Devon Hunter

There is an art to giving a good lap dance, but there is also an art to receiving them. There are some people to whom I greatly enjoy giving dances, because they are so good at getting them. That might seem strange, but here are a few considerations while receiving your lap dance:

1. It may seem like a no-brainer, but please shower before you come to the club.
2. Brushing your teeth is good too.
3. The first few times you get a dance from an entertainer offer the cash up front. Once the dancer knows you, he’ll be more likely to be relaxed and let you pay afterwards.
4. Try to keep your knees closer together – it helps the dancer remain balanced while he’s standing over you.
5. Every person and place has different rules. Ask what type of touching is appropriate.
6. Wear khakis or some other soft material – denim hurts. (see strip club etiquette)
7. Avoid trying to put your fingers where they shouldn’t go. You may get an unexpected smack, or worse.
8. It’s usually offensive to negotiate – if you get quoted something you feel is truly ridiculous you can say something, but $20 for a song is pretty standard (yes, that’s $20 per song – expect to pay more per song if the dancer is wearing less). Don’t act like you’re in a Turkish market: This isn’t a rug you’re trying to dicker for.
9. A brief hug and some light chatting afterwards is acceptable, but avoid extending it into a conversation – the entertainer probably has to get situated or re-primped, and the club owners expect us to be walking around talking to people or on stage dancing. It’s not intended to be rude when we have to frolic off after your dance is completed.
10. Saying “thank you” is very endearing.

It’s natural, I think, to want to make as much money as possible, given that cash is the life’s blood of the economy we live in. I may not like it, but money is necessary. Sometimes I get so tired of chasing after a buck, but then I realized something today: I enjoy what I get paid to do, and that isn’t something to take lightly.

Often, entertainers (especially strippers, see differentiation here) will exaggerrate how much they make. We often claim to make a ridiculous sum of money, and some very well may; however, for the most part people say they make $x, when in fact it’s probably closer to $1/2 x, or even $1/3 x. Why the inflated claims? Because we don’t want to seem unattractive – if we admit to making only $1/3 x, then that must mean we’re ugly or unsuccessful. So, you end up with lots of bogus numbers when you try to get a feel for how well the night has been going (i.e. is everyone having a “good/bad/slow/busy” shift, or is it just me?).

I had been getting frustrated, because I know what I make, and I’m pretty candid about it if another entertainer asks. When I would try to check in with people, rather than simply saying, “I’m doing alright/good/bad tonight,” they’d said, “I’m already at $ridiculous!” I finally realized how much some people lie when a young stripper I know in Charlotte claimed to have made $1,500 one weekend at Chaser’s. <stifles laughter> Mhm, you better make that money, baby… (how do you draw an eye roll emoticon?)

Anyway, this is what I realized: The fact that I make any money at all, let alone more than I need, is a real reason to celebrate and be thankful. An entertainer I know from Swinging Richards, Carlos, brought that into my mind last weekend. He said, “If I make $200, I’m happy. If I make $400, I’m happy. Being greedy or attaching the amount you make to what you yourself are worth is only going to be a reason to be upset.”

He’s right. All the affirmations I receive from what I do have a whole new value now. When someone compliments me by saying something nice, or by giving me a tip, or by giving me a private dance, I have to simply accept that all these little niceties add up to a big truth (a truth that is sometimes difficult to accept): I am attractive. I am nice. I am doing a good job.

Whether anyone who gives me affirmations reads this or not, I want to send a thought out to them and to the Universe at large: THANK YOU. I am so grateful that I have the opportunity to do something that I enjoy, and I am sincere when I say that I am finally beginning to feel content with myself. Again, thank you.

How’s this for a little verbal exchange I had this weekend: “I don’t tip dancers.” “That’s why we don’t talk to you.” “Why do you degrade yourself this way?”

Wow. Let’s look at that scenario again… who do you think is feeling degraded by being in that club? It’s rather funny to me that so many people assume that being an entertainer is degrading. Hell, my mother even told me I should do it, so what’s a total stranger’s disapproval worth by comparison? How do you know I don’t derive satisfaction (and dare I say it?) pleasure or even pride from what I do?

Before you presume that all dancers must be pitiful, drug-addicted, broke, homeless miscreants, consider the following: I make in a night what many people make in one-three weeks; I drive a sweet convertible; I pay all my bills; I eat organic food; I have a personal trainer; I donate time/money to my community; I love my work; I have underwear that costs more than your outfit; and everyone in my family, all my friends, and my day-time job boss know what I do, and none of them have a problem with it. Sounds like I’m in a downward spiral. My life really sucks.

Hahahahahahahaha - I wish everyone loved their life as much as I love mine. If you think I’m degrading myself, maybe you should re-examine what it is you think you want from your own job and stop worrying about mine.

Wow, I’ve come down with the type of lowgrade flu/cold that makes you move in slow motion… But, gotta shake it for the car payment… It took me about an hour to finally get the gumption to get out of bed. This is one of the least sexy sensations I’ve had in a while – people don’t always appreciate how hard it is to look perky at 2 a.m. I think I’m wearing my glasses tonight. Ugh, I’m having a stripper melt down…