Devon Hunter

This entry is rather belated, in terms of coming after the day we call Thanksgiving, but I didn’t want to feel pressured to write something just for the sake of writing it. I am ready now. I hope all of you had wonderful holidays, and that you were surrounded by love.

I have a great deal for which I am thankful; however, I want to focus on three points here. I am blessed to have a Mom and Gramma who understand me without question. I am happy to be genuinely at peace with the closure I have achieved after my two attempts at dating in the last calendar year. And I am so happy to have grown into a career that makes me feel free.

This year I didn’t feel like being bothered with a lot of company. I wasn’t in the mindset for all the voices and feet that Thanksgiving involves. And I definitely felt irritated at the prospect of running around all over the place to see various sets of people who never even offer to meet me in the middle to make the drive easier. So, I took off from the family scene this time around. Mom and Gramma didn’t question or pressure me. They understood I needed Mom/Gramma time, and there was nothing else said. We don’t really do guilt in my family (at least not when it comes to holiday stuff) . It’s quite refreshing.

Back in February I was upset over Allen. In July it was Steve. For the former I experienced a few months of real heartache and turmoil, and for the latter I was so overwhelmed with car problems and my transition out of the clubs that I didn’t have time to be upset. Both were unresolved until very recently. I have absorbed the lesson from Allen that I put into practice with Steve: I am now fully able to be friends with men with whom I have had failed romantic relationships. I wasn’t open to it before, but I am now. And it is so empowering. I honor and respect both of these men. Walking through the fire burns, but coming out on the other side you can definitely see how the flames do not necessarily sear the flesh. Those licks of heat can also burn away the chaff. It took a while, but my heart is lighter for having known them both.

I am a full-time companion now. I danced with the afore-mentioned Allen at an AIDS charity benefit last Wednesday, and we helped to raise $3,000; however, I did that for free. I haven’t danced in a club for money in months. And I don’t miss it at all. In the bars I had so much stress from worrying about sifting through the crowds, trying to find the people who appreciated me. Now, I know that the people I am meeting are at least interested in me on some level, and I am even finding some of my clients on the verge of becoming friends (a term I do not use lightly).

I hope that you, too, have plenty for which you can be thankful. I wish us all success and happiness. And I hope that you will invest in your own joy, if you don’t already. Make the care of yourself a top priority – only then can you truly give back to the world. Giving to yourself, so that you can give of yourself, is the best way I can think of to create a self-fulfilling prophecy of satisfaction and fellowship.

Devon Hunter: How do you want readers to know you? What name do you use, what is the name of your site, and what is the address online for it?
Lars: I am Lars. I actually have two sites I created to help the escort industry: One is for escorts (http://blacklistednow.blogspot.com) and one is for clients (http://beforeyoucome.blogspot.com). I think you were contacting me about BlackListedNow, so I’ll try and answer your questions here pertaining to that site.

DH: What is the purpose of your site?
Lars: BlackListedNow helps warn other escorts about problem clients. Clients who don’t show up for appointments, clients who lack respect when dealing with escorts, clients who don’t pay escorts, and of course, more serious situations (such as a client saying he’s going to use a condom, but then doesn’t; or a client who mentally or physically harms an escort).

DH: Is there a particular experience that finally made you feel compelled to create your page?
Lars: I have a number of friends who are escorts, and I felt bad for them when I would hear that they had a “no show.” I used to work in the industry, and I know how frustrating it is to get all ready for an appointment, only to have someone not even show up. It’s also quite rude.

I think it’s important to mention here that there are several sites that review male escorts (DaddysReviews.com being the most famous). But BlackListedNow is the only site that deals with negative clients specifically for the benefit of male escorts.

DH: Do you envision your site being used by other types of adult entertainers besides male escorts?
Lars: Not sure which other entertainers you mean. I’m thinking about porn models or exotic dancers. In order to put the negative client’s information “out there” you would need something that they don’t want the public to see, like a phone number. Male dancers, for example, don’t easily get that sort of information from their audience members.

DH: Do male escorts with problems with female clients ever post, or has it been all same-sex situations?
Lars: To date I think the website only shows issues with male clients. Negative situations with women do exist, but perhaps they’re not the same issues that I’ve described above. Perhaps guys feel they’re not appropriate to post on the site?

DH: Have you found that escorts feel empowered by creating a form of accountability for clients who disrespect them?
Lars: Absolutely. I hear this in feedback from them, time and time again.

