Tag: balance
How do you cope?
by Devon on Feb.01, 2010, under Hurtful episodes
I want to reach out and ask for your advice, dear reader:
I have a particular problem where I do not separate and/or compartmentalize. A very good friend pointed out to me today that if I “have clouds in one part of my sky it will then rain on everything in my day,” even if there’s no real reason. Put another way: If I’m affected negatively in ”A” then “B-Z” suffer too. What strategies do you have to keep balanced and focused in the various parts of your life when something is upsetting or irritating you?
Please feel free to either put your thoughts on the site by replying, or send me an email if you want your thoughts to be private.
PS
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-1 + 1 = 0
by Devon on Jul.12, 2009, under Appearance, Hurtful episodes, Identity, Positivity
It was brought to my attention that there are sites that do nothing but discuss the material that is generated at places like Sean Cody, Corbin Fisher, and Randy Blue. What’s more, it was brought to my attention that people can respond to those critiques/discussions. There are so many opinions out there… It’s pretty amazing how much they can differ from person to person or site to site. It’s also amazing the extent to which some people try to invade the privacy of others.
What I have read essentially brings me to balance: There are at least 15 sites I have found that have discussed and/or reviewed my solo at Sean Cody. This was not something I’d thought to consider before I did it. It never occurred to me that there were full-time movie critics and peanut galleries for Sean Cody; however, these not only exist, they proliferate in large numbers. And that is what is interesting: I am only one person, and yet some of the responses I elicited from people were as divergent as you could possibly imagine.
Some people were revolted at the thought of me being gay and 32 years old. Others liked me specifically because of it. There were as many comments that I was fugly as there were that I was gorgeous. All of the reviews themselves were glowing, but it was the conversations that followed that could be startling. And yet, after all that reading, what I have finally accepted is that I am who I am, and that’s going to just have to be good enough.
So, although some people have called me a pasty grub and others have called me a creamy boystud; and although some have called me a nelly gay-faced homo, while others refer to me as a hot gay jock; and whereas there are people who think me ancient and/or decrepit, there are others who applaud me for admitting my age (which makes me seem, to them, even more youthful); and since in the same conversation there are people who think I am nothing arguing along side of people who think I am everything… What all this essentially means is that all the negatives are cancelled out by positives, and I’m left right where I was before: Me.
And that’s not such a bad scenario. ![]()