Devon Hunter

I have been asked a few times about this, and I have avoided talking about it, not because I’m squeamish, but because I wanted to treat it with some delicacy (much as I would want my insertive partner to treat my delicate little hoo-haw with some delicacy as well). I am writing this for a few practical reasons:

1. I want clients new to the experience of being the receptive partner to arrive at our rendez-vous properly and thoroughly prepared
2. I may offer something that is safer or more comfortable than what others may already be doing
3. I may be doing something improperly, and I want readers to offer a better method, if necessary

Before I begin, I would also point readers to the following article:

http://manhuntdaily.com/2009/05/dr-queerlove-bottoming-101/

Although I feel that article (and the accompanying discussion) says basically everything that can be said, the particular questions I receive have to do with prepping for the long haul on set while filming a video. Everything in that Manhunt article sounds good to me, but in a nut-shell, this is what I do when I know I am going to be the receptive partner over the course of a long period of time (as quoted from my recent response on the post about “Fresh off the Vine”):

“… I begin fasting the night before. If a scene is set for noon on Saturday, then I finish eating whatever I am having by 10 pm on Friday, and it is probably something very lean, clean, and manageable (i.e. I had sushimi [sushi without rice] every meal while shooting for Falcon 2 weeks ago). I prep in the morning from about 10 am – 11:15 am (which includes time for a shower and skin care), arrive on set around 11:45 am, and I don’t eat until the scene is finished. I don’t know whether or not everyone is equally fastidious (or if they even have to be – I know my body, not anyone else’s). Each person has a different metabolism. But that is what I do (and although it may sound morbid, my years of being anorexic have taught me how to get through the hunger pangs).”

To clarify a few points:

• There are some days it’s just not going to happen, and you will experience the law of diminishing returns. Repeatedly flushing the bowel, on some days, will not yield much clearer water but will aggravate the bowel more and more with each attempt. You have to decide if the clarity of the water is “good enough,” or if you are simply going to forgo penetration that day. If you start cramping, regardless of the clarity of the water coming out of you, you have done far too much and need to stop and reconsider if today is the day for intercourse.
• It is a VERY BAD idea to use full dosages of enemas over the long haul, and NEVER more than once in a 24-hour period. If you want/need to use a premixed enema, I suggest the Fleet pre-mixed, disposable enema in a 4.5-ounce bottle. It contains Sodium Phosphate. HOWEVER: It is best to not over-do the prep work, or you will be at greater risk for injury or infection from inflaming the bowel and disrupting the flora of the intestines. If you use an enema, use 1/3 of the bottle that I just described (or you could pour all the enema mix out, and refill the bottle with luke warm tap water – the residue from the enema will still work, but will be much less aggressive).
• You want to do as much as possible in as few steps and in as little time as possible, so as to avoid inflammation.
• If you decide to use a water stream, rather than an anal bowl douche, DO NOT PUT THE HOSE FROM THE SHOWER INSIDE YOURSELF. Even with the water on low it will be propelled through the plumbing of your bathroom into your body at a pressure that can rupture your insides. If you want a continuous stream experience, be certain to use a product that collects water in a reservoir of some type and then trickles the water through a hose and inside your bowel. DO NOT USE DIRECT JET STREAMS OF WATER.

At this moment I would like nothing better than to flop my cock out and jerk off right quick. I’ve been flirting with a sexy body builder all morning, and I need to relieve some tension; however, I cannot.

I have appointments today, and one of them is an overnight who typically expects me to cum once before dinner and once before bed. Before that I have a client for whom I do not feel obliged to have an orgasm (being that it is only a one-hour session, and if I cum for every short appointment I would fall apart), but with whom I probably will since I’ve been engaging my fantasies all morning to no avail.

At any rate, I am not going to allow myself this simple pleasure that most take for granted, because it isn’t my orgasm to waste. I know what I charge, and I would be pissed if a professional I had hired couldn’t perform his duties. And so, the body builder will have to wait. Perhaps he will be with me in spirit this afternoon…

So then… What makes for a good kiss (and by extension, a good kisser)? It’s an important question, because for many people kissing skills are the foundation upon which someone is deemed a good lover as well. Let me offer my suggestions and observations. I am after all, a professional.

First, hygiene is of the utmost importance. All your practice and technique will be for naught if you do not have a clean mouth. Daily brushing and rinsing, along with frequent flossing, are NOT enough. Everyone knows about toothpaste, gum, rinse, and breathmints… however… there is a critical step that is so often overlooked that I feel I finally have to speak out: If you do not scrape your tongue, you are doing only half the work. My suggestion is that you do a quick brushing with water only, that you then floss, followed by brushing with toothpaste, THEN SCRAPING, and end it all with a nice rinse. (Edit: Click this link to read about tongue cleaners.)

