities to participate or receive services is available at our website at www.StJamesInfirmary.org.

What type of political/social/cultural climate is required for a city to have an organization like St. James? What kind of cooperation is needed from local authorities?

This project was made possible because of the unique vision of Sex Worker rights activists from COYOTE and the Exotic Dancers Alliance (EDA). In 1999, via collaboration with the Department of Public Health STD Control and Prevention Section (known as “City Clinic”), the University of California San Francisco, COYOTE, and EDA the St. James Infirmary started as a private non-profit 501(c)(3)

Having a rich history of sex worker rights organizing in San Francisco (first with COYOTE, then BaySWAN, and later the Exotic Dancers Alliance) was central to ensuring that this would be a strong peer-led effort that would honor the true needs of sex workers. Several things happened that made this possible. In 1996 the San Francisco task force on prostitution made recommendations that the City should fund occupational health services for sex workers. In 1998, sex workers rights activist from COYOTE and EDA called the Director of STD Control and Prevention of the San Francisco Department of Public Health, Dr. Jeffrey Klausner and proposed a clinic model for sex workers that went beyond HIV and STI testing. This was the beginning of conversations and alliances to be made that provided the framework for a peer led occupational health and safety clinic for sex workers.

First we were just open one night a week at City Clinic. For five years, every Wednesday night 6-9pm, City Clinic was open to sex workers and their current partners for services ranging from primary care, STD screening and prevention, and free sexual health resources to items such as condoms. In 2003 we got our own clinic! Our hours were expanded, and a wealth of services were added.

How do you protect the privacy of the people who seek your help?

Participants are never required to provide identification. Whatever name, gender and other identities an individual wishes to be known by at our clinic are what goes into their medical records. The records are only accessible by staff who need them. Since we are mostly peers and share a desire for privacy, participants have no reason to fear that we will be insensitive about this. Medical records are protected under privacy laws and can only be shared with outside sources at the request of the participant (patient) or through a court ordered subpoena. However, we are not an anonymous test site, we are a confidential test site. Under the law, positive HIV and STI test results are disclosed to the Health Department. But if a person is using an alias, than that is the name that is reported with the test result.

What measures would you suggest if someone wanted to pursue founding a similar organization for their own area?

Collaborate! Start by building a relationship with a local clinic that sex workers in your community trust. Sometime Planned Parenthood is a good place for sex workers, sometimes they’re not. Clinics that serve LGBTQ communities also tend to be kinder to sex workers, but again, it’s hit or miss in some towns.

You also need a strong sex worker community to advocate for a rights-based approach to healthcare. Team up with your nearest Sex Workers Outreach Project (SWOP) chapter or other regional sex worker rights group. Talk with other sex workers in your community about what their actual needs and interests are. Remember, sex workers had been building community in San Francisco for over 25 years before SJI was created. That foundation and well-connected members of our community are how this was possible.

In 2006 you offered a scholarship. Can you tell me how that happened and whether or not it is an on-going program?

The scholarship program we offered was a one-time program that was the result of unclaimed settlement money in a class action lawsuit. In 2003, a group of exotic dancers filed suit against some strip clubs in San Francisco and then settled the case (Siefred v. Centerfolds, et.al. Case No. 305470). After the court exhausted attempts to reach all the original plaintiffs in the case, the Court ordered that unclaimed money from the settlement be used for a grant program focused on education, job training assistance, and alcohol/drug treatment counseling for members of the dancer community. The St. James Infirmary was one of several agencies that received grants from this program. We decided to use our grant money for scholarships to any dancer who could verify that they were currently enrolled in school or a job training program and had danced in San Francisco since 1998. The money was then paid directly to the educational institutions. It was a really amazing opportunity for us to redistribute that money to the community. All together we awarded over $60,000 in scholarship money to about 30 exotic dancers.

Which organizations do you collaborate with and how/why?

In San Francisco:
SF DPH, San Francisco AIDS Foundation, SRO Collaborative, Coalition on Homelessness, Coalition to Save Public Health, the DOPE Project (Harm Reduction Coalition), City Clinic, TransTHRIVE, Positive Directions, Harvey Milk Democratic Club, BaySWAN, and others.

Sex workers rights: We are a community organization member of the Desiree Alliance, we work with other sex worker rights groups as well including SWOP.

What benefits do you see your community enjoying because of the work done at St. James?

Most importantly we are a safe haven with understanding supportive peers. From personal experience and from speaking with others, I know that having a sense of community and a place where you feel welcome contributes to a sense of self-value that motivates us to be healthy and informed. In addition to all of the free services we offer, such as massage or accupuncture, we make friends here. We meet other participants here who will be a safe call when we do outcalls, or who can tell us about a new website to market whatever our unique service is. We circulate a bad date list to help people avoid dangerous clients. People can not only pick up condoms here, but also get info on how to use them or how to be assertive with a client who doesn’t want to use protection. These little details that we understand make huge differences in the lives of sex workers, and these details are often not available at other health clinics.

Are there any obstacles or challenges that hamper your efforts?

Lots! We’re running out of money. That’s the biggest thing. We’ve been holding on for as long as we can to avoid service cuts and cutting back staff hours. But with the reduction in support from city and state, plus the huge cuts that private foundatiuons are experiencing due to the economy, we are in a very tight place right now.

Other challenges: People’s attitudes toward sex workers; the fact that we see sick people arrested and cycled through the jail system; and them then coming out at the other end with their health in even worse a state… all of these things are hard for our staff to see and experience. The criminal status of some of our participants is a driving force in blocking their access to healthcare and safety resources. While we are running low on funds we continue to see money wasted on prohibiting prostitution, which is directly working against our mission to help sex workers stay healthy.

What is the over-arching goal of the organization, and how do you measure effectiveness?

