Devon Hunter

Adult Entertainment: A multifaceted industry.

Return to “Establishing a Career in Adult Entertainment: Index”

This is a very long entry. Part 3 will be much shorter. In this installment I am going to briefly discuss several of the career paths within the Adult Entertainment Industy, so that you can consider some of the possibilities (and combinations thereof). Subsequent installments of this series will fill out the picture, so please do not look for exhaustive resources within this entry: This posting is just a list with some precursory impressions. Please note that I am not going to focus on anything having to do with production and/or management, so be sure you keep “behind the scenes” options in mind and do further research if that is where your interests lie. Some of these types of “behind the scenes” careers, though not all, are as follows:

• Websites
  • Web development
  • Recruitment
  • Advertising
  • Blogging
• Talent Management/Agency work
• Video Direction
• Video Production
  • Music
  • Photography
  • Videography
  • Editing
• Club event manager/director (Note: Here is a link to other club-specific ideas for you to consider, especially after retirement.)

Alright, on to those options that I am going to treat with more depth and consideration. I am going to focus on those modalities that I have experienced myself, and about which I can speak with confidence. We are going to look at Live Performance, Modeling, and Personal Interaction. Please keep your unique combination of attributes and challenges in mind: Just because you’re a gorgeous model doesn’t mean you have the personality and temperament to be a successful escort. Just because you are confident dancing on stage doesn’t mean you can have sex in front of several people with the cameras rolling. Not all aspects of Adult Entertainment are for everyone: Select those modalities that play to your strengths. If you’re a porn superstar but suck at personal interaction, fine. If you are not particularly photogenic but can make people feel great in person, fine. If you ham it up on cam but clam it up on stage, fine. Know thyself. I, personally, have my preferences, which I have already described, but I can still give you advice concerning a wide variety of modalities based on personal experience or first-hand conversation.