Important note: The mouth is home to hundreds of types of bacteria. Some of them are dangerous to health; however, many of them protect you. Cleaning your mouth removes a significant portion of these microbes from your mouth for about 30 minutes. You should not go through the process of cleaning your mouth before kissing/sex, unless you can do it at least 30 minutes prior. This not only allows for the stopping of any bleeding, it also allows the good flora and mucus in your mouth to recover and help defend you from cooties. If you don’t have 30 minutes, use a sugarless breathmint.

Aside from hygiene, one must consider technique and presentation. It matters not whether you kiss dry, wet, open mouthed, closed, passionately, softly, aggressively, or deeply. It matters not if you peck, smooch, or lay it on thick. What matters most is that you constantly pay attention to the responses you are getting from your partner(s). THAT is the technique most people forget: The art of observing. Different strokes for different folk – avoid presuming that what got person A in a tizzy will work for person B. The best kissers are the ones who both lead and follow. Those who employ variety. And those who kiss to please others as much (if not more) than themselves.

I could go on, but in the interest of brevity I will focus on one third detail. Eyes. I don’t remember where I read it (probably an out-dated book on Southern manners), but I agree with it for some reason I do not understand: Do not trust someone who kisses with his eyes open. It’s fine to open and look some, but a person who kisses with the eyes constantly wide open will often be a selfish person, both in and out of bed. I don’t know why this is. It would require analysis by a professional psychologist. But I do know this: Whenever I have opened my eyes briefly and found the man glaring back at me, I have found (upon retrospect) that these are the men who have later hurt me the most. Kissers who stare give themselves away. CLOSE YOUR EYES, AND LET YOUR MIND BE YOUR SIGHT.

Devon Hunter: How do you want readers to know you? What name do you use, what is the name of your site, and what is the address online for it?
Lars: I am Lars. I actually have two sites I created to help the escort industry: One is for escorts (http://blacklistednow.blogspot.com) and one is for clients (http://beforeyoucome.blogspot.com). I think you were contacting me about BlackListedNow, so I’ll try and answer your questions here pertaining to that site.

DH: What is the purpose of your site?
Lars: BlackListedNow helps warn other escorts about problem clients. Clients who don’t show up for appointments, clients who lack respect when dealing with escorts, clients who don’t pay escorts, and of course, more serious situations (such as a client saying he’s going to use a condom, but then doesn’t; or a client who mentally or physically harms an escort).

DH: Is there a particular experience that finally made you feel compelled to create your page?
Lars: I have a number of friends who are escorts, and I felt bad for them when I would hear that they had a “no show.” I used to work in the industry, and I know how frustrating it is to get all ready for an appointment, only to have someone not even show up. It’s also quite rude.

I think it’s important to mention here that there are several sites that review male escorts (DaddysReviews.com being the most famous). But BlackListedNow is the only site that deals with negative clients specifically for the benefit of male escorts.

DH: Do you envision your site being used by other types of adult entertainers besides male escorts?
Lars: Not sure which other entertainers you mean. I’m thinking about porn models or exotic dancers. In order to put the negative client’s information “out there” you would need something that they don’t want the public to see, like a phone number. Male dancers, for example, don’t easily get that sort of information from their audience members.

DH: Do male escorts with problems with female clients ever post, or has it been all same-sex situations?
Lars: To date I think the website only shows issues with male clients. Negative situations with women do exist, but perhaps they’re not the same issues that I’ve described above. Perhaps guys feel they’re not appropriate to post on the site?

DH: Have you found that escorts feel empowered by creating a form of accountability for clients who disrespect them?
Lars: Absolutely. I hear this in feedback from them, time and time again.

DH: Are there protocols in place to make sure miffed escorts aren’t simply being vindictive towards someone who doesn’t deserve to be black listed?
Lars: To be honest with you, I don’t think that happens often. Escorts have their hands full, and
being vindictive takes time. In this industry, time really is money. To put one’s effort and time towards a client who didn’t really do anything wrong is to take time from appointments, prepping for appointments, advertising, working out, grooming, keeping one’s place clean, dealing with toys after their use, and the other demands that go on in an escort’s life.

Having said that, I will also say that there have been exactly two times when a client has contacted me to say he disagreed with the escort’s post. Those times I’ve contacted the escort to see if I could help work it out, and both times their contact information didn’t go through. I ended up pulling the original complaints. It’s not a perfect solution, but it seemed reasonable to me.

