Devon Hunter

Today I am 34 years old… wait, no. I’m 23, as I said in the RentMen video interview. I forgot (old age will do that to you).

At any rate, today is the first day of the new year in my belief system (one’s birthday/naming day is the beginning of personal years, whereas Samhain/Halloween is the new year for everyone as a community), and I am looking forward to some exciting times. I hope you are all healthy, happy, safe, and sound.

Happy Birthday to me!

Last night I had a fantastic party at my place. Friends, family, and neighbors all came over to see my apartment, and we did some early birthday celebrating. I really felt surrounded by happiness. It wasn’t a housewarming as much as it was a heartwarming. I know some pretty fucking awesome people, and I hope you do as well.

I am writing this specifically for the people (friends, family, clients, acquaintances, readers, etc.) who have been calling, emailing, and texting. I have tried to reply to each individual, because I don’t want people worrying about me; however, it’s hard to keep up with the outpouring of support. It’s amazing to have so many people express that. It really is. Thank you!

I want you all to know, if you ever doubted it, that I am made of pretty strong stuff. I apologize if my recent blogging has created a “conversation” in the broader blogosphere that has upset you or caused you worry. I am doing perfectly fine, and I embrace you (even if I haven’t been able to say it to you directly).

It will be in other parties’ interest to make me look as bad as possible (in the eventuality of further action), but my testament is still posted here without revisions. Hopefully THAT tells you what you need to know. I wish you well, and thank you for your encouragement.

NOTE:

If you care to pose alternative observations to those I state on my blog, you are welcome and invited to submit your comments ON THE CONDITION THAT YOU REMAIN CIVIL. I have heard through friends that I am being criticized for not allowing more contrary discussion here. Let me be frank: This is MY blog, and it has a purpose. That purpose is not to allow anonymous strangers to vomit acid all over me. If you care to join the discussion from a different perspective, please do so with intelligence and a calm voice. If you recontextualize your comments within a framework of dialogue, rather than hysterical ranting, I will be quite happy to approve your comments.

For those who have been here a while, you will know that I am a spiritual person. And the season is about to change yet again. Here we are! Tomorrow is the longest day of the year, and it couldn’t have come any sooner (given some of the dark and stormy moods I’ve been in these last few days). To celebrate this fresh, new summer I have decided to post a video that I really love. Natasha Bedingfield is a fabulous singer and song writer - the mood and theme of “Unwritten” are so absolutely perfect for my current situation, and it seems like an obvious summer anthem. I also celebrated today by having some incredible chocolates, which I will describe for you after these sunny moments with Natasha:

Remember: We create our own realities, so choose happiness! YAY!

Okay, now to the important bidnizz at hand: CHOCOLATE.

While the rest of the gay porn microcosm is slashing its face open over my comments about gay-for-pay videos, I have been out walking in the breezy sunhine in San Francisco. I had a beautiful lunch at my 5-star hotel, walked the two peaceful labyrinths at Grace Cathedral, and then stumbled upon a little gem of a boutique. It’s called Christopher Elbow: Artisanal Chocolate. I knew the Goddess loved me: She guided me to heaven.

Located at 401 Hayes Street, the store is set up like a trendy cafe or bar. The handmade treats are served on beautiful dishes, and there are hot drinks to choose from as well. But let’s not get distracted by all the frills, what matters here is the chocolate. I had already had tiramisu for dessert at lunch, but fuck it. THESE ARE HANDMADE (plus the tiramisu was artisanal too, so it’s good for the soul, especially these last couple days). I chose four flavors that I’d not tried before, and I was moved to write about each of them (click to enlarge):

The first chocolate I put in my mouth was Jasmine Tea. High-quality chocolate should nearly immediately revert to a thick liquid when you start chewing it. This one melted beautifully, and the earthiness of the chocolate was lightened by the floral tea and flower aromas. I found that letting this one rest in the mouth overly long cancelled out the delicate nature of the Jasmine, so, if you try one, I suggest swallowing it before the high notes are subsumed again by the chocolate.

Next I sampled the Venezuelan Spice, because I thought it would be a dramatic shift from the Jasmine Tea. Boy, was I ever spot on!! The richness of this flavor builds extremely slowly. In addition to the chile oil, there is also spice (I want to say cinnamon, nutmeg, and clove). Immediately there is the richness of the chocolate blending with what tastes a bit like pumpkin pie; however, when you savor this one it builds in volume and gets more complex. Gradually the chile begins to be released and over several moments you get not only flavor but temperature. It is subtle, so you don’t have to fear being scalded, but after I swallowed this chocolate it aggressively kept playing its song. I had to wait several minutes before my palate was ready to move on. The chile and spice lingers even longer than the chocolate, which is fine, since it all so well balanced.

