Devon Hunter

I think what I want this blog to do, more than anything else, is help people in general realize that adult entertainment is a job and career like any other. It has perks and challenges. It has all the same salient features as any other career, but the product/service you are selling is… YOURSELF.

That can be said of any sales person though.

With that said, I want to bring attention to the fact that networking, friendship, support systems, and office drama are all part and parcel with being an exotic dancer, or any other type of adult entertainer. You need allies in this field, just like you would in any other.

I have an ally. He’s my friend. I love him like a brother. I’m so proud of him. He’s been performing now for a year, and he’s grown so much. He’s ambitious, but we keep each other grounded. We can tell each other anything, and I trust him. That’s not easy in any situation, let alone in clubs (which for some reason can attract some truly loathsome people).

At any rate, Scotty is my friend. He’s my Bubba. Wherever possible, be sure to let your friends know that they matter. Without them you are diminished as a person. Be picky. Understand the term “friend” the way the French do: You can have many fond acquaintances (connaissances) and several buddies (copains), but only a very select few friends (amis). Avoid abusing the word friend. When you call a person a friend, let that, in and of itself, be the best compliment you could give him/her.

I’m sorry to have to report that this weekend saw one of the more unpleasant aspects of exotic dancing come to bear on a situation at work: A potential stalker made himself known. His story to us dancers: He’s out on bail after serving 290 days while he awaits a trial for “breaking and entering,” and he is facing 15 years - life.

Alright, on the one hand this is good: He has made his dangerous persona and potential insanity transparent. Often you aren’t served up such a delicious platter of chaos with quite the same blunt finèsse this gentleman employed. On the other hand, it must be patently obvious that this man isn’t telling the whole truth: One doesn’t go to jail for 15 years - life for breaking and entering (unless one has entered said property with the intent of doing someone, not someone’s property, grievous harm). To have that kind of trial ahead of him, he must have done something pretty awful. Why he’s out in the first place is a whole other kettle of fish.

At any rate, I declined to give him private dances, sensing immediately (before his story came out) that something wasn’t right about him. His hygiene was horrible, his eyes desparate. He was far too oversexed and aggressive. He kept licking my boots while I was on the bar (which in and of itself doesn’t necessarily mark someone as bad - no offense intended to those with boot/leather fetishes), and he kept trying to put his mouth on my penis. (He tried to put my dick/in his mouth,but I said/”No, no, no…” - props to Amy Winehouse)

The newer dancers I was working with had not yet met anyone like this man and gave him dances, wherein he tried to do everything I’d expected… with the exception that he also began getting aggressive about leaving the club with us. Over the course of the night it became clearer and clearer that he was unbalanced and had the intention of following us, saying “Make sure you come get me when you’re ready to go. I don’t want to have to watch the door and run after you.” Mhm.

One dancer was feeling conflicted about this scenario, wanting the money for doing the dances. But ultimately he decided to avoid this when I told him this person would interpret the dances (even if he pays for them) as a sign of interest. As it turns out, all our gut reactions to this man were spot on.

We finagled a way of getting paid by the bar and then leaving together as a group, watching each other get into our cars and driving away. We also made a point of watching behind each other to make sure we weren’t followed. After getting home we all texted the “AOK” to make sure each person was at home, doors locked, and no followers noted.

Listen to your voice. You have it for a reason. We evolved to have this fight-or-flight response. In all situations in life you ignore it at your own peril. That isn’t to say you should be paranoid, but you must always pay attention and use good judgement (particularly in adult entertainment, which is rife with people who will take advantage of you with a moment’s notice):

When you’re faced with a stressful situation, you’ll probably notice that your heart starts to beat faster, you breathe more rapidly, your skin gets cold and clammy, your mouth feels dry, your pupils dilate and the hairs on the back of your neck stand up. There are also some changes you don’t notice, like reduced blood flow to your kidneys and digestive system. If you’re really terrified, you may even lose control of bladder and bowels.

The brainstem is situated at the base of the brain and controls a lot of our automatic responses and life sustaining functions, like breathing, which we do without conscious thought. When you perceive danger, a part of the brainstem called the hypothalamus sends a nerve message to your adrenal glands and hormones like adrenaline and cortisol are released into the bloodstream, where they cause the dramatic changes described above.