Live Performance

• Dancers
  • Pole – This is an art form and sport completely unto itself, and although most club patrons will not necessarily appreciate the skill involved, pole dancing can still be incorporated into live performances. Be careful about oily strippers (who work my nerves). Also, take care that you keep alcohol wipes and/or hand sanitizer handy. A really bad MRSA infection in 2007 almost took my right leg off at the knee, so be prepared to IMMEDIATELY cleanse any scratches, scrapes, punctures, or other tears/perforations in your skin.
  • Chair – Giving lap dances may or may not be permitted in a particular club. Familiarize yourself with local laws. Here are some instructional videos I compiled. I have not checked to see if these links still work, but hopefully the summation will be of help to you, even if the links are broken. Here are a few red flags to look out for when you’re at a new club and don’t trust that the place has a stripping/chair dance license.
  • Stage
    • Stripper – The “advantage” to being a stripper is that the expectations are low, and therefore easy to surpass; however, in all ways it is probably more rewarding to aspire to being an exotic dancer. Although the terms “stripper” vs “exotic dancer” are interchangeable in the general public’s vocabulary, they are not the same in my opinion.
    • Exotic Dancer – If you enjoy live performance, you might consider being an exotic dancer. You do not necessarily need to be a trained dancer, or even a very good mover. You need a friendly disposition, the ability to tolerate being touched in ways you might not normally welcome (here are some thoughts about touching), and the confidence to tolerate the process of sorting out those patrons who are interested in you and those who are not. In my video interview for RentMen I said I got tired of the financial risks associated with dancing in clubs: You have to find a venue, hope people show up, hope they like you, hope they have money, and then hope they are willing to give it to you. To that mix you add dancing all night and putting up with drunks, and it can get very exhausting. Work hard, but don’t kill yourself. With that said, I danced in clubs for over 10 years, and mostly I had a blast – it can be SO MUCH FUN!
    • Burlesque – This is a dying form unfortunately. It is a style of exotic dance that employs humor, theatricality, and costumes simultaneously. Even when not funny, there is still the theatrical component(s). It can be introspective, dark, joyous, empowering, etc. Sadly, most gay male patrons at clubs have been programmed by the internet to expect “insta-dick,” and have zero patience or appreciation for the burlesque. It’s a shame, because burlesque has the capacity to add so many layers of interest to the performance. Why stop at raw sexuality? Why not add something more to it? Meh… “insta-dick” has its place, but is overrated. You have to adapt to the market. If you dance at Swinging Richards in Atlanta, expect to be heckled by the straight dancers (who make up +90% of the performers) and DJ’s for doing anything beyond shaking your penis. Other clubs may be more accepting of costumes/themes/choreography, but don’t expect it.
    • Go-go – This is a form of exotic dancing whereby you remove no clothing. That is the legal distinction in most places: Stripping involves starting with clothing and removing it, but go-go dancing means you come out sporting what you will wear throughout the entire performance. Find out whether your venue has a stripping permit (and a lap dance permit as well), because the act of removing items of clothing during a performance is illegal in some places. Find out what you can and cannot show, and come out already revealing that much, if the venue in question does not allow stripping.
    • Instructors – If you love to perform, but not for tips, and not in front of audiences, then once you have the required skills you could get paid to teach others to do them. Consider being an instructor if you know how to perform, but cannot/do not wish to do it for groups of people other than your students. Look for studios in your area that offer classes in exotic dancing and pole dancing – they are more common than you might think. Once you have mastered the skills, get paid sharing your knowledge with others.
• Phone Models (Edit: Added 5/15/11) – These entertainers create a world of fantasy within which clients can be immersed without any visual information: The mind is allowed to fill in all the blanks. If you have a really sexy voice, and are not intimidated by live action dialogue, then this may be the choice for you (especially if your physical appearance doesn’t fit within the parameters commonly associated with Adult Entertainment). This can be a very lucrative form of entertainment, but it is very demanding on your time, and you should be creative and invest a sizable amount of energy in creating your character(s). You must be able to fall into that reality at the drop of a hat (or ring of a phone), and you will have to completely maintain whatever illusion you are masterfully spinning – without visual cues it will be imperative not to interrupt the fantasy. You will be discussing a wide variety of sexualities, so define a list up front (and let it evolve as you go along) of which topics are taboo. As in all permutations of Adult Entertainment, the entertainer must be in control (even when appearing to have relinquished it). As with Cam Models, set up a regular schedule, build your audience over time, and be consistent. Look for companies that give you a great deal of support throughout and orientation up front.
• Cam Models
  • Scheduled/Moderated – If you are not comfortable with interacting with clients in person, but would enjoy doing live shows within a secured environment, then consider cam modeling. Whereas dancers make their money by some combination of fees and tips (minus paying the bar/door/DJ in some venues), cam models with pre-scheduled shows are generally paid a set fee for each session (which often lasts 60-90 minutes). As with other forms of video work, you need to know up front what is to be expected of you, so that you can decide if a particular site works for you and your sexual repertoire. Unless you are already a well-known model, do not expect the fee for each show to be particularly high. Set up your weekly schedule, keep it, build a loyal audience, and over time you may start receiving tips on top of your modeling fee. If you cam model from home you will often be responsible for purchasing the necessary equipment. If you do it through a studio, this should be a non-issue. The site moderators will give your chat session their full attention, and will help immediately with any problems.
  • Free form – If you want the flexibility of modeling at your own convenience you can consider being a free form cam model. You will set up your own schedule, and you will almost certainly have to supply your own equipment. Your employing site provides you with an audience. You are paid a fee for each minute you are in private chat. You make nothing while in the public chat room, which is why the models are constantly asking viewers to go to private chat. I found it boring, schlocky, and aggressive. Some people can do extremely well in this milieu; however, it was killing me to sit in bed all day trying to make 120-minute-quotas over the course of 4-, 6-, or 8-hour shifts. It’s also hectic to jump in and out of clothes in 30 seconds or less while going into and out of private sessions. I found that this form of modeling was far, far too grueling to be worth the money generated. I don’t recommend it, but it is definitely an option. Also know that the moderators have to watch multiple chat feeds simultaneously, so you will have to handle some of your problems on your own, and the equipment/software is very often riddled with buggy programming. The main advantage here is the flexibility in scheduling.

