Devon Hunter

I just got back from seeing the midnight screening of Michael Jackson’s “This Is It.” You really must see it… He was such a funny person. I love his artistry. I love his humanity. It was a wonderful production, and that the performances never happened before audiences is really a shame.

Tonight I got a post on my Pimpology entry from Mom. She has interacted here on the site some, but not for a while, and I’d forgotten she reads what I post. At any rate, I wanted to take a moment to acknowledge how very lucky I am to have the family I have. They never discouraged me when I said I wanted to be a choreographer; they never doubted any of my ideas or plans; they never even implied that my being gay was remotely an issue (except at first there was a concern for my safety in the rural South, but it wasn’t an issue of being disowned); and they never judged me for making the career choices I made (since they know me, and know that I have very good reasons/intentions for going in various directions)…

My mother (and many people probably think this as well, but I know I’m right - HA!) is the single most amazing human being I’ve ever known. She is patient, generous, selfless, kind, and thoughtful. She is sensitive, intelligent, and creative. And I’m not the only person who thinks so. Mom is the kind of person that you want to love, and you want her to love you back, because she’s so talented at it. She doesn’t try to be all of this - she is simply good, and she’s adept at encouraging it in others. She is beautiful, on many levels… though I never appreciated her strange diet fads, until I was older and started experimenting with my own. She may never live down that bowl of cold apple juice with brown rice and bananas…

Perhaps it’s a gay stereotype to deify one’s mother, but Mom reminds me of The Mother. I don’t want to imply that I think my mother is perfect, because that would render her less human. My primary fear for my mother is that she is too kind for this world. There are so many people who do not deserve the pleasure of having known her. However,  I am glad she is here with us, and I definitely think that if more people built their houses around the pre-existing trees on their lots, took time to trim rose bushes on a daily basis, chose kindness before revenge, ate almost exclusively raw fruits and veggies, illustrated children’s books/sewed stuffed animals from scratch for their kids and grandkids, and used a large glass of water and/or tea tree oil as the first choice for almost any complaint that needs a remedy… well… the world would be a better place.

Oh great Goddess, it has been a crazy day. But a very empowering one, nonetheless. Lemme break some knowledge down for my peeps…

So, I was flirting online with a total freaking hottie. Oh. My. God. Becky. What? Anyway, he turns out to be a veteran of gay adult video, and thinks I’m stunning. I’m not going to disuade him, not by a long shot. LOL If he wants to flatter me right into bed, that’s totally fine with me.

Later, instead of getting food (like I intended), I ended up at Cobalt at 17th and R in D.C. I don’t know how the hell this happened, but I started dancing with this one girl who was playing with the light beams in the air. It was sweet. We had fun. I guess, somehow (in a totally heterosexual way… the way only straight men can play with lights in the air at a gay bar while singing along to Lady GaGa’s “Paparazzi?”) this totally hot woman thought it was her turn to dance with me. “I’m gay you know,” I said. She didn’t care. At first I was going to avoid her, but then I thought, “I want to do an experiment.”

I walked around the club, trying to make eye contact. I turned some heads, but nothing out of the ordinary. I went back to her, and asked, “Do you want to make these gay guys go crazy?” She said “Hell, yes!” so I let her do all sorts of sexual stuff to me (we were making out hard, she was pressing my hands into all her naughty places, and wrapped one leg around me while we were grinding - titties are soft!), and when she reached down my pants to grope my ass and dick I took my shirt off. I played the part: I was the straight dude getting nasty with the hottest chick in the club. And I got exactly the result I expected: Suddenly I was umpteen times hotter. Why? Because all those stupid gay assholes thought I was straight. What a bunch of turds. I then had to sneak away when she went to the bathroom, because she thought she was taking me home. She was stunning. So beautiful that I momentarily considered the possibility of maybe getting an erection (but the moment passed).

What did we learn from this? Beautiful straight women are even better babe magnets than sports cars, dogs, and money. I could have fucked any dude in the place. Ridiculous. No. Ri-DICK-ulous. NO! Ri-COCK-ulous. (Credit to Gunn for that lovely term.)

Anyway, something about feeling really sexual (because she did turn me on, in a hormone way, even if I wasn’t sporting wood) makes me go in slow motion. I completely go into a musical retardando… I move as though the video were being played back at only 75% normal speed, and I somehow swim/float/glide through space-time. And my gaze gets very heavy, very penetrating. I left the club feeling like a predator. And even though she was no longer with me… I could have fucked any dude on the way back to the hotel.

Okay, so I guess I’d better stop trying to think people aren’t paying attention… LOL

I thought I’d be able to get away with a little experimenting without causing any confusion, but now that I’ve received the eighth or ninth email about it, I suppose I should explain what is going on with October 22 - 25, 2009.

