Devon Hunter

On the way home from D.C. today I had an extended conversation with a very friendly, intelligent, handsome, and curious patron who was interested in knowing more about “the biz.” He expressed the concern that he was often shy of tipping dancers, because doing so would mean he was a “troll” (because only “trolls” tip). He thus often refrained from tipping, even when he wanted to, for fear that others would think him desperate or disgusting. The following is a re-cap of what I then explained to him:

There are many types of people in clubs. Some are very well-mannered and kind, regardless of their appearance. Others are not. I think the reason the “trolls” stand out in people’s minds so much is because of the way these types of people carry themselves: They are people (often older men, but not always) who make no effort to mask their aggressive sexual energy. This being the case, they draw attention to themselves. They tend to hover and lasciviously rake a dancer over the coals for a dollar. This, however, is the very smallest minority of people who tip. They are the most visible, but the least common.

All sorts of people tip. Last night alone I was tipped by three young women, an Asian twink, several upper middle class White men in their mid- to late-thirties, a reserved but kindly White gentleman who has generously offered to let me use some of his frequent flier miles, many Black men of various dispositions ranging in age from about 25 to about 50, at least five or so Latinos (one of whom was a “troll”), and also by two affluent Lebanese college students. Those are just the ones I can think of at a moment’s notice. Now that I remember it more clearly, last night there were also several older gentlemen who tipped me repeatedly; however, they were so polite, well-groomed, and gracious that they could hardly be categorized as trolls. Of that entire list of people, only ONE was a troll.

This particular Latino of about 40 years of age was a sloppy drunk who tried to finger me several times. He followed me around the bar harrassing me for my phone number. He said, “I’ve given you so much money. Why won’t you just come home with me?” He’d tipped me a dollar about four times. THIS is a troll, and it has little to do with his age/race/appearance, and far more to do with his attitude/behavior. He was scaring me.

The point is this: Tipping doesn’t make you desparate. It doesn’t make you disgusting. Being an asshole makes you a troll. I asked this person on the phone if he’d noticed, out of the approximately 500 patrons last night, anyone he thought was normal, polite, and/or attractive. He said he definitely had. I then asked if he saw any of these people tipping dancers. He said yes. He went on to say that he didn’t think less of them for tipping. He answered his own questions.

Don’t be afraid to tip, but do approach it with some modicum of respect for the working boy who has fired up your fantasies.

Today we are launching the FUK!T safe sex project that I have mentioned several times on this blog. This is a Public Service Announcement, and the models/photographer/directors/volunteers who contributed their resources were not compensated for their invovlement. Dr. Terrance Gerace, medical advisor to the project, sits down and explains more about the program. Before speaking with me he had also been interviewed by D.C. Metro Weekly (click to read).

Devon Hunter: What is the name of your project, which groups support it, and how does the organization maintain itself?

Terrance Gerace: www.DCfukit.org is a community based prevention program developed by men who have sex with men specifically for our community, with the goal of stopping the spread of HIV and other sexually transmitted infections among men who have sex with men. www.DCfukit.org was developed by members of the HIV Working Group and is supported by The DC Center and private donations.

What is the idea and/or philosophy that motivates this project, and how is it manifested in the final product/presentation/activities involved?

We want to provide honest, factual, sex-positive safer sex information. We use erotic material to capture the audience’s attention, and we seek to eroticize safer sex practices.

What is the goal of FUK!T, and how will you measure success?

The goal is to put condoms where people are going to be able to find them reliably in public entertainment venues. We want the condoms to be in places where people go that may then culminate in leaving to have sex (bars, clubs, restaurants, etc.). That question about success is interesting: Partially we’ll know how much help we’re providing in how quickly we have to restock the dispensers. We would like to do surveys eventually, so it’s more scientific. Right now this is a visibility campaign. It’s important to know that up until the mid-90’s it would be unthinkable in D.C. to go into a gay venue and not have condoms available in a dish or bowl. Now that has almost wholly disappeared, and we’ve been turned away by some gay bars saying, “We’re not that kind of establishment.”