Modeling

• Audio – I don’t know that it’s particularly common, but if you have a really sexy voice you might consider hiring out your spoken words. I have not known anyone who has done it specifically; however, it is something to consider.
• Photography
  • Artistic Nudes – Photographers come in two categories: Reliable/Honest and Unreliable/Shady. Choose the former, unless you have a very good reason to go with the latter. Trust your instinct. Artistic nude photography is any type of imaging that makes the body, or some aspect of it, into the artistic expression itself. Be up front about what you will and will not do, and then follow through. Many photographers do Pics for Trade (PFT), rather than paying a fee. PFT means you don’t charge the photographer a sitting fee and the photographer doesn’t charge you a fee for capturing/editing the images. You should expect to receive as “payment” between 5-15 polished images back within 14 days. If you insist on charging a fee, you may not have many opportunities to work, since most photographers simply don’t have much of a budget. Use PFT scenarios to bolster/develop a portfolio that you can use in other aspects of your career. Your contracted release will prevent your ever collecting any residuals.
  • Erotic – This style of imagery ups the ante. The body is still the medium of artistic expression, but it will be within sexualized parameters and themes, whereas in artistic nudes this is not the case. The nudity here is presented for the specific purpose of eliciting desire in the audience, whereas nudity in Artistic Nudes is incidental. Everything else you should consider when doing Erotic shoots is mentioned in “Artistic Nudes.” Again, expect to give up your rights to future payments.
  • Sexual – If you do a Sexual shoot you should expect to be captured in poses (or in the process) of doing something overtly sexual. This may include penetration and/or other actual sex acts, and therefore you will need to keep all the same considerations in place as if you were hooking up with someone. Be sure to practice safer sex on the set. I would not do Sexual shoots for PFT – I would expect a fee for this. You have to make your own choices in this regard, but I would demand a fee, and before the shoot I would ask for a 50% deposit (unless the photographer is known to me already). Expect to sign away your rights to the use or control of these images and no further payment.
• Video
  • Gay-for-Pay: These sites (claim to) use heterosexual models, and they use that heterosexuality as the main selling point for their product. I cannot stress enough that if you are a gay model that you should not work for gay-for-pay sites. See “Know Before You Go, part 1″ and accept that there are other pornographers who behave in this same manner, but who do not pay as well as Sean Cody (adding insult to injury). Be warned: If you have heard a company is difficult to work for, believe it. AVOID BAREBACKING.
  • Gay neutral: These sites do not mention the sexuality of the models. Watch snippets of videos, read about the companies on gay porn blogs (e.g. GayPornFanatic, JustUsBoys, TommyWells, MyQueerAmerica, MenOfColor (MOC), MenOfPorn, QueerMeNow, JackManly, etc.), read what commentators are saying about the various companies, and try to glean what kind of experience you might expect to have. Also look for adult video models on Twitter and Facebook – approach (POLITELY) those models who work for companies you are considering, and ask them about what to expect. Do not be surprised if they are reticent about talking to you: This is a gossipy industry, and many models may not feel comfortable saying anything critical out of concern for losing future work. See “Know Before You Go, part 2″ for a comparison and contrast of a few of the companies for whom I have worked. AVOID BAREBACKING.
  • Gay affirming: These sites use openly gay models (as well as bisexual and heterosexual models), avoid homophobic scenarios, and generally celebrate same-sex imagery without adding anything particularly detrimental to gay identity. Before you run off and do anything that cannot be undone, make sure you read “Know Before You Go, part 3″ and consider the questions therein. AVOID BAREBACKING.

