Devon Hunter

I get a massage almost weekly without exception. I need them. Between working out, dancing, traveling, and life I have to. I don’t have health insurance, so I have to take care of myself with exercise, diet, and massage. I intend to add a bit more cardio to my life, and I am going to (at some point finally) add yoga back in as well. I really cannot recommed enough that you find a massage therapist with a healing touch.

And how can I not share that with someone who needs it? A friend has been in pain. Finally last night I convinced him to go with me. I got mine done, and then he laid on the table after me. It was so gratifying to see the changes in his body taking place as Ron worked the knots, kinks, locks, blocks, and regrets out of my friend’s back, legs, arms, neck, and feet. I felt like I’d done a double-session, just by watching the second hour. I was surprised at how nice it was just to watch the process that I find so healing.

Today my friend is smiling, breathing, laughing… He always does this, of course; however, today he is doing it with a levity of spirit. And that is really amazing. Both because he feels better, but because I do too. I really enjoyed doing this for him, and I hope I can keep tripping over little ways to give back to the people who feed my spirit.

Have you ever had a day that was just… perfect? I mean, everyone and everything about it was exactly as you would have wanted?? I totally had that type of day today, and it was SO appreciated… I know I can talk alot (I’m the Mouth of the South), but I’ve been trying to keep my entries to only 500 words. A brief recap?

• Got a great night’s sleep with my kitty cuddled under my arm all night
• Woke up in the mood to do something random and nice
• Lazed about in bed figuring out what to do, and for whom to do it
• Ordered flowers for the first time and had them delivered to someone’s place of business
• Put a chunk of cash on retainer with my mechanic, so that when/if I need more work on the car, I’m okay
• Paid off my John Hardy diamond pendant
• Put a down payment on a present to myself (remember in my video interview when I said I liked diamonds and chocolate?? Sheesh!)
• Got to spend nearly an hour with a thoroughly charming girl at the Aveda store while getting some product to remain 24 indefinitely (or, is it 23 next year?)
• Spoke briefly but happily with the recipient of the flowers
• Spoke briefly but happily with my lovely friend Jennifer
• Went to see “Avatar” in 3D, and it is one of the best pieces of film in cinematic history!
• Got a nice massage, and now my left side feels better (I am having trouble with my left triceps/shoulder/scapula, lower back, and left thigh/knee/calf)
• Will now go read myself to sleep

And now I am sharing it with you, hoping that you, too, have excellent days to come. I hope, going into the high celebration of the season, that you will be healthy, happy, safe, and secure. Please take good care of yourself while you are enjoying the celebrations, and remember to spread the joy you feel (or to accept the joy that others try to give you)!

Hi Devon,

Thank you,
Love
Bastian

Dear Bastian,

I am sorry to hear that your heart is hurting. It feels like you’ve been struck by a wrecking ball, I’m sure, and I wish I could snap my fingers and make it stop. There really isn’t much anyone can do or say to make that internal collapsing go away: Time alone will rebuild your foundation. I won’t say that I hope you heal soon, because grief is a process with many steps that all have to be experienced in their proper order, but I will say that I hope you heal completely.

And yet there is good to be taken from this. You gave something very special to Oliver. It says something positive about you that you were willing to take that risk, and I hope you won’t repeat my mistake and cling to bitterness. Time cures, but in the meantime you have to remember to live well without Oliver. You are not responsible for him. You are responsible for you. And it doesn’t matter why he has made the series of choices he has made, it matters only that you acknowledge and move on.

Since I have been in your position many times I can completely empathize with what are probably feelings of anger, sadness, betrayal, loss, and confusion. And I know that it can be overwhelming. But I also know that if you are strong enough to give of yourself to others, that you are strong enough to give of yourself to yourself.

Feed your soul with friends and family. Immerse yourself in the hobbies and passtimes that make you happy. Embrace your pain process, and then let that energy go back out to the Universe. There is a whole support system out there waiting for you, so please do not make the mistake I made so many times: Do not isolate yourself out of fear. Take time to yourself when you need it, but remember to come back out of your dark cave and be warmed in the light of the other types of love that the people in your life WANT to share with you.

I wish you peace,

Devon

This may at first come across as a vulgar and gratuitously sexual entry; however, if you will bear with me, I will tell you why I have chosen to write it…

Yesterday I was drowning in one of my pools of emotion. I have climbed out of it much quicker than I normally do when I am mired in whatever mud my rivers churn up within me. I am not apologizing, because my emotions are part of who I am.

