Devon Hunter

“Hey! I came across your blog on the RealJock site. Very interesting and insightful. I’m a bartender and your post about working hard for a dollar is soooo right on. Sometimes I will be so busy pouring drinks and someone will refuse to get out of the way until I’ve acknowledged that they gave me a dollar. This is after their 3 jaeger bombs and 4 cocktails totalling $30+. Fuckers. Hah!

“So, your pics are also great. I’m wondering what you do about your ass. lol. I mean, your skin is pretty much perfect. I have a great body and a pretty killer ass, but it’s never the clearest of skin. I wash everyday, I use sensitive soap detergent. I just can’t figure it out. So maybe you can offer some tips?

“I’m sure a blog on body grooming would fit well into your reader’s minds.

“Thanks!
“C”

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Let the buyer beware…

There are some red flags you should be aware of when you go to a club. SOB licenses (sexually oriented business) are required in many places in order for lap dances to be permissible. Depending on the state/county/city laws, getting a lap dance in a club that isn’t properly licensed can get the dancer and/or the patron arrested. Of course everyone will say they are licensed, but how do you make an intelligent choice? Here are three cautionary situations to look for:

1) How often is the club shut down, raided, or inspected by authorities? More than a few times a year and you should be asking yourself some questions about what they’re doing and why they’d attract so much attention.

2) Do the dancers need look outs? If a dancer tells you that you have to be given a dance behind other dancers, or if the door has to be watched, you should definitely NOT get lap dances at that club. That kind of behavior betrays a sense of guilt or anxiety bred by concern for repercussions that wouldn’t exist if the club in question is properly licensed.

3) If dancers have to be convinced or tempted with unusually high fees to give you a dance, you should stop asking for one. Dancers should be willing to give dances – if they aren’t, there’s a reason. If they push hard to give you a dance outside of the club it’s possibly because they can’t give you one on site.

I hear it said fairly often that being an exotic dancer is a short-lived, unsustainable, no-end career. I would make the same argument about education, given the fact that half or more of new teachers leave the field after five years or less. The point is this: In any career you have to be creative, you have to enjoy what you do, and you have to be willing to evolve. That is how you create your own success.

At some point dancers retire from the stage (many of us do this far later than most people probably imagine – that is a lack of imagination on their part, and has nothing to do with how viable on stage you can remain for a very long time). When a dancer is ready to hang up his thong, he is actually in a position to do quite a few other jobs, especially if he was smart and got experience in other fields as well. I know porn models who are also engineers. One of the dancers at Swinging Richards in Atlanta is a chiropractor. I personally have advanced degrees, work experience in other fields, and plan to become a physical therapy assistant in the coming years. I digress…

TEN CAREERS THAT BEING AN EXOTIC DANCER TRAINS YOU TO DO
(and which have nothing to do with how you look):

1 – Entertainment Director – you will know the ins and outs of getting acts into venues
2 – Club Manager – you will understand the various aspects of running this type of business, if you are hands on about learning it
3 – Sales – you will have the confidence in selling your most important product: you
4 – Public/Motivational Speaker – you would be surprised how much people want conversation and how much they will take to heart what you say, so practice being positive and channel this in new directions
5 – Booking Manager – you could start your own performance troupe of dancers and manage it
6 – Personal Shopper/Style Coach – performers with aesthetic finesse often refine this to an art and can help others with their style choices
7 – Event Coordination/Planning – clubs often collaborate with community organizations, so you should network as much as possible and become the go-to who knows everyone and helps them all get something done together
8 – Fitness Industry Professional – you are probably already involved in fitness, so why not get certified and use your knowledge on a grander scale?
9 – Entrepreneur – just as with sales, many exotic dancers are very bold and confident people who can take their experiences interacting with patrons and turn that into new ideas (didn’t you just give a lapdance to a bank executive??)
10 – DJ – dancers know what music gets a crowd pumped, and with some time in the booth you could learn to spin for parties and events with the best of them

Here I go again… explaining once more that it is not appropriate to dicker and dither. At some point people will finally understand exactly how insulting this is and stop. Some negotiating might be appropriate, but an outright bidding war is absolutely not acceptable.

