Devon Hunter

Tag: kindness

“True You,” by Janet Jackson (part 2 of 3)

by on Feb.28, 2011, under Identity, Positivity

I got this amazing email today, and I wanted to share its spirit with you – I am continuously reminded how good people can be, and I hope this unexpected continuation on “True You” makes you feel as good as it does me. This message was sent in response to “True You, ” by Janet Jackson (part 1 of 3). My response will be part 3.

———-

“Hey young man,

Read your blog. Found myself, as always with anything you write, impressed by your insightfulness, and also a tiny bit sad having glimpsed just a little of the issues that you’ve struggled with over the years and which still inform, and to a certain extent, dictate your decisions and choices even today. I guess I feel that way because I empathize strongly with your predicament. Maybe that’s why I’m so pleased that I got the chance to get to know you. Maybe it’s what compelled me to contact you in the first place; I think perhaps, despite the very obvious differences between us, I sense a kindred spirit.

“My early years were very topsy-turvy on many levels. It left a deep and lasting mark on me and skewed how I saw myself and how I felt others perceived me. I think it’s what led me to make the few and poor boyfriend choices I did, and why even now, I still don’t entirely trust my own judgment on that score and why a lot of the time I use avoidance as my coping strategy!

“It is a challenge every day not to be my own harshest critic, to be pleased with what I’ve achieved that day and not berate myself for what I HAVEN’T achieved. To learn to graciously accept a compliment without immediately looking for an ulterior motive in the person who’s giving it. To value my uniqueness and not compare myself to others.

“Damage to your self  esteem at an early age is not a life long disability, but I think it requires life long rehabilitation.

“I think that’s why, despite it not being what I may have chosen to study had my early years turned out differently, nursing has turned out to be my salvation in some respects. And it’s probably the same reason you are the amazing escort you are. What you say in your advert speaks volumes. You talk about liking people, about although not being a therapist you hope there’s a therapeutic element to your meetings. You hope they get more out of a meeting with you than what they invested from their wallet. You would like to see the same person on many occasions. You don’t like anonymity. That the meetings are less about the sex and more about what it means for a person to be with a person.

“It’s the trials you’ve faced and your ability to deal with adversity that makes you the insightful, empathetic, multifaceted person that you are. And I think that people who have experienced real challenges in their life; who understand how painful and difficult life can be, can sometimes have a deep rooted need  to help other people through  their experiences. I’ve thought about why that might be so, and I think it might be because although we had no control over the situation that damaged us, we CAN exert some control over someone else’s situation and that feeling of empowerment is really important. But also there is the simple truth that every time we help someone else, we are in effect helping ourselves. In helping other people find coping strategies, we are proving to ourselves that there are ways in which we can implement positive change in our own lives. And if these people succeed, then so can we.

“I suspect it’s one of the reasons Janet Jackson wrote her book.

“In ‘The Prophet,’ Kahlil Gibran writes about self knowledge by saying, ‘Your ears thirst for the sound of your heart’s knowledge. You would know in words, that which you have always known in thought.’

“And I believe that’s true, isn’t it? Janet’s book hasn’t told you anything you didn’t already know. It’s simply confirmed it. But it makes us feel better knowing that someone else, especially if it’s someone we really admire, has been through a similar experience and it gives us the confidence and the will to keep trying.

“And that’s why I told you the other day that your potential takes my breath away at times. I know that when you’re feeling low you don’t believe all the good things people are telling you. But that’s when it’s most important that you hear them.”

Love,
A friend who prefers not to be named.
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Fantasy shoot: Dylan Rosser

by on Nov.28, 2010, under Appearance, Fantasies, Spirituality

This is connected to one of my Thanksgiving meditations: “I am maintaining or improving, as well as learning to see and appreciate, the beauty in me that so many others already exalt, and I am humbly luxuriating in that Gift.” We need inspiration to persevere consistently enough to attain our goals, and visualizing the desired result is proven to facilitate its realization.

I know it will sound completely hysterical or melodramatic, but Dylan Rosser‘s work makes my eyes glaze with tears. When you hear people say something akin to, “The human body is the most beautiful machine in the universe,” they must have something like his photography in mind when they say it. Perhaps I am too much of a Toreador (or perhaps it actually is a wonderful suffering that I should enjoy indulging), but agonizing over his images is making me want to concentrate deeply, sleep and eat regularly, and exercise intensely. And isn’t that an expression of something that goes far beyond the superficial motive of looking a certain way? To me it means that I yearn to take care of myself, and that reaching a high level of fitness is a fortunate byproduct of doing so.