The main goal is to give sex workers access to the tools they need to be safe and healthy. More than 70 per cent of participants say that they heard of us through a friend who has been here. This is a major sign of how effective we are being at providing culturally competent care to a very marginalized group of people.

This year is our 10 year anniversary! We’re having a huge anniversary party on June 5th, 2009 in San Francisco. Info will be at our site at http://www.StJamesInfirmary.org.

I was wondering if you might be willing to link to http://www.BoundNotGagged.com, a blog for sex workers?

I would be happy to list your links. And thank you for sharing this incredibly helpful information with me and my readers.

I’m excited to announce that Scotty and I will be going to a location that is not only new to us, but new in general. An old favorite in Washington, D.C. called Ziegfeld’s/Secrets was closed down about three years ago and demolished, so that the baseball stadium could be built. After a long wait, the club reopened about a month ago, and the management there invited us to come up at our earliest convenience…

Well, that is this weekend!

If you live in the D.C. metro area, and you would like to come out and say hello, the new Ziegfeld’s/Secrets is located at:

1824 Half Street SW
Washington, D.C. 20024
http://www.secretsdc.com/

As with Swinging Richards in Atlanta, GA, this is a nude bar, so don’t be actin’ all shy when you walk in, and there’s buck nekkid peeps on all the bartops. Hope you are all well, and that some of y’all out in cyberland will come see me and say hello. I have been told that at this club there is no touching, lap dancing, or VIP giving. So, if you come out, be prepared to tip “only in the socks or armbands.” Evidently there’s a strict rule (as in Atlanta) about touching below the waist and above the knee.

I’ve not talked too much about the competitive nature of what I do. I’ve mentioned office drama vaguely. In fact, I’m not sure I’ve ever mentioned it directly at all. Perhaps a few instances here and there of “if you see others doing well, and you’re not, don’t take it personally…” But I don’t recall ever mentioning what the dressing room is like…

It’s definitely dependent on the club and the environment it creates for itself, its patrons, and its staff. PT1109 in Columbia, SC is very friendly, in my opinion. For the most part the patrons are very good natured, the bartenders are supportive of the dancers, the owner is a no-nonsense type of dude, and 90% of the dancers are laid back. Every now and then we get an asshole in there, but they don’t last long at PT1109. That bar is definitely the kind of place where attitude isn’t rewarded much, no matter how big your muscles are.

Conversely, Swinging Richards can sometimes feel like a fucking beauty pageant backstage. What a bunch of stupid drama!! And men have the audacity to call women gossipy?? These straight guys cease being sexy the moment they walk back stage and start talking… ugh! For the most part we all get along very well in Atlanta, or live and let live; however, there are a few guys who should be glad they’re so much bigger than me. There are a few who really need a good, swift kick in the butt. They tend to be the same ones who sabatoge the dancers they don’t like. Gotta watch ‘em…  I’ve also experienced some haters at The Castle in Greenville - former dancers… go figure.

It can be discouraging when you aren’t comfortable with your coworkers. It can get downright ugly when you have good reason to believe someone is actually undermining you on purpose. I know I’ve painted a portrait of myself as someone who is very nice (because I am), but I do not tolerate people being destructive to me in this particular manner. I’ve tolerated other forms of abuse, but I have zero patience for other dancers (or former dancers) doing or saying anything to make me look bad to patrons. Devon to Diva in about 2.3 seconds flat. Miss Thang does know how to raise an eyebrow at a bitchy strippa.

What then do you do? It’s best to first try to talk to the person/people in question, to make certain that there’s not a misunderstanding that can’t be fixed among peers. Most of the time instigators will back off really fast - people know when they’re in the wrong. If polite inquiry doesn’t help, then I start channeling Miss Jackson. I do this so rarely that it tends to accomplish what Southern Charm doesn’t. In only a few instances have I had to speak to a Booking Manager or some other figure of authority.

If you are going to dance at a club or event where there are other dancers, you simply have to accept that there will be competition. Scotty and I have a friendly competition - we stay in shape, we check in with each other, we encourage each other, I tell Scotty if a patron tells me Scotty is hot (and vice versa), and we are happy for each other when either or both do well.

Sadly, competition isn’t always friendly. Some people do not appreciate the value of collaboration. They are too selfish to see that they will do better if everyone on the team looks good. Would you go buy a car at a lot with one nice vehicle and 30 jallopies? Or would you be more likely to go shop at a place where the lot can offer you your choice of sports cars? I guess some strippers are just ignorant. Whatever.

If you find yourself confronted by a destructive dancer, former dancer, patron, staff member… It’s often best to behave better, so that their criticisms look empty. How can anyone believe an ugly-acting person when you yourself are so charming, polite, beguiling, sexy, and friendly to the people who are slandering you. In almost every case I have found that the person hating on you makes himself look way worse than anything he could do to you. In fact, I have had friends of haters come up and tip or compliment me, specifically so that I and others wouldn’t lump them in with the person causing the problem.

Where is the love? It’s in you. It’s also in the people who end up being sympathetic/empathetic to you for being the “victim” of malice. People tend to side with the person targeted, not the person who is being aggressive. You will probably not win people’s minds over by being confrontational. If someone says you’re gross, unattractive, dirty, stupid, whorish, etc., and you get mean… it will, on some level, confirm in the minds of others that you must, after all, be the brutish piece of trash they thought you were. Reasonable people generally can’t help but respond constructively to maturity and positivity.

You know who you are. Forget the haters. The ones you should be most dismissive of (in the kindest manner possible), are the former dancers who wish they were still the center of attention, but are not. These people are acting out because of jealousy. Whatever they are saying about you probably has no basis in reality. Let it go, and keep connecting with the people who do like you (see the flip-side to all this: “Here is the love!”).