Devon Hunter

From The Bonnie Blue's Flickr stream

Hi Devon,

Writing this e-mail feels a little strange, mainly because it’s not what I was expecting to say to you at all.

I had intended to relay the curious tale of how a straight white Scottish girl (me!) found herself perusing the web-page of an intelligent, funny, erudite and thought provoking gay guy from America. But now, having read the sad news of the loss of your beloved grandfather, I think that it should remain a story for another day. For now, I just wanted to say how very sorry I am for your loss. I know that nothing much can help at the moment. So often people talk about how to cope with this kind of situation. I have found that you don’t so much cope as simply endure. But endurance requires courage, tenacity, strength of character, foresight, insight and an unshakable belief that it will, in the end, be worth it. That life will get better again.

From the very little I know of you through your own writings and through the testimony of others who have written to you and about you, I have no doubt that you have these personal qualities and attributes in abundance, and I suspect many other virtues which I, as yet, know nothing of. And this reassures me that through your own efforts, and with the help and support of your family and friends, you will make it through this difficult time, and, as it would seem you have done during other times in your life, you will find something positive and life affirming within the sadness.

Keeping you in my thoughts,
Love Helen
xXx

PS

I don’t know if you have heard of/read someone named Kahlil Gibran (especially his book The Prophet – not at all religious I promise, just incredibly spiritual and affecting). Anyway, he wrote this, and somehow I thought it spoke directly to your situation. Hope it helps even a little.

“Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding.”
- Kahlil Gibran

"Snowheart," by Susan Tuttle of www.ilkasattic.blogspot.com

Hi Helen,

Helen, Helen, HELEN! I don’t know what I did to deserve an email like that, but I am crying. And in a very good way. That couldn’t be any more eloquent, generous, or beautiful. I had fallen from my 7-week spiritual high, what with Grampa’s passing and some of the dysfunction I’d seen within my family last week. I’d sunk into funk these last 10 days. I hadn’t been sleeping or eating (which makes me confrontational), and it was all compounding into depression. I know me, and I can’t let that happen.

This morning, I was laying in bed focusing on how GOOD my life is, how WONDERFUL it is. (I have more to be grateful for than almost anyone I know!) I went through my Wellness Affirmations from this past Thanksgiving, really absorbing them again, trying to haul myself back into being whole by re-examining my Perfect Meditation from a couple weeks ago. I needed to re-achieve “wellness” and “whole,” so that the rest of the meditation would follow. But I kept stopping at the last part: I am happy.

I stumbled on it repeatedly. It felt disrespectful to say or feel it; however, I know that Grampa wouldn’t want me to be unhappy. He would never want that – he would want me to be invigorated by his memory, not miserable in his loss. I walked over to pick up a well-timed delivery of chocolate from a friend in Boston, and as I crunched toward the leasing office I got through saying “I am happy” several times. It was as if the ice veneer snapping under my feet had cracked open specifically to erupt with the fluffy white powder underneath (just for my entertainment!). It was like tiptoeing on crème brûlée, and how can THAT not be fabulous? I don’t understand the minutiae making it true, but saying “I am happy” within explodes “I am happy” without.

I am happy! (*step; crunch; puff of snow; smile…)

And then I get this email… just in the nick of time. Just as that initial excitement was calming back down. Being neutral is balanced, but I was falling down past neutral. I want to post this on my blog, because I want people to see specifically how reaching out and doing something kind (even to strangers!) creates a fracturing effect: Love breaks sadness. It is real. I am so happy you wrote to me, and I didn’t even know you existed until now. What if all introductions could be like this?? What hardness could be broken, so that softness could erupt?

This is amazing: Even before you shared the Gibran quote, that cracking shell imagery was already at work in my head today while walking outside in the snow. There are no coincidences. Thanks again for taking the time to write me something so helpful and inspiring. I also want to thank everyone else who, whether publicly or privately, has sent me encouragement and sympathy. Please know that it matters. It really does, and I am grateful to be the recipient of your good will.

I hope you are well,
Love Devon
xXx

In “The Master Key System,” Charles Haanel asserts that “when Truth appears every form of error or discord must necessarily disappear.” He created a mantra that touches every aspect of self improvement:

“I am whole, perfect, strong, powerful, loving, harmonious, and happy.”

Wow! Now THAT is saying something worth saying. But I was having a helluva time remembering it, which made it a mantra I couldn’t repeat without stumbling…

So I approached it as if I were still an educator, and I was my own pupil. I realized that this list is a hierarchy of need (with wholeness as the foundation upon which all other expressions of positivity rest). With this in mind I created the following explanation for myself, and now I can recite The Perfect Affirmation just fine:

• Being whole implies not only totality and completeness, but also integration and proper function. If all seven components of wellness (click here to see them) are balanced, then wholeness is achieved. This wholeness then becomes synonymous with perfection.
• Perfection is not static (because life isn’t either!), and although we can be perfect one moment we may not be the next. Evolving constantly within wholeness recreates new incarnations of perfection.
• All this evolving requires endurance and determination, so when we establish periods of perfection (and thus wholeness), we are using the expanding strength endowed to us.
• The ability to focus and use strength to create change is, in itself, what defines power: Powerful people create change, both within themselves and throughout the world.
• The most powerful emotions are love and fear; however, fear cannot come from the “wholeness->perfection->strength->power” chain reaction. This must mean that being whole leads to being loving. If you feel fear, as opposed to love, then something is askew. Make your adjustments in the circuit, and let the love flow, baby!
• Whereas fear is ultimately going to create noise/frustration/struggle, love is a source of harmony unto itself. But remember this: Harmony is not playing the same note as what already exists. That would simply be layering the note that already reverberates. Harmony adds something different, but constructive and augmenting. YOU add something meaningful when you are whole->perfect->strong->powerful->loving. When you are harmonious, you don’t sing middle-C when someone else sings middle-C. You sing Eb/E, F/F#, G, or Ab/A. You bring something synergistic to what is already happening.
• Extending the musical metaphor for a moment: Harmony is the part of a song or composition that augments the melody and makes you feel something positive beyond the basic good. It’s what adds dimension to the melody. Have you ever heard a song that makes your face crack open with a smile because of a moment that feels so luscious? That’s the happy that grows out of the harmony (which grew out of the love, which grew out of the power, which grew out of the strength, which grew out of the perfection, which grew out of the wholeness).

