In all honesty, most women at clubs ignore me completely: I’m shorter than most dancers, I’m nowhere near as aggressive or shadowy (which girls at male strip clubs seem to want more than the nice guys they can see anytime at home), and I make no secret of the fact that I’m gay. I understand completely why I would be invisible to most women at a strip club – there’s really no fantasy that they might seduce me. But every once in a while I will inadvertently charm the ladies. This is becoming more common as I gain muscle mass (because I’ve gradually, over the last several months, become more and more mistaken for heterosexual – it happened three times Friday night and twice on Saturday). Passing for straight isn’t my goal or my priority, but it can be fun playing with people’s expectations, now that presumption doesn’t sit at 100 percent.

There were three women sitting at the bar. Everything I did titillated them. I actually enjoyed this, because I absolutely love women. When I finally came around to them, so that they could talk to me and tip me, they were lovely. Once I was actually there in front of them, two of the three were reluctant to touch me at first. It was taboo, I suppose. The married one had no trouble at all. I thought this was especially marvelous. They liked my ass, biceps, and abs in particular.

“Oh my God! You make me want to go home and fuck my husband!”

“Well… that’s my job.” (I didn’t really know how to respond to this, since I don’t get a chance to chat with girls much at work.)

“It’s too bad you don’t like me.”

“I do like you!”

“It’s too bad you don’t want to fuck me.” (Aha! They do know I’m gay!)

“Susan, I will respect you more than any man you will ever meet.” (Said very coyly with a wink as I kissed her hand.)

“Oh, damn… Respect me some other time!”

I love my work.

Today was Imbolc, the Wiccan sabbat that celebrates the return of the Sun. It marks the halfway point between the Winter Solstace (the longest night of the year) and the Spring Equinox. It is the point in Winter when one sees the initial stirrings of the life that is to return in Spring. For this reason it is treated as a day of celebration, hope, preparation, and expectation.

To celebrate Imbolc I have decided to meditate on the people in my life who bring me Light. It’s sufficiently metaphorical to be utterly Devon of me, don’t you think?

Imbolc is thus a time for thanksgiving. I want to take this opportunity to thank those of you who have helped me with your generous spirits over the last several months. This weekend alone I was approached by six people who had read my blog: One was a stranger on an elevator who recognized me, one was a person at the club who’d come to see me dance after stumbling across the site, and the others were patrons I’ve known for a while from whom I’d never expected compliments.

Thank you for everything that all of you do. I appreciate you, and I want you to look toward the Spring with renewal and happiness in your hearts. Whether the groundhog sees his shadow or not tomorrow, keep your chins up! Despite the challenges the world is facing during these dark times, Life is returning to the world. Cling to positivity – you will be contributing to your own happiness.

Happy Imbolc!