DH: Are there protocols in place to make sure miffed escorts aren’t simply being vindictive towards someone who doesn’t deserve to be black listed?
Lars: To be honest with you, I don’t think that happens often. Escorts have their hands full, and
being vindictive takes time. In this industry, time really is money. To put one’s effort and time towards a client who didn’t really do anything wrong is to take time from appointments, prepping for appointments, advertising, working out, grooming, keeping one’s place clean, dealing with toys after their use, and the other demands that go on in an escort’s life.

Having said that, I will also say that there have been exactly two times when a client has contacted me to say he disagreed with the escort’s post. Those times I’ve contacted the escort to see if I could help work it out, and both times their contact information didn’t go through. I ended up pulling the original complaints. It’s not a perfect solution, but it seemed reasonable to me.

DH: Right now your site is specific to Washington, D.C. Are there any plans to expand it, so that people in other areas can make use of the board?
Lars: If someone contacts me and shows me they have a relationship to D.C., they are on it. For example, I recently had an escort from D.C. who was working in Dallas for a week, and he had an issue with a guy there – I posted that. I don’t have plans to expand it nationwide, unless someone wants to get behind me financially and back such a venture…

DH: How much effort does it require on your part to maintain the site, and does this affect your vision of how it might evolve?
Lars: I started this to help other escorts in the D.C./Maryland/Virginia areas. It’s still relatively small, because I’ve gotten area-specific. So it doesn’t really take too much time. I don’t get paid for doing this, so I’m not interested in having it grow more unless (sorry to repeat myself here) a financial backer came along.

DH: What direct/indirect benefits does your page provide to a) Adult entertainers, b) yourself, c) potential clients, and do you have any ambition to promote your site to further legal/social causes connected to sex workers in your area (or on a larger scale)?
Lars: I’ll take the second question first. I would be open to promoting the site to further legal/social causes connected to sex workers, but I’m not doing anything with that right now (if anyone has any ideas out there, contact me on that, please!)

There are three main benefits for escorts. One is that they gain a feeling of empowerment. The second is that if the client wants to work the negative situation out with the escort, they can do so, which usually results in a monetary compensation to the escort. The third benefit is more indirect: This sort of site helps to foster greater respect from clients. After all, any truly good relationship is built on mutual respect – and that is something many people seem to forget when hiring escorts.
As for potential clients… well, I think it might actually scare some clients away from hiring anyone, for fear of getting blacklisted. But in an indirect way, I’d like to believe that it benefits potential clients by boosting the transaction up a bit – I mean, making it more respectful. When people need to be accountable for their actions, everyone benefits. I suppose it indirectly affects everyone, because the industry ultimately becomes more professional.

I absolutely LOVE Chicago! What a wonderful city – no wonder I have consistently heard such nice comments about it. The streets are clean, there is no litter to speak of, the lake is beautiful, the food is good, the shopping is excellent, the people are friendly, and I just went into the most tasteful art gallery I have ever seen. The artists there are just spectacular. If you get a chance, you really must visit Atlas Galleries at 535 N Michigan Avenue. (Click images to enlarge them.)

I was walking back from breakfast, and saw a gallery window above me on a bridge. Out of curiosity I went upstairs and landed smack dab in the middle of Magnificent Mile (and it is aptly named!). The sculptures and canvases on display were fantastic; however, between two columns my retinas were seared by the most intensely monocrhomatic red painting I’d ever seen. I was instantly enthralled and felt compelled to get a closer look.

The canvas was overwhelming in person. I started crying. I know: That’s gay… but I’m an artist, and I get very emotional when I am in the presence of brilliance. The paint had been applied very thickly in lush layers of comingling reds, crimsons, and burgundies, accented with razor thin lemony yellow crests on the frozen waves of sanguine oils. It looked to be slathered on like icing on a cake. And this is what is even more impressive: It was a still life. “Just” some flowers. How many fucking times can someone do flowers??? But this artist managed to breathe life and movement into her flowers – I looked around and she had done LOTS of landscapes and flowers, and ALL of them looked to be moving, breathing, and glowing in the light of whatever seasonal sun was captured.

JalinePol W creates masterworks. The textures and colors are vibrant, and it’s impressive that she can create so much depth with such gross swipes of a trowel… But this is where it gets even better: She has perfected a technique of blending colors on her knife so that they bleed into each other without completely mixing. This creates a gradient effect that lets one color exhale into the next. I can only guess that she uses different thicknesses of paints to allow some colors to rest on top of others in order to create the various transparent dissolves that make her flowers look (despite the heavy coats of thick paint) to seem light, airy, and translucent.