I spoke for an hour with my friend Jen, and we realized that I’m getting better at reining in my stallions, but that I need to focus on matching the level of my response to that which is appropriate. That isn’t to say that I am wrong to unleash the cavalry, but that I need to be more careful about when and to what degree I rattle the sabers. Almost a year ago Allen taught me to avoid scorched earth, and now I’m realizing the value of a gradated scale of alert at the airport.

Be that as it may, I then went into the normal tailspin of shame afterward for not having better control over myself; however, this time I did something special to make me feel better. I have commented on the types of touch I perceive, and after a bad day, I realized that I needed some sexual healing. (continues below video)

I went to Matt’s house almost too drained to even want to go, despite the fact that if there were ever someone I have met who should be in porn but isn’t… it is this boy. He is a fuck machine. He has blonde hair and blue eyes, a super lean body with compact and defined muscles, a cute face, an exquisite ass, and a huge dick. This 23-year-old boy was made for fucking, and he can do it for for hours. He can’t get enough! Just what the doctor ordered.

I always enjoy watching our sex in the mirror, because he is so responsive to small flicks here and deep kisses there. He writhes and moans, and is generally exceedingly flattering to my ego. But I was still just a tad distracted…

Until I caught my own eyes in the mirror and saw that I had finally connected to the moment. Between trying to suck my cock right off my body (and then trying to rip it off with his butt) I had no choice but to take the plunge… My survival was at stake! LOL

After a very long time he finally exploded into the most beautiful orgasm. His fair skin blushed red and he simpered like a little puppy. He is precious. So it was my turn, and I requested that he sit on my face while I masturbated to finish.

And then, in that precise moment, it finally occurred to me. While the mean-spirited cellar gnomes who had upset me so badly were in their little huts, groveling away over their computer screens about my latest controversy, I had a beautiful boy’s asshole in my mouth while I was jetting cum everywhere. And suddenly… those horrible people didn’t matter. They don’t matter. At all. They. Don’t. Matter.

What matters is the connection you make with people who hold you dear, and that this connection is one that nurtures you. I do not regret defending my friend. I do not regret being upset for what is happening to him. But my friend is the one who matters, not the dickhead who is bothering him. That boy last night who thinks I’m the sexiest man he’s ever met: He matters. The clients who experience joy, because they have spent quality time with me: They matter. My family matters. My cat matters.

Assholes don’t matter (unless they’re attached to the beautiful boy sitting on your face).

C-Money’s turn to scold me about not blogging enough… SAWWY!!

Okay, in my young gay life I have managed to achieve orgasm while wearing a condom only two times. I use condoms with increasing frequency (I have definitely improved DRASTICALLY since I last blogged about this), approaching, I’d guess, 95% now. I am very proud of this. It has taken me years to develop the discipline, self-esteem, and hope/optimism to invest in this practice. I’m not perfect by any means, but I am so much better than I was that I wanted to brag a little.

At any rate, something happened about an hour ago that I have never experienced before: I was able to achieve an orgasm while wearing a condom WHILE I WAS MASTURBATING.

I bought some Durex Avanti BARE, because the SKYN and Pleasure Plus were out at the local drug store. I like SKYN and Pleasure Plus, because they don’t have latex in them (and I think that has made a world of difference for me personally: I think the latex hurts/irritates me). I bought a 3-pack of the Durex Avanti BARE, because I wasn’t sure I’d like them and didn’t want to buy a dozen. Inside, one was free and the other two were attached to each other. When I tried to separate the two, the packaging ripped open for one of them.

Damn.

So I decided to see what I might expect once I use them. I got myself hard, put it on, and started to stroke myself. I could actually feel the warmth of my hand! I am not going to say that it was like wearing nothing, but I’d never been able to achieve that degree of sensation before in a condom. So I decided to see how far I could get. I had to stop and start a few times, gradually building towards an orgasm, but then I actually made myself cum!

OMG! This is so exciting!!

I have always loathed condoms. Their texture, scent, and nearly debilitating squeeze made sex feel like nothing, when I could maintain an erection at all. I started using the SKYN and the Pleasure Plus, and they were marked improvements (I even came once while being the insertive partner while wearing a Pleasure Plus - never yet with SKYN); however, I wasn’t all that excited about them. But now? OMG! I almost wanna get on Manhunt now, just so I can test drive one of these bad boys with a real person…

So: I highly recommend Durex Avanti BARE, especially used in conjunction with Astroglide Natural lubrication and moisturizer (a new product I bought today with the consistency of Platinum Wet that contains aloe, vitamin C, vitamin E, and plant/fruit/flower extracts, but no glycerin, alchohol, fragrance, flavoring, or hormones). The two together are not exactly like nothing, but the combination sure as hell beats anything else I’ve ever tried!