DH: Right now your site is specific to Washington, D.C. Are there any plans to expand it, so that people in other areas can make use of the board?
Lars: If someone contacts me and shows me they have a relationship to D.C., they are on it. For example, I recently had an escort from D.C. who was working in Dallas for a week, and he had an issue with a guy there – I posted that. I don’t have plans to expand it nationwide, unless someone wants to get behind me financially and back such a venture…

DH: How much effort does it require on your part to maintain the site, and does this affect your vision of how it might evolve?
Lars: I started this to help other escorts in the D.C./Maryland/Virginia areas. It’s still relatively small, because I’ve gotten area-specific. So it doesn’t really take too much time. I don’t get paid for doing this, so I’m not interested in having it grow more unless (sorry to repeat myself here) a financial backer came along.

DH: What direct/indirect benefits does your page provide to a) Adult entertainers, b) yourself, c) potential clients, and do you have any ambition to promote your site to further legal/social causes connected to sex workers in your area (or on a larger scale)?
Lars: I’ll take the second question first. I would be open to promoting the site to further legal/social causes connected to sex workers, but I’m not doing anything with that right now (if anyone has any ideas out there, contact me on that, please!)

There are three main benefits for escorts. One is that they gain a feeling of empowerment. The second is that if the client wants to work the negative situation out with the escort, they can do so, which usually results in a monetary compensation to the escort. The third benefit is more indirect: This sort of site helps to foster greater respect from clients. After all, any truly good relationship is built on mutual respect – and that is something many people seem to forget when hiring escorts.
As for potential clients… well, I think it might actually scare some clients away from hiring anyone, for fear of getting blacklisted. But in an indirect way, I’d like to believe that it benefits potential clients by boosting the transaction up a bit – I mean, making it more respectful. When people need to be accountable for their actions, everyone benefits. I suppose it indirectly affects everyone, because the industry ultimately becomes more professional.

I drive around a great deal. And there are times when the faint business voice in my head clamors a bit louder than normal, or when my well of patience finally runs dry, and I get fed up enough to remove a club from my itinerary. And Secrets has teetered on that razor edge since the very first booking I had there a few months ago. But there are many factors to consider before going that route.

First, I need the variety. I get bored quickly. I like to think this is symptomatic of rampant intelligence, but I’d not be surprised to find it simply betrays a short attention span. At any rate, it’s good to move around and remain as new as possible to as many people as possible. And yet, if a club isn’t properly primed, the patrons may not know how to show appreciation to entertainers. Cutting a club from the list is limiting in ways that can be helpful or hurtful.

Next, for me to really completely write a venue off (especially after having frequented it), I have to be pretty near irreconcilably pissed off about something that truly matters: There’s a difference between taking a break and saying “never again.” There’s a club in Macon, GA that has this status: When Scotty and I walked in they asked us, “Are you going to be sucking cock over here or over there? We need to know where to set the screens up.” Ahem. That booking was okay as far as money, and they didn’t wrangle over the fee, but they’re impossible to coordinate with (because both owners send emails separately without conferring first). So. Never again, Macon. I needed an extended break from PT1109 in Columbia, but I’m almost ready to go again. Swinging Richards is its own little vortex, but I do admit that I’ve missed not being there for the past several weeks.

Lastly (for now), I have to consider the connections I’ve made in various places. True, I find Secrets to be incredibly mismanaged on many levels. True, the money has never justified the travel required to get there. True, I find it to be ridiculously exploitative to be required to walk around naked with an erection and no guarantee of income. However…

I have made some wonderful friends in D.C. Hopefully they know who they are, and I think they know what I mean when I use the word “friend.” I would like to think I’ve made it clear to them how much I like and appreciate them. I really enjoy D.C. as a city (except for the damn “roads” and “drivers”), at least the Northwest quadrant, anyway. And I would like them to know that if it weren’t for the anchor of my dance company, I would probably move to D.C. this fall, since my lease ends in September. But there are connections in Charlotte that I’m not willing to sever just yet.

And so, despite the frustration I contend with at Secrets, I will continue (no matter what I say) to book myself there. These amazing people add something to my trip that is worth more than the cash which I do or do not make at the club. They are more valuable to me than mere money. They are treasures unto themselves. And so then: How could I not include Secrets? Cutting Secrets would mean walking away from far more than I’m willing to sacrifice.

(Tu sais bien, Monsieur SS, que tu me manques déjà, et que je ne peux guère attendre à te revoir.)