Devon Hunter

Today I am 34 years old… wait, no. I’m 23, as I said in the RentMen video interview. I forgot (old age will do that to you).

At any rate, today is the first day of the new year in my belief system (one’s birthday/naming day is the beginning of personal years, whereas Samhain/Halloween is the new year for everyone as a community), and I am looking forward to some exciting times. I hope you are all healthy, happy, safe, and sound.

Happy Birthday to me!

Okay, so women do Kegels to keep their hoohaws tight after giving birth… they gotta keep the menzes interested… and now you rampantly receptive gay boiz/boys/men/guys/dudes/bros can see the same benefits of tightening your ninny stamp, even after shoving fists, traffic cones, and other sizable fetish objects inside your bums.

This is what I do to keep up appearance downstairs (though I have to say I’m too shy to try any of the more exotic toys and techniques during playtime)… Too many trips up and down into the cellar will eventually knock the door right off the hinges. You have to make sure you maintain your entryway properly. And it never hurts to have a cute little button of a doorbell right at the center of the portal.

At any random time, but particularly after intercourse, you will need to rapidly squeeze your punani. We will be doing 100 repetitions in a short time. Follow this regimen of repetitions at first, but experiment with various patterns and rhythms to keep it interesting (e.g. music, songs, Morse code, etc.). If I have my Morse card and enough time to remember it, I like to learn to do the squeeze-rhythms required to press a man’s own name into the shaft of his penis.

Anyway, here are Devon’s Basic 100 Gay Kegels:

1 – 90 tiny, shallow repetitions as fast as you can flutter them without interruption or rest: ENDURANCE, FAST TWITCH, LIGHT TEXTURE

91 – 99 firmer presses that also allow for wider opening between squeezes, but not squeezing shut or clamping down. Think of these as a middle note in the chord, neither the top nor the bottom. These should be held longer and longer as you go (e.g. 91 = hold for 1 second, 92 = hold for 2 seconds, 93 = hold for 3 seconds, etc): ENDURANCE, RESILIENCE, FIRM TEXTURE

100 is a single repetition with 10 parts. At the end of 99 you have held the tone for 9 seconds. When you relax and your o-ring expands, you then clamp down a moment later as hard as you can, squeezing harder and harder, without releasing, for each second for a count of 10. Around 5 you should feel it up into your lower bowels, and with each accumulated crushing squeeze after that you should feel the need to almost coil your torso into a ball. Keep breathing. Pulling your anus shut shouldn’t necessarily force you to stop breathing, but it may feel like it could. Resist that. Breathe. ENDURANCE, GRIPPING, MILKING TEXTURE.

When you are done, allow for light breathing through the nostrils and fluttering in the o-ring. Listen to some Mozart, drink a short glass of sparkling wine, and enjoy a bite of marzipan almond. Eh voila: My technique for keeping your tender button shiny and polished, even if it feels like it may be getting dented from time to time.

I get a massage almost weekly without exception. I need them. Between working out, dancing, traveling, and life I have to. I don’t have health insurance, so I have to take care of myself with exercise, diet, and massage. I intend to add a bit more cardio to my life, and I am going to (at some point finally) add yoga back in as well. I really cannot recommed enough that you find a massage therapist with a healing touch.

And how can I not share that with someone who needs it? A friend has been in pain. Finally last night I convinced him to go with me. I got mine done, and then he laid on the table after me. It was so gratifying to see the changes in his body taking place as Ron worked the knots, kinks, locks, blocks, and regrets out of my friend’s back, legs, arms, neck, and feet. I felt like I’d done a double-session, just by watching the second hour. I was surprised at how nice it was just to watch the process that I find so healing.

Today my friend is smiling, breathing, laughing… He always does this, of course; however, today he is doing it with a levity of spirit. And that is really amazing. Both because he feels better, but because I do too. I really enjoyed doing this for him, and I hope I can keep tripping over little ways to give back to the people who feed my spirit.

Have you ever had a day that was just… perfect? I mean, everyone and everything about it was exactly as you would have wanted?? I totally had that type of day today, and it was SO appreciated… I know I can talk alot (I’m the Mouth of the South), but I’ve been trying to keep my entries to only 500 words. A brief recap?

• Got a great night’s sleep with my kitty cuddled under my arm all night
• Woke up in the mood to do something random and nice
• Lazed about in bed figuring out what to do, and for whom to do it
• Ordered flowers for the first time and had them delivered to someone’s place of business
• Put a chunk of cash on retainer with my mechanic, so that when/if I need more work on the car, I’m okay
• Paid off my John Hardy diamond pendant
• Put a down payment on a present to myself (remember in my video interview when I said I liked diamonds and chocolate?? Sheesh!)
• Got to spend nearly an hour with a thoroughly charming girl at the Aveda store while getting some product to remain 24 indefinitely (or, is it 23 next year?)
• Spoke briefly but happily with the recipient of the flowers
• Spoke briefly but happily with my lovely friend Jennifer
• Went to see “Avatar” in 3D, and it is one of the best pieces of film in cinematic history!
• Got a nice massage, and now my left side feels better (I am having trouble with my left triceps/shoulder/scapula, lower back, and left thigh/knee/calf)
• Will now go read myself to sleep

And now I am sharing it with you, hoping that you, too, have excellent days to come. I hope, going into the high celebration of the season, that you will be healthy, happy, safe, and secure. Please take good care of yourself while you are enjoying the celebrations, and remember to spread the joy you feel (or to accept the joy that others try to give you)!

Hi Devon,

Thank you,
Love
Bastian

Dear Bastian,

I am sorry to hear that your heart is hurting. It feels like you’ve been struck by a wrecking ball, I’m sure, and I wish I could snap my fingers and make it stop. There really isn’t much anyone can do or say to make that internal collapsing go away: Time alone will rebuild your foundation. I won’t say that I hope you heal soon, because grief is a process with many steps that all have to be experienced in their proper order, but I will say that I hope you heal completely.

And yet there is good to be taken from this. You gave something very special to Oliver. It says something positive about you that you were willing to take that risk, and I hope you won’t repeat my mistake and cling to bitterness. Time cures, but in the meantime you have to remember to live well without Oliver. You are not responsible for him. You are responsible for you. And it doesn’t matter why he has made the series of choices he has made, it matters only that you acknowledge and move on.

Since I have been in your position many times I can completely empathize with what are probably feelings of anger, sadness, betrayal, loss, and confusion. And I know that it can be overwhelming. But I also know that if you are strong enough to give of yourself to others, that you are strong enough to give of yourself to yourself.

Feed your soul with friends and family. Immerse yourself in the hobbies and passtimes that make you happy. Embrace your pain process, and then let that energy go back out to the Universe. There is a whole support system out there waiting for you, so please do not make the mistake I made so many times: Do not isolate yourself out of fear. Take time to yourself when you need it, but remember to come back out of your dark cave and be warmed in the light of the other types of love that the people in your life WANT to share with you.

I wish you peace,

Devon