Is male beauty only skin deep? The Classical Greeks thought the honing of the body through sport also improved the heart, mind, and soul of the boy in question. The work ethic and commitment needed to achieve prowess and skill, along with the humility youths were expected to express, married external and internal excellence into the ideal we still fantasize about 2,500 years later: The intelligent, kind, beautiful lover. Is it fair to be dismissive and to presume that athletic male beauty MUST equate to something simple, crude, or unrefined? I have often reviled athletes, because they bullied me severely from the time I was six until I was 24 (that is, 24 for the first time). I have often lumped athletic men into the “dumb jock” category, even though I know too many men whose external beauty grows out of a commitment to other forms of excellence for me to reasonably accept this mean cliché. I want to believe that Dylan Rosser’s models are the kindest, smartest, and most enlightened men on the planet. Yes. They must be (even if they’re not). But that is my privilege as the viewer: I can transform these “objects” into anything I want. And I don’t want them to be “just” sex machines. I want them to be artists/scientists and philosophers, too. I want their physical bodies to be the tangible expression of the hearts I am giving them, whether they have them or not.

But I’m a greedy bitch like that.

Click this link to see Dylan Rosser’s website.

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Sex Slavery in Nepal

by on May.18, 2010, under Hurtful episodes, Love, Positivity, Spirituality

Hello,

My name is Devon Hunter, and I saw the CNN story about your organization that helps care for victims of sexual slavery in Nepal. I was deeply moved, both by the generosity of Maiti Nepal and the strength of spirit in the girls and women who have survived brutality. I want to help financially, and I know how to find the information for your bank account on your website. I plan to donate, but I have a specific question first: What is the annual cost of providing food, shelter, medical care, therapy, and job training for a patient for a full year? I would like, in my mind, to know that there is a single person out there with whom I have connected, even if I never know her name or see her face. If you could please give me the estimated total for this, I will then make arrangements to give what I can toward the goal of helping “my special girl” each year.

Thank you for the kindness you give to the world,

Devon Hunter

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First time for everything: That’s what friends are for.

by on May.03, 2010, under Hurtful episodes, Love

An acquaintance I’ve had for some years and who has always been attracted to me has just set up an appointment. His boyfriend hurt him and they broke up, and he needs to splurge on himself. And he has chosen to do that with me. He says I have always turned him on, and that I’ve always been kind to him. So when he was trying to figure out what to do to pamper himself, I came immediately to mind.

I am going to cook dinner for him afterward. He needs to be taken care of, and having known him for five years, I can honestly say that I am happy to do it for him. He is a good soul, and I want him to feel better.

For me there is no issue doing an appointment with him, though he is nervous it will change our interaction. I have not spent much time with him in person, and so I believe he is over-thinking all this. At any rate, I’ve never been hired by someone whom I knew personally before my foray into this life. I’m rather intrigued by it!

I just want him to feel better.

EDIT:

He just left. All we did was talk and hold hands. It’s what he needed, and I’m glad he trusted me with some of what he was sharing for the first time with anyone in his life.

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“This Is It” & having the best Mom EVER

by on Oct.28, 2009, under Love, Positivity, Spirituality

I just got back from seeing the midnight screening of Michael Jackson’s “This Is It.” You really must see it… He was such a funny person. I love his artistry. I love his humanity. It was a wonderful production, and that the performances never happened before audiences is really a shame.

Tonight I got a post on my Pimpology entry from Mom. She has interacted here on the site some, but not for a while, and I’d forgotten she reads what I post. At any rate, I wanted to take a moment to acknowledge how very lucky I am to have the family I have. They never discouraged me when I said I wanted to be a choreographer; they never doubted any of my ideas or plans; they never even implied that my being gay was remotely an issue (except at first there was a concern for my safety in the rural South, but it wasn’t an issue of being disowned); and they never judged me for making the career choices I made (since they know me, and know that I have very good reasons/intentions for going in various directions)…

My mother (and many people probably think this as well, but I know I’m right – HA!) is the single most amazing human being I’ve ever known. She is patient, generous, selfless, kind, and thoughtful. She is sensitive, intelligent, and creative. And I’m not the only person who thinks so. Mom is the kind of person that you want to love, and you want her to love you back, because she’s so talented at it. She doesn’t try to be all of this – she is simply good, and she’s adept at encouraging it in others. She is beautiful, on many levels… though I never appreciated her strange diet fads, until I was older and started experimenting with my own. She may never live down that bowl of cold apple juice with brown rice and bananas… ;)

Perhaps it’s a gay stereotype to deify one’s mother, but Mom reminds me of The Mother. I don’t want to imply that I think my mother is perfect, because that would render her less human. My primary fear for my mother is that she is too kind for this world. There are so many people who do not deserve the pleasure of having known her. However,  I am glad she is here with us, and I definitely think that if more people built their houses around the pre-existing trees on their lots, took time to trim rose bushes on a daily basis, chose kindness before revenge, ate almost exclusively raw fruits and veggies, illustrated children’s books/sewed stuffed animals from scratch for their kids and grandkids, and used a large glass of water and/or tea tree oil as the first choice for almost any complaint that needs a remedy… well… the world would be a better place.

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