I was chatting yesterday and out of nowhere someone asked me to come dance at their election party. Mind you, there would have been five people splitting the fee. Off the top of my head I said $100 to make it worth my time, gas, and trouble. Leave it to some greedy Charlotte queens to get upset about that. Mary, please! And then they want to know why I don’t dance locally?? If you need a bargain, baby, Chasers has a red light special anytime you need it. That toilet is located at 3217 The Plaza, Charlotte, NC 28205. Their number is 704-339-0500. Hit them up for a coupon, and leave me the hell alone.

What I really love is when someone sitting at a bar will look at me with a sly face and say, “You better work for this dollar.” Bitch, I just did! Gimme the fucking dollar, or don’t! Whatever!!!

Some people have the mistaken notion that their money is worth a whole lot more than it is. Boo boo, let me tell you a secret: Your $1 is worth… ONE DOLLAR. In this economy it’s probably worth more like $0.88, so don’t get all up in my grill expecting the world for nothing. Exactly what is $1 worth to you in terms of your time, effort, and investment? Would you think it reasonable for your boss to treat you with this type of contempt for your work?

Some people need to get a new grip on reality. If you think your $1 looks like $3 (or more) to me, you need to take your cheap, broke ass home. In fact, if you’re that hard-pressed, honey, just let me know and I’ll give YOU a dollar, so that you can call your Mama for a ride back to her house.

I’m gay. The default political setting for that in this country is Democrat. Yes, there are gay Republicans walking through the world, which I am confouded about to be honest, but variety is the spice of life. Yes, I voted for the Obama/Biden ticket; however, it wasn’t as easy as I’d imagined it would be. I had a bit of a hissy fit at the polling booth…

Let me first say that I have never been registered with any particular party: I don’t want to be limited during the primaries. Today I voted a mixed bag of Democrats at the national level, Libertarians at the state level, and as best as I could for local “stuff.” I do not believe I am well-served by voting down a straight party line. So, I wanted to make it clear first and foremost that I am not simply a pre-programmed liberal voter. I’d have voted for Green candidates if there’d been any in my area running. I love the precepts of the Green platform. It’s really perfectly aligned to my personal philosophies. I wish it had more traction as a party.

Okay, this is where the anxious foot stomping comes in: I accidentally walked out without my notes… I couldn’t leave the polling station to go home and get them. The people there didn’t have any lists of any names or anything at all to help me remember my choices! I voted with true confidence at the national and state levels, but I’m really hoping I did okay for the local races. It was then that I had to flip back to the front and face the presidential bubbles.

When I went into this I had the following in mind: If Obama is that far ahead in my state, I will write in the names of the Candidates for the Green Party. If McCain is stomping Obama in my state, I’ll do the same. However, if there’s any possibility that Obama might actually need me to push the balance in North Carolina, then I’ll vote for him (bearing in mind that Obama was my FIFTH choice as a Democrat and that I didn’t rule McCain out completely until he selected The Abominable Snow Woman). Seems like a pretty good strategy.

Until I realized that I was really looking forward to voting Green but had walked out without my notes. Suddenly I was forced to vote Obama, because I drew a blank on the Green candidates’ names!! Nevermind that North Carolina may swing toward him and that I’d decided in that case I’d vote for him anyway… the point is that I’d taken away my own damn choice!!! I stood there for at least 15 or 20 minutes hemming and hawing… The octagenarians kept coming over to make sure I was okay, and one even patted my shoulders affectionately.

So. There it is. After nearly two years I finally placed my vote. I’ve been so ready for this election to hurry up and be over. Now it is. I’m completely underwhelmed.