Devon Hunter

Back at Yule I wrote about a piece of jewelry that I was wanting to buy myself as a gift. I remember all the angst and inner turmoil (and guilt). It’s rather funny in retrospect, because as of yesterday I paid the balance in full. Those sapphires are mine, baby!

It feels so satisfying.

I’ve also paid a medical bill and a closed-out credit card to zero. There is light at the end of the tunnel, and (unlike Mariah Carey) I’m not worried that it might be a train. This means that the plan I put into place to pay off lower balanced accounts, piling up the minimum payments from them onto higher balanced accounts, and whittling those too down more quickly is working.

One setback: In keeping to my pay-off schedule, I’m defnintely feeling strapped for cash. However, it is worth it in the long run, despite feeling pinched in the short term. I’m a tad bedazzled by how quickly I may actually get out of this morass.

I need a good weekend though!! Wish me luck… I’ve got rent set aside, but the car, student loan, and a loan my last boyfriend screwed up are due by Monday!

(Oh, and now that Reginald is mine, I wear him with much more frequency.)

p.s.

Happy Beltane everyone! Spring is half over and the light has definitely returned to us!

So, I went out last night (Tuesday Trivial Pursuit at Petra’s in Charlotte, NC) for the first time in quite a while. Every time I go out for fun I remember why I don’t. Over the course of about four hours I had umpteen random people come up to me (most of whom I had never seen before) and criticize something about the way I looked or the way I was dressed. I was on the receiving end of several cutting remarks about what I do, and I was called up on stage by the female impersonator hosting the event who said in front of about 150 people, “This is the only stripper I’ve ever known whom I would call an entertainer.” Mhm.

Here’s one exchange I had a few moments later: “You look very nice tonight.”

“Thank you. How are you?”

“I’m good. You’re that stripper, right?”

“Which stripper?”

“That guy that does all the flips and shit.”

“Oh. Yes, I’m probably that person, yes.”

“You look really hot. Can I take you home?”

“I came here with a friend. He’s my ride back.”

“Well, when you’re dressed like that it screams ‘Whore!’ I’m just saying.”

I was wearing jeans and a tank top with a baseball cap.

“Funny, I thought it was more of a whisper.”

I was pinched, poked, prodded, rubbed, humped, squeezed, and canoodled until I was just about done with being gracious. I finally settled into a nice conversation on the back patio, but before that happened I had to get ornery with someone: One boy came up to me randomly and said, “You are sooo fucking hot. But I’ve heard about you.”

“Oh? What have you heard?”

“That you’re a dancer.”

“I am a dancer.”

“Oh, well I don’t hold that against you. I’m cool with that.”

“Ah. Well, what do you do?”

“I work at Best Buy. I’m in retail.”

“Oh, well I don’t hold that against you. I’m cool with that.”

He went and sat down.

This could probably be alleviated by going out more. I am seen so seldom in my clothes that people just don’t know how to relate to me as a real person. I suppose I should start breaking down the social wall a little bit more, and letting people see me as I am. But that means I’ll have to contend with alot of sniping and mean bullshit along the way.

A total stranger walked up to me, and said, “So, did you tear the sleeves off that shirt?”

“No, it’s a tank top. I bought it like this.”

“Well, I’d like it better on a woman. I’m sure everyone else likes it just fine, but I’m straight.”

(Blink, blink… what the hell am I supposed to say to that?)

“Alright.” And then I turned away. What else is required here? I have no idea.

Part of me desperately wants to go out and be around people more (without it being in a work setting), but another part of me just rolls his eyes and thinks it’d be better to just stay at home with the cat. I like people, I truly do; however, there are times I just want to smack them. I have to admit that this is beginning to wear me out.

Probably the most hurtful non-interaction was with someone with whom I’ve hooked up several times. He kept walking by me with his head down, refusing to look at me. I finally approached him and said hello. He acted surprised to see me, and we had a very uncomfortable 30-second chat. About an hour later I left to go home. Immediately he texted me, “Sorry we couldn’t talk more. Let’s fuck again soon.” I think not.

I was obsessed with a piece of jewelry. I bought it, despite some trepidation and guilt. And I do not regret it at all, now that I can wear it whenever I want (though I generally reserve it for special occasions). I believe someone expressed the doubt that it looked like something a “grandmother” would wear (although, for personal reasons, I’m offended more that someone would use the term grandmother in such a way rather than for implying I’d look like an older woman).