She is a genius! I would cover the walls of my home in her work. You really MUST find her pieces. They are mesmerizing in the way they convey tranquility and desparate “aliveness” at the same moment. You could bite into her succulent canvases, and they would erupt or spurt with creative juices. Just marvelous. Stunning. My iPhone cannot possibly do them justice.

This may at first come across as a vulgar and gratuitously sexual entry; however, if you will bear with me, I will tell you why I have chosen to write it…

Yesterday I was drowning in one of my pools of emotion. I have climbed out of it much quicker than I normally do when I am mired in whatever mud my rivers churn up within me. I am not apologizing, because my emotions are part of who I am.

I spoke for an hour with my friend Jen, and we realized that I’m getting better at reining in my stallions, but that I need to focus on matching the level of my response to that which is appropriate. That isn’t to say that I am wrong to unleash the cavalry, but that I need to be more careful about when and to what degree I rattle the sabers. Almost a year ago Allen taught me to avoid scorched earth, and now I’m realizing the value of a gradated scale of alert at the airport.

Be that as it may, I then went into the normal tailspin of shame afterward for not having better control over myself; however, this time I did something special to make me feel better. I have commented on the types of touch I perceive, and after a bad day, I realized that I needed some sexual healing. (continues below video)

I went to Matt’s house almost too drained to even want to go, despite the fact that if there were ever someone I have met who should be in porn but isn’t… it is this boy. He is a fuck machine. He has blonde hair and blue eyes, a super lean body with compact and defined muscles, a cute face, an exquisite ass, and a huge dick. This 23-year-old boy was made for fucking, and he can do it for for hours. He can’t get enough! Just what the doctor ordered.

I always enjoy watching our sex in the mirror, because he is so responsive to small flicks here and deep kisses there. He writhes and moans, and is generally exceedingly flattering to my ego. But I was still just a tad distracted…

Until I caught my own eyes in the mirror and saw that I had finally connected to the moment. Between trying to suck my cock right off my body (and then trying to rip it off with his butt) I had no choice but to take the plunge… My survival was at stake! LOL

After a very long time he finally exploded into the most beautiful orgasm. His fair skin blushed red and he simpered like a little puppy. He is precious. So it was my turn, and I requested that he sit on my face while I masturbated to finish.

And then, in that precise moment, it finally occurred to me. While the mean-spirited cellar gnomes who had upset me so badly were in their little huts, groveling away over their computer screens about my latest controversy, I had a beautiful boy’s asshole in my mouth while I was jetting cum everywhere. And suddenly… those horrible people didn’t matter. They don’t matter. At all. They. Don’t. Matter.

What matters is the connection you make with people who hold you dear, and that this connection is one that nurtures you. I do not regret defending my friend. I do not regret being upset for what is happening to him. But my friend is the one who matters, not the dickhead who is bothering him. That boy last night who thinks I’m the sexiest man he’s ever met: He matters. The clients who experience joy, because they have spent quality time with me: They matter. My family matters. My cat matters.

Assholes don’t matter (unless they’re attached to the beautiful boy sitting on your face).

I believe that over the last year or two I have made it clear that I am a person of shifting moods, someone who is as faulted as anyone else, but who at least struggles with the internal questions of how to grow and become a better man on various levels. I have also written about what a friend is to me, and how precious that is in my mind and heart. With that in mind I would like to talk for a moment about sabotage.

I have written about sabotage very little, because I feel giving vent to it reinforces the stereotype that adult entertainment is more cutthroat than other industries. This is a perverse hypocrisy. I spent years in standard jobs, and to imply that sex workers are more manipulative than divorce lawyers, priests/preachers, bank CEO’s, school administrators/principals, or tenure-track professors is to throw very large rocks in very fragile glass houses. Politics is a game I do not play, not because I’m too stupid, but because I have no tolerance for hypocrisy and treachery.

With that said, there is a situation where a particular escort seems to have targeted a friend of mine. He shifts his own travel itinerary in order to get to a city a week before my friend. He then sees many clients, so that their finances are depleted just before my friend arrives. This Judas also casts aspersions on my friend. I don’t know the cause, and, frankly, I don’t care. My friend helped this person extensively in the past, and now he has decided to specifically undermine my friend in various duplicitous ways. I have never done this on my blog, but I will do it now:

Daddy can control the content of his own site, but he cannot control the content of mine. My readership covers people in 38 states, 24 countries, and four continents. I can make my content concerning you searchable with tags, including your name, that will show up in search engines.

I am a very nice person, but do not fuck with my family or my friends. I do not seek out confrontation – I loathe it; however, when in Rome…