What is the initial response leading to the launch? Are people excited?

We’ve had very positive pre-launch feedback. In particular, the tee shirts have been a hit. When we wore them to the club and on the beach as a group we had many people approach us.

What types of backlash are you anticipating, and how are you preparing for it?

Because of the expliciteness of the campaign, we expect people to consider it vulgar. But I see it less as explicit and more as honest. Really, to grab the attention of the highest risk population you have to do something that will compell them to look and take notice. The goal is to provide public health information that will be received and not yawned at. The people who would be most critical of this would be critical of anything gay. You’ll never please them. If we sanitize the campaign to the point that it “pleases” everyone we won’t be doing anything any different from what’s been done before. We’ve resigned ourselves to the idea that some will be “offended,” and we’ve prepared another form of the FUK!TS called TOOLK!TS.

What is the difference between a FUK!T and a TOOLK!T?

The TOOLK!T is running parallel to the FUK!T campaing and is designed to be placed in venues where people under the age of 18 may see them. The Tool Kit is the PG-13 version of the NC-17 FUK!T. We recognize that FUK!T is adult in theme.

Are there any defined goals for 6 months/12 months/beyond? What is the long range plan, and how do you hope to sustain the project beyond its initial push?

The goals are to get them into every gay-centered nighttime establishment in D.C. within a year. Because it’s very labor intensive, the packing has to be done by hand. We will be looking for businesses to sponsor us by paying for pre-packaged FUK!TS, so that our volunteers can focus on restocking and outreach, rather than assembling kits.

How difficult has it been to get venues involved, and what strategies are in place to add new distribution points?

The venues have fallen into one of two categories: Extremely receptive and extremely unreceptive. Rather than focus on the unreceptive now, we’re focusing on the receptive and hoping the others will eventually see FUK!TS as an important community resource and agree to put the dispensers in their establishments. I think it’s very important to point out that there is no cost to the establishments for the dispensers: We construct, paint, install, stock, and replinish the FUK!TS at our expense. All the venues have to do is agree to provide a spot.

If this project is sustained and is successful, will you consider helping/guiding/advising people and organizations who want to do something similar in areas outside of D.C? Which places do you think are most in need of a program like this?

I was previously the medical advisor and founding board member for The Great American Condom Campaign, the largest free condom distribution network in the country. So yes, the FUK!T program was invisioned for nation-wide implimentation. In fact, even prior to the launch we have already had an inquiry from Columbia, South Carolina. We would give affiliates the rights to use logos, pictures, and other designed materials, but they would have to find funding in their areas to supply dispensers and condom packets. If we got a major grant we would also supply the physical materials.

In terms of need, any place where there is HIV needs a program. We’re focusing on the city that has the highest rate in the U.S., but it’s important that any place with gay establishments re-invigorate the message that the use of condoms reduces the spread of HIV. HIV without treatment is still a fatal disease.

The models show age, body type, and ethnic variety. Is this intentional?

Yes. In any campaign you want to appeal to as wide an audience as possible. We wanted to ensure that all types of men were used, because all types of men are at risk. We didn’t want to alienate any particular group of gay men, so we tried to make sure there were familiar faces and bodies across the spectrum. We plan on including even more variety in the future.

Is there anything you’d like to add that we’ve not touched upon?

The web site is designed to put healthy sexuality in a context of a healthy life. There are links to other resources that focus on a variety of health and social issues. Sex is an amazing part of life, but it is just one part.

In the first “Food for thought” entry I discussed my supper at Taverna Plaka in Atlanta, Georgia. That was a wonderful experience, but not quite perfect (but through no fault of the restaurant itself). Something was missing for that dinner: Company. Meals are the very essence of quality time for friends and family, and I wasn’t able to share my pleasure at Taverna Plaka (but next time I will go with a friend).