Whew! Well… For what it’s worth: Makes sense to me…

Okay, so women do Kegels to keep their hoohaws tight after giving birth… they gotta keep the menzes interested… and now you rampantly receptive gay boiz/boys/men/guys/dudes/bros can see the same benefits of tightening your ninny stamp, even after shoving fists, traffic cones, and other sizable fetish objects inside your bums.

This is what I do to keep up appearance downstairs (though I have to say I’m too shy to try any of the more exotic toys and techniques during playtime)… Too many trips up and down into the cellar will eventually knock the door right off the hinges. You have to make sure you maintain your entryway properly. And it never hurts to have a cute little button of a doorbell right at the center of the portal.

At any random time, but particularly after intercourse, you will need to rapidly squeeze your punani. We will be doing 100 repetitions in a short time. Follow this regimen of repetitions at first, but experiment with various patterns and rhythms to keep it interesting (e.g. music, songs, Morse code, etc.). If I have my Morse card and enough time to remember it, I like to learn to do the squeeze-rhythms required to press a man’s own name into the shaft of his penis.

Anyway, here are Devon’s Basic 100 Gay Kegels:

1 – 90 tiny, shallow repetitions as fast as you can flutter them without interruption or rest: ENDURANCE, FAST TWITCH, LIGHT TEXTURE

91 – 99 firmer presses that also allow for wider opening between squeezes, but not squeezing shut or clamping down. Think of these as a middle note in the chord, neither the top nor the bottom. These should be held longer and longer as you go (e.g. 91 = hold for 1 second, 92 = hold for 2 seconds, 93 = hold for 3 seconds, etc): ENDURANCE, RESILIENCE, FIRM TEXTURE

100 is a single repetition with 10 parts. At the end of 99 you have held the tone for 9 seconds. When you relax and your o-ring expands, you then clamp down a moment later as hard as you can, squeezing harder and harder, without releasing, for each second for a count of 10. Around 5 you should feel it up into your lower bowels, and with each accumulated crushing squeeze after that you should feel the need to almost coil your torso into a ball. Keep breathing. Pulling your anus shut shouldn’t necessarily force you to stop breathing, but it may feel like it could. Resist that. Breathe. ENDURANCE, GRIPPING, MILKING TEXTURE.

When you are done, allow for light breathing through the nostrils and fluttering in the o-ring. Listen to some Mozart, drink a short glass of sparkling wine, and enjoy a bite of marzipan almond. Eh voila: My technique for keeping your tender button shiny and polished, even if it feels like it may be getting dented from time to time.

I get a massage almost weekly without exception. I need them. Between working out, dancing, traveling, and life I have to. I don’t have health insurance, so I have to take care of myself with exercise, diet, and massage. I intend to add a bit more cardio to my life, and I am going to (at some point finally) add yoga back in as well. I really cannot recommed enough that you find a massage therapist with a healing touch.

And how can I not share that with someone who needs it? A friend has been in pain. Finally last night I convinced him to go with me. I got mine done, and then he laid on the table after me. It was so gratifying to see the changes in his body taking place as Ron worked the knots, kinks, locks, blocks, and regrets out of my friend’s back, legs, arms, neck, and feet. I felt like I’d done a double-session, just by watching the second hour. I was surprised at how nice it was just to watch the process that I find so healing.

Today my friend is smiling, breathing, laughing… He always does this, of course; however, today he is doing it with a levity of spirit. And that is really amazing. Both because he feels better, but because I do too. I really enjoyed doing this for him, and I hope I can keep tripping over little ways to give back to the people who feed my spirit.

Have you ever had a day that was just… perfect? I mean, everyone and everything about it was exactly as you would have wanted?? I totally had that type of day today, and it was SO appreciated… I know I can talk alot (I’m the Mouth of the South), but I’ve been trying to keep my entries to only 500 words. A brief recap?

• Got a great night’s sleep with my kitty cuddled under my arm all night
• Woke up in the mood to do something random and nice
• Lazed about in bed figuring out what to do, and for whom to do it
• Ordered flowers for the first time and had them delivered to someone’s place of business
• Put a chunk of cash on retainer with my mechanic, so that when/if I need more work on the car, I’m okay
• Paid off my John Hardy diamond pendant
• Put a down payment on a present to myself (remember in my video interview when I said I liked diamonds and chocolate?? Sheesh!)
• Got to spend nearly an hour with a thoroughly charming girl at the Aveda store while getting some product to remain 24 indefinitely (or, is it 23 next year?)
• Spoke briefly but happily with the recipient of the flowers
• Spoke briefly but happily with my lovely friend Jennifer
• Went to see “Avatar” in 3D, and it is one of the best pieces of film in cinematic history!
• Got a nice massage, and now my left side feels better (I am having trouble with my left triceps/shoulder/scapula, lower back, and left thigh/knee/calf)
• Will now go read myself to sleep

And now I am sharing it with you, hoping that you, too, have excellent days to come. I hope, going into the high celebration of the season, that you will be healthy, happy, safe, and secure. Please take good care of yourself while you are enjoying the celebrations, and remember to spread the joy you feel (or to accept the joy that others try to give you)!