When I advertise I have been placing my ads two weeks in advance. I wanted to branch out to a new city, and thought Seattle sounded like fun. I think I need to start doing three weeks in advance (especially for new cities). The response to my Seattle ad was very low, and so I decided a couple days later to try Minneapolis, but the response there was the same. Bearing in mind that I need to make travel plans a week in advance to get deals on flights and hotels, one week before Seattle/Minneapolis I wasn’t comfortable with committing to either. I chose to go back to a familiar place (which is fine, because I didn’t want to be so far away from home right now anyway - some personal stuff requires me to be able to get home quickly if need be).

Here’s where the irony kicks in: Another week passes, and I have the response level needed to go to either Seattle OR Minneapolis. LOL But I’ve already got commitments in DC, so my current plans have to stand. But the responses I have from Seattle and Minneapolis give me the foothold I need to try again in those places. I wouldn’t have been able to act on either of those ads anyway, because I’d have to get to whichever place tomorrow (and good luck finding a discount on flights/hotels with 24 hours’ notice).

So… For those of you who have written in and asked, “What kind of a whirlwind tour are you planning?” Well… this is what was happening in the background. In summary: I am going to reach further in advance, so as to hopefully avoid this type of confusion in the future. My apologies #1 for presuming no one would notice and #2 for seeming disorganized.

I have discovered a new fear (or at least a different incarnation of a familiar one): The fear of financial success. It’s odd… I find that I work very hard in various endeavors, hoping to attain some modicum of “success” in whatever it is I’m doing; however, as soon as I start to see those results, I (without realizing it, until after it has happened) back down/lose interest/get scared. Why would this be?

Is there worry that once I have achieved a particular “bench mark” there’ll be nothing left to do? Probably not. I don’t think in those terms. But what I have realized (and have said in various ways in different entries) is that I thrive on the process more than the outcome. I think there is also some small part of me that worries about maintenance/endurance/consistency… If I attain “success” how will I then avoid losing it?

An interesting part of me that I need to examine more closely… I think this misstep in logic has cost me a great deal, and I need to reflect on how I think it has tripped me up in the past. I think I purposefully sabatoge myself, and I need to think about the subtle ways this fear manifests itself. Any insight from y’all would be greatly appreciated.

I am on the verge of creating tangible security and stability for myself for the first time, and I’m scared I’m going to get scared and fuck it up.

Warning for DC boys: A time waster’s method 

Fool me once, shame on you… fool me twice, shame and plague on you… fool me thrice, and I tell everyone on the internet about your bullshit…

If you are a companion in Washington, D.C. there is a particular time waster you need to know about who is cruising the ads right now. He almost undermined my entire trip by filling up my schedule and then not showing up to any of the bookings. He is clever, and it took three times for me to put together all the similarities of his scam, and now I will share them with you, so that you do not risk losing not only the opportunity to see clients, but also the money the trip costs to go to D.C. The three instances I am about to describe were spaced out over weeks, and did not happen in even/rapid succession.

Clue #1: Totally ordinary (and complete) name revealed in message/address
This person uses ordinary names. He changed it for each time he contacted me, obviously. The names he used are not obvious fakes like John Smith. They are just ordinary enough to seem real. Although these are not the names he used, they set an example: Brian Fannerty. Jimmy Copeland. Frank Westerman. They sound like real names… He was too sophisticated to go for over-the-top names like Rex Hammer, or some porno sounding crap like that.

Clue #2: Gmail server
All three of these “people” had username@gmail.com emails. Take particular note in D.C. if you get an email from a GMail account with a perfectly normal first and last name put together as a compound word or separated by a period. (e.g. brianfannerty@gmail.com or brian.fannerty@gmail.com) Although not unheard of, most people will contact you with an email that does NOT reveal their entire name. Most people prefer more discretion than that, until they become acquainted with you.

Clue #3: Extended appointments
All three jumped right into asking about multiple hour sessions. “I have a birthday I want to celebrate with an overnight;” “I just broke up with a boyfriend, and I want to go a little crazy;” and “I got a raise, and I had the extra money burning a hole in my pocket.” Although I didn’t ask for an explanation from these “people,” I was offered overly plausible reasons for wanting long/overnight sessions on first meetings. All three ultimately went from 2-, 3-, or 4-hour sessions straight to overnights with no suggestion from me to do so.

Clue #4: Questionable photos (given without being asked)
All three attached photos within a few emails. I never ask for this. If someone wants to share his pics he may do so, but I never ask or insist on it. All three ended up attaching photos that I didn’t think seemed authentic, but I wasn’t going to question. However, the pics from the third “individual” were what finally made all of this click into place. (If you find yourself in this scenario in D.C., and you find yourself looking at a photo and thinking “Hm, I wouldn’t have expected that” for any reason… well… there you have it.)

Clue #5: Dead email, phone number
For all three the GMail addy stopped working days before my trip or during it. For one of them the phone number had also been disconnected (yes, I’d spoken at length with one of the “individuals” on the phone, and since he was the “first” to contact me, but the “second” to disappear, I had zero reason to be suspicious about connecting the three together).

I ended up having a good trip to D.C., so I thwarted this; however, I did leave early when I started not feeling well. Despite this person’s overly thorough efforts, I did just fine. Just sayin’…