Today I had lunch with my friend Joe. We went to Fogo de Chão in Washington, D.C… Ohmygosh!! It was one of the single most spectacular lunch experiences I have ever had. It was an event. The setting is immaculately clean and beautifully designed, the Brazilian/Portugese servers are prompt and courteous (almost to the point of embarrassing me), and the food is both visually and nom-nom-nomerifically stunning. It was almost overwhelming, it was that splendid.

We started with the “salad bar,” though I feel I do it a disservice to call something that looked more like landscape architecture a salad bar. I don’t know what else to call it though. It was perfect. I would almost venture to guess that each greenbean was placed strategically on the serving platter, and that each shaving of Parmesan was carved with care (so as to give the illusion of perfectly homey crumbles). I was nearly scared to touch anything. But I did. And it was yummy!

The meat portion is interesting. Each person at the table is given a round piece of paper that resembles a coaster. One side is red, the other is green. When the red side is up no one will come offer you his meat (if only it were that easy in the clubs, right?). But when you turn the green side up within moments a gentleman with a particular type of meat (sausage, chicken, lamb chops, leg of lamb, filet mignon, etc.) will come and offer you some of whatever is on his skewer. After I got a cut I left my green light on, and immeditely someone else came and offered me something else. I said, “No, thank you,” and he went away confused. Then immediately a third came… and then I was getting panicked… Finally Joe said, “You have to turn your coaster back to red.” Ohmygosh! Fabulous!

At any rate, Joe and I sat for what must have been nearly two hours talking. And you know what? The meal was superb, but it was made all the better for sharing it. With Taverna Plaka I was reminded that food is joy. But with Fogo de Chão I was reminded that people with food lifts that joy to inspiration.

I don’t socialize near enough in my personal life. I just don’t. I get tired of deflecting assumptions and defending my choice of career. I get tired of expectations, and I am generally worn out of people’s company after the weekend; however, this trip to Washington, D.C. has reminded me that I really do love people. Yes, I needed a reminder.

While I’m praising Joe’s company and Fogo de Chão I should also heap some praise on Dr. Terry Gerace. What a perfect host he is. He, as you may remember from my other postings about him, is a huge portion of the energy behind the FUK!TS I came here to help promote. He is also the owner and operator of what is probably one of the single most amazing Guest Houses/Bed and Breakfasts you’ll ever hear about: The Artists Inn Residence. It’s uncanny - he found a muralist who can do trompe-l’œil effects so well that I thought the wooden staircase was marble until I actually stepped on it. Amazing!

Dr. Terry spent three years on the house, and it features many reclaimed works of antique metal, stone, and wood. I’m staying in the Shakespeare Room (each room is themed to focus on a particular artist: William Shakespeare, Leonardo da Vinci, Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, Katherine Hepburn, Salvador Dalí, and Duke Ellington). It’s quite simply the most relaxing and intriguing sleep over I’ve ever had (which is almost as insulting as calling the vegetables today a salad bar). The format is adjusting from nightly/weekly rates to monthly rates, so if you are planning an extended stay, you should definitely consider contacting the Artists Inn Residence, which is right in the middle of DuPont Circle.

Joe and Terry (as well as many other recently discovered precious friends) remind me to invest in people more deeply than I have in years. They are fantastic people. Between food, conversation, and hospitality they have made my visit here both constructive and very happy. As I venture more and more outside of the clubs in pursuit of my adult entertainment career, I am finding that this is a journey I should have started sooner. I am excited again about the possibilities that wait ahead.

A quick update: We’ve taken some awesome pics with some great models, and the pictures are starting to show up on the www.dcfukit.org website. Here is my favorite pic of yours truly: http://www.fc-kits.org/blogslinks.html. The official launch for the project is Friday, May 29, 2009!

Happy Memorial Day!

Hello everyone! It’s absolutely gorgeous today in Washington, D.C.!! I love Dupont Circle on a pretty day (yes, I love the Fruit Loop). I hope this finds you well. Below is the link I promised for the story I wrote for Matt Comer’s blog at www.InterstateQ.com. The essay I wrote is part 5 of 5, but when you go to Matt’s page you will find the links for the first four installments at the bottom of the page.

Happy Memorial Day weekend!