At any rate, this isn’t a long, analytical post about the state of affairs of LGBTQ exotic dancers in Tibet. This is simply a light update, because I’m in need of some light. Heavy, heavy, heavy weekend. Not something I’m in a place to discuss just yet. Once I sort out my thoughts I’m sure it will generate some interesting material. Until then, I present you with Reginald, the homeless sapphires I adopted this past Yule. They have a nice weight, and the designed metal plate on the back warms up against my throat nicely. It’s almost like the enhancer nuzzles my neck. It’s a comforting sensation, and oddly enough I feel naked after I take it off, as if part of me is chopped off. Strange…

I had two, count them TWO, piña colada flavored daquiris with dinner tonight, and now I’m feeling silly. Here’s a funny story for you…

I went into a store to try on some new shoes, since the ones I’ve got are all but clobbered from dancing. Now, keep in mind that tips find their way into all sorts of interesting places…

Anyway, I took my boots off, and, lo and behold, some money falls out of them. That was strange enough to try to explain, so I just treated it like I did at the bank with the cigarettes and ass story. “I’m an exotic dancer - someone must’ve tipped me in my boots, and the money got stuck under my foot or something.” “Ah,” she said nonchalantly. People always grin when unexpectedly in the presence of a stripper.

Okay, it gets better.

So, she started asking me about work. And I, being the blabber mouth that I am, answered her questions candidly.

“So, people tip you all over and you don’t always know?”

“That’s right! If the money sits in one spot too long, you just stop feeling it touching you.” At this moment, to add some drama to the conversation (me being the consumate performer that I am), I said, “Even up under here!” At which point I reached into my underwear to cup my balls. Then I felt it…

I had a bill under my nuts. My face went a little pale. I could feel my eyes get wide.

“What’s wrong?” she asked.

I pulled my hand out, and she saw it the same moment I did: A $20 bill, looking very shabby and ill-used, wilted in my hand.

“How embarrassing,” I said, with a look of incredulity on my face.

“Well,” she said, “last time I reached under there on my boyfriend, all I found was some bitch’s phone number!”

I was asked in a private email by someone not yet in exotic dancing about ideas for keeping money and belongings safe while at work. Here are some possibilities for you to consider. You will have to adjust them to work for your personal situation.

1. Lockers - This is the obvious choice. The pro is that you can keep your valuables and personal effects locked securely. The cons are that they may be either too big or too small for your needs, or if they get damaged, you lose the key, or forget your combo there’s no easy way to retrieve your belongings. Also, if you travel, you will have to remember to remove everything in your locker into a duffle before you leave work. This situation is best if you dance on an on-going basis in the same venue. Don’t count on these: Most venues don’t supply them.
2. Duffle/Gym bag - Many brands of bags have doubled zippers with small holes in the ends of the zipper tabs. You could get extra small padlocks. The pros are that you can carry your belongings from venue to venue around with you prepacked, and you can fill your bag with everything you need while remaining mobile. The cons are that someone else can walk off with the bag and simply cut it open later. Also you can over-pack and end up with a very burdensome load. This is best when there aren’t lockers and/or when you are visiting a club without plans to stay for more than a night or two.
3. Envelopes/Mini safes - You could put your name on an envelope or keep a little cash box at the bar if you trust the bartender or a friend more than you trust the other performers. I wouldn’t make a big deal of it if you do this, because of what I’m about to mention next…
4. Trust - In my experience there isn’t really all that much theft. In all the time I’ve been doing this I’ve known of only two incidents of someone having their money stolen (in all the other cases the money had been misplaced or miscounted) and one incident of someone having their clothes stolen. In all those situations the people who got their stuff stolen were the ones who made the biggest deal out of not trusting their colleagues. Ha! Generally I’ve found that there’s quite a bit of honor amongst thieves. LOL (Sorry, that probably wasn’t as funny as I think it is.) Pay attention - don’t let yourself be taken advantage of, but also don’t contribute to a self-fulfilling prophecy. The pro is that your coworkers will probably respect you. The con is that you might be wrong.
5. Don’t bring much. The pros are that you don’t have to keep up with much and you don’t have to worry about your belongings being lost or stolen. The cons are that you will probably end up with only the outfit you’re wearing under your clothes, and you might have to ask to borrow something from someone else (who may not be willing/able to accomodate you). But you can keep your money in your pocket or shoes (which you should do in the case of #2 and #4 also). That might be fine. It might not. You know your situation.

NOTE: Consider going to your car after work in groups of 2 or 3, or get an escort to your ride. It can be dangerous to leave work alone. People know that dancers carry alot of cash right after work. You should worry more about muggers and patrons than other performers. If you have to leave alone, PAY ATTENTION. Get to your ride quickly, and lock the door promptly upon sitting down. I do not advise dawdling to talk outside the club after work. You make yourself vulnerable as a traget for robbery.