I knew I needed another total aboutface, so I went with a flavor I’d never even considered as a possibility before: Lemongrass. My experience with lemongrass is taking it as a rather revolting shooter along with protein shakes. It tastes like mushed up green dirt when it comes out of the pressing machine, so I was interested to see how this would work. And you know what?? THIS IS WHAT SUMMER TASTES LIKE. OMG! It was like the sun had come up in my mouth. There is dawn in this bonbon! The chocolate itself was brightened from a deep tone to a medium, and the lemongrass floated on top like a greenish yellow light. Just magnificent. It made me break into a smile. This is happiness. HAPPY SOLSTICE!

Okay, I had saved what I thought would be the most evocative (or at least most interesting) for last, but after Lemongrass I was wondering how that would work. I have to say: My instinct is always right. Despite how wonderful the first three were, Caramel Rosemary was definitely both the most interesting and the most unexpectedly satisfying. Honestly, I thought it was going to be rather disgusting, yet curiously artistic and thus acceptable enough as a flavor experiment. Oh, no, no, no, no… This can’t be real: The shell of chocolate imploded unexpectedly as the LIQUID carmel exploded outward in a rush of rosemary and buttery sugar. I thought it was going to be a chew, not a gush! Before I was ready, my mouth was full of salty sweet yummy stuff (stop being a pervert), and all these discordant separate flavors quickly started assembling themselves in a perfect chord. It was like a symphony warming up and then playing the first note. I was laughing out loud. Just marvelous. The caramel sustains the flavor profile beyond what the rosemary would have done on its own, and the chocolate provides a consistent bass/base for the herbed sweetness to dance on top of. Just marvelous. I would do a whole box of those. Anytime, anyplace. Bring it, baby. I ain’t askeered…

OMG! If you live in or visit Houston, TX any time the Symphony is performing with Cirque de la Symphonie, you must, Must, MUST, M-U-S-T go see a concert. This performance is part of the “Pops” series, and thus all the music is “popular,” in the sense that even if you know “nothing” about classical music you would probably recognize some of the melodies. Well, as a dancer, I am more than a little familiar with classical, and it was still an absolute joy.

I am so, so, so gay. I really am. And I love it. I was crying (as in, tears streaming down my face with utter joy) for the first half of the first act. The program focused on Russian composers (and that isn’t a complaint), but there were also four short selections from “Carmen,” as well as some of Saint-Saen’s more familiar outtakes. And all of it was performed with spot-on enthusiasm by a polished orechestra under the direction of a clever conductor. I absolutely adore live music, and this was a real treat (especially given the wonderful accoustics of the Houston Symphony’s facility).

But I am a dancer/choreographer, and (for me) all of this sound and architecture was merely the incidental accompanyment for the Cirque de la Symphonie. How wonderful! There were women aerialists who used frames, ropes, and bolts of silk to fly through the air (and one magnificent blonde lady was not only twisting and rolling through space and thirty feet in the air without nets, she was also inverted near the ceiling in contortionist shapes WHILE PLAYING THE LEAD VIOLIN PARTS). There was a funny juggler, a man who twirled a huge cube, another man who used bolts of silk to fly out over the audience, a hand balancer, and a male duo who lifted each other and transitioned into various incredibly balanced shapes while Ravel’s “Bolero” built to its 14-minute climax.

I am proud to say that the audience was bursting to give a standing ovation, but were too shy to do so until yours truly lept up to his feet in ecstatic jubilation and started shrieking with happiness. The others fell into place along with me moments later. I told you: I am gay, gay, gay. I clapped until my hands and shoulders ached. I love my clients. If it weren’t for them, I wouldn’t have stories like these! If you have the opportunity to see this particular show, and you don’t… well… you’re crazy!

So, the title for this entry is a reference to a song by Michael Jackson from his album Dangerous called “Why You Wanna Trip On Me?” It’s appropriate, because of a situation involving an escort whom I met last weekend in New York City. For almost a year now I have met many great people, both clients and colleagues, but I had yet to meet someone who completely falls into the stereotypical chaos that (until recently?) has been ubiquitously associated with adult entertainment as an industry.

I had finished for the evening last Friday, and I was chatting online. I saw a face I recognized from the online escort ads. He was an escort whom I’d considered hiring a few months ago when I was in Philadelphia, and for whom I had submitted a vote for being the sexiest escort of the year for the 2010 escorting awards. He is amazing in his pictures. Totally mesmerizing. I said hello.

And I should have known from his first response that it was going to be problematic.

I am not going to bother with the details of our meeting in person, but I will say that I am glad I have my process for screening clients. I will expound on this more in a moment. But before I do, I need to take a minute to meditate on the wisdom in the statement, “We create our own reality.”

This escort loathes his work. He said repeatedly, “My clients hate me too, because I’m an asshole.” His clients contact him willy-nilly, and they show up (or not) based on whatever whim. They come at him with expectations that trespass on his sense of self, and he goes along in an inebriated state trying to block it all out. I ended up having to extract myself from the club where we went, just because I was too tired to continuously avoid absorbing his dismay. I had a great trip to New York City, I enjoyed all my clients, and I wasn’t in the mood to have this person bring me down when I had one more day of itinerary left to conclude.