The overall effect of these changes is to sharpen all your senses and enable you to perform optimally in a life threatening situation. All your blood is diverted to your muscles, while non essential systems are shut down. Surface wounds bleed less, as skin blood vessels constrict. The faster, deeper breathing brings more oxygen into the blood and this helps the muscles to work faster. Opening of the bladder and bowels reduces the need for other internal activity, lessens your weight if you flee and may put off attackers. If you end up in a fight, you’ll hit harder, jump higher and think and dodge faster than usual. In case of flight, you’ll run faster, see better, hear more acutely. - http://www.brainskills.co.uk/FightOrFlight.html

I found out yesterday that someone has double crossed me. I don’t say that with shock on my face, but I also don’t want to come across as jaded. Let me simply say this: I’m not surprised, and yet my feelings are still hurt.

Remember this, no matter what you do, whether you plan to become a doctor or an exotic dancer, you will get back what you give out. A career is a career, and there are people involved. It makes little sense to burn bridges. So then, here is what happened. (Hopefully you will learn from it, regardless of what you do for a living and whether or not this blog will lead you towards your dream job of prancing around naked for money.)

A dancer, let’s call him Jason for pretend purposes, was stuck in a crapped-out skeezy bar. Let’s pretend that club is in Charlotte, NC. Let’s also pretend that a couple of generous guys (we’ll pretend their names are Devon and Scotty) helped secure bookings for Jason at a club where Jason could earn considerably more money on a regular basis. Let’s continue this little round of make-believe by pretending that Jason underbid Devon and Scotty for a booking at a different club, despite the fact that all had agreed to a particular booking fee. Let’s say that Jason, for some reason that makes ZERO sense at all, agreed to go to this different club for only $50. Are you fucking kidding me? What a dumb stripper! So, now Devon and Scotty can’t trust Jason, and Jason will not be working at the consistent club again for a long time, if ever. In order to get an absurdly underpriced $50 booking, Jason (and his newborn baby girl) has now lost thousands of dollars.

Don’t fuck with people.

So then - what is the moral of this story? Stupid strippers make $50 for a booking and lose out on recurring gigs that pay well, because they don’t have the foresight to see how collaboration helps everyone. No matter what your career is, you are a fool if you think people won’t find out how you have abused their trust. It is inevitable that your choices will catch up with you.

I hope Jason has lots of coupons for diapers and baby formula…

This has nothing to do with exotic dance. Autumn is my favorite time of year, and the Blue Ridge Parkway is my favorite part of the United States. I’m driving to Boone, NC to see the leaves as they come into their full colors. I go to Boone and drive the Parkway down to Asheville, NC once each season every year. I love it there so much - one of my goals in life is to have a log cabin in the mountains of North Carolina, Tennessee, or Northern Georgia with a 100-mile view of wilderness. That is just about as close to the Goddess as you can get in this earthly realm. Happy Fall to you all!!

First, I am not advocating prostitution. Second, I’m also not judging it. I’m simply going to ask you some (biased) questions that may help you to decide whether or not you want to leave the club and go to a private place:

1. Do you really need the money that badly? It’s just money, afterall. Are you being greedy or lazy? Isn’t there some other way you could make the money? Do you need such a large amount of money (assuming that you’re charging what you’re worth, which is way more than $50)? What is the cycle you are starting by doing this?
2. Have you evaluated all the risks? The legalities aside (which are problematic enough), do you know you’d be safe? At the club there are security personnel, staff, bartenders, and witnesses. Do you feel safe leaving that behind to make extra money? Even if the amount offered sounds like alot, is that amount of money worth your safety?
3. Do you know the person? How can you be sure you’re not being entrapped by a police officer? Be particularly wary of attractive men whom you’ve never seen before. Learn from George Michael’s mistakes (all of them).
4. Do you intend to use protection in this encounter? Nothing is full proof, but condoms help reduce the risk of catching many unpleasant diseases (not all of them, however). Even if this person doubles their offer to go raw, will that amount of money be enough to pay for your medical treatment if you end up needing it?
5. By doing this, will you be violating the rule that you should avoid doing anything that will cause you embarrassment, shame, pain, or guilt?

If you have read all these questions and still think leaving the club is okay, then that is the choice you are left with. However, my suggestion is that you think carefully before you commit to anything. This isn’t an issue of being a prude - it’s an issue of being practical. Know your values and stick with them, whatever they are. That is essential in any job, but particularly important in this one.