All this brings me to the following list of suggestions. These practices have created a situation where I am content, safe, and happy, and I have offered to share them with this person (who is truly breaking every rule of adult entertainment, but especially Devon’s Platinum Rule). I hope they will help you, if you are unhappy in your escorting practice:

1. Establish contact via email: Escorts, you will do very well to follow this simple suggestion. I cannot stress enough how important it is to be organized and to convey a sense of professionalism. This initial contact sets the tone of your entire interaction. Putting your phone number in your ad allows people to interrupt you at any time, and if you are distracted you will not be able to put the required focus into your conversation. Also, email puts everything in writing, so that you don’t have to memorize conversations. Sort your emails in a way that fits you (I sort mine by US states), and use the search functions on a person’s email to load strings of conversation to refresh your memory as needed. All of this is impossible with phone conversations. Also: Clients who are willing to go back and forth in an email conversation before talking on the phone are the ones you want! They like you enough to engage you verbally. They are excited. They are getting as much information as you are. They have gotten to know you some, and are much less likely to cancel. If they do cancel they will do so (in general) with enough notice not to leave you hanging. I generally do not give a client my phone number until we have confirmed an appointment. BE ORGANIZED.
2. Be certain that you know exactly what is expected before you meet: Seeing someone without having thoroughly discussed the client’s interests and expectations is a way to all but guarantee that you will have a thoroughly wretched time. Know your boundaries, and turn away appointments that are not aligned with what you are willing to do. Agreeing to see a client who wants something you can’t offer without injury to your sense of self will result in disappointments on both sides. You should know that there are forums where clients submit reviews about escorts, and if you provide terrible service others will eventually know and cease calling you.
3. Work sober: Until you have gotten acquainted with a client after a few meetings, you cannot say you truly know anything about him. You should never be intoxicated or inebriated in any way. Ever. Period. If you are meeting a client for the first time in a private place (rather than in a restaurant or public locale), do not accept food or drink that you have not witnessed being opened fresh and made from scratch in your presence. Not only is it completely unprofessional to be drunk/high (and you would do well to avoid clients who are intoxicated, as much as they should avoid you if you are), but your inhibitions will be eroded, and you will not be able to monitor and assess your situation from moment to moment.
4. Respect yourself: It might be a universal truth that people will treat you exactly how you tell them to treat you. And they will know how to interact with you by evaluating how you comport yourself. You must hold yourself dear, so that you will be in a position to be giving to others. When you treat yourself with care and others with grace, they will (nine times out of ten) do the exact same in kind. Adult entertainment is the same as any other business: Professionalism, cleanliness, respect, kindness, and confidence will attract the people who value these traits. You are in charge of your own brand. You must sell it to your target audience. Pick an audience with whom you WANT to work.
5. Take breaks: If ever there was an industry where you have to rest and recover your strength, it is this one. You can give only so much energy before you have to recharge. Escorts who will see clients with almost no notice worry me. How can you possibly be ready in 30 minutes to see someone who hasn’t told you what he wants?? Are you crazy??? You haven’t established that there’s any possibility of rapport between you at all! And escorts who say in their ads that they are available 24/7?? You must look like hell! I am available from noon to midnight, and don’t bother me when I’m sleeping! My goal is to take one weekend off each month, and you’re a fool if you don’t take time away. Burnout is real.
6. Plan ahead and manage your money: I know my itinerary before I ever show up in a city. I am looking for 7 - 12 billable hours on a weekend trip away from home (and only 3-6 billable hours if I stay in Charlotte for the week). I need two billable hours to cover hotel and food; one or two to cover airplane fares; three to amass the money I need that week for bills; and then the difference goes toward savings, projects, and/or spending money. This means of a maximum of 12 billable hours in a weekend (This is one way I avoid burnout!), a quarter of the money goes immediately back into my travel expense account, a quarter goes towards bills, and half goes to me. And THAT is how you divvy your money: Repay travel first, so that if you have a disappointing weekend you can afford to try again the next week. Put aside money to pay your bills next, so that you are not in a weakened financial position at home. But pay the business FIRST! (You can pay your bills late if need be! If you pay them first to be on time after a bad weekend, you won’t have the money to travel!) Finally, PAY YOURSELF. You would be wise to put some of what you have netted after business/bills into savings, some into investments, some into an emergency store of cash, and the rest into something nice for yourself (nice food, new clothes, travel, JEWELRY!!! hahaha). Everything in suggestions 1 -6 are here so that you can obey #7, which is the most important of all:
7. ESCHEW DESPERATION: Do not do anything involving adult entertainment from a position of desperation. EVER. Walk away and do something else. Find some other option to make money or to solve whatever problem is at hand. If you work from a position of disempowerment you risk falling into the pit of despair. It is a deep, dark place, and those who fall in with you will not be there to help you get out. They will not be in a position to do so, and they won’t want to. Create the reality you want for yourself!! Be happy! It’s in your power to do so!