Personal Interaction

• Sex Workers: Please note that there is no single definition or consistent thought pattern about the terms I am going to use here. For consistency’s sake throughout this series, when I use these terms, this is how I mean them; however, there are probably as many opinions about this as there are individuals offering these services. Also note that many sex workers are malleable, and can fill different functions for different scenarios and clients.
  • Hustler/Gigolo – Once called “rough trade” (though that term has generally fallen out of use), these are the gay-for-pay M4M sex workers. Although they come in various sizes, colors, and qualities, they are still straight. My concern is that hustlers hustle. My experience (after listening for years to the stories told by straight dancers/hustlers in strip clubs all over the USA) is that most hustlers either do not follow through on the agreed scenarios and/or mug/rob their clients on a regular basis. This is not always the case of course, but hustlers tend to cater to the “rough trade” image that they brag about in the dressing rooms at Swinging Richards and Secrets. As a warning to potential clients reading this, see the following entries: “An open rant to fags who fixate on breeders,” “Where is the love?,” and “Gay men fawning over straight dancers.” Clients can hope for better treatment, but should expect a 1-star experience.
  • Prostitute – A prostitute is someone who exchanges sexual activities for money. Prostitutes negotiate their fees based on the actions to be performed. These are generally performed quickly and with no interpersonal connection. This type of service is convenient for sex workers who are not interested in getting to know their clients, who prefer quick turn over, and who are interested primarily in the money paid. This type of service is convenient for clients who are interested in a very short session with a set fee, who do not want to know anything about the sex worker, and who have very little time to spare. Note that prostitution is illegal in most places, and is defined as the exchange of money for sex (or the assumption that money will be exchanged as a result of an agreement about sexual acts). Clients should expect a 1- or 2-star experience.
  • Escort – An escort is someone who charges a fee based on timed appointments, and is presentable in public places (hence the term). A client would not need to worry that an escort would seem conspicuous at various events; however, the exchange is very business oriented and interpersonal connection is limited. Whatever sexual activity that happens is between consenting adults and is not included as a definite part of the transaction (though the client’s interests are noted in advance), and there is no expectation of developing a rapport. The escort merely escorts. This type of service is convenient for sex workers who prefer to meet clients in public to get acquainted, who prefer the structure and context of a social function, and who are interested in entertaining clients for appointments up to about 8 hours or so (but usually more toward 1-4 hours). This type of service is convenient to clients who do not want to attend events alone, who want the comfort of a social introduction, and who need an understood assurance of discretion. Clients should expect a 3-star experience, perhaps even a 4-star.
  • Companion – A companion is someone who sets fees based on durations of time, and makes a personal investment in tailoring an appointment to a client’s tastes. Although escorts are sex workers whom clients can take out in public if desired, escorts’ services do not extend beyond being pretty at clients’ sides (whether in public or private). Companions are just that: They are pretty at clients’ sides, but companions are interested in knowing their clients intimately. This type of service is convenient to sex workers who prefer investing in getting to know their clients as people, looking for opportunities to build on-going and repeating scenarios, and forging bonds that allow for a potentially deep and casual friendship. This type of service is convenient to clients who prefer developing intimacy, trust, and potential friendships. Companions are willing and able to spend protracted amounts of time with their clients. Clients should expect a 4-star experience, but may be pleasantly surprised with the occasional 5-star treatment.
  • Courtesan – A courtesan is someone who sets fees based on (often protracted) durations of time, makes a personal investment in tailoring an appointment to a client’s tastes, and brings a sophisticated level of refinement, artistry, and distinction to the highly polished exchange. All this often elevates the appointment to a life experience. Courtesans are often educated at the highest levels or have notable talents in various disciplines, and (in addition to physical beauty) often bring as many intellectual assets to the table as the clients themselves. These tend to be subtle relationships that last a very long time. Clients should expect a 5-star experience, but should be able to invest in providing one to the Courtesan in return.
• Massage
  • Erotic – If you are willing to give massages in the nude, be sure to know what your personal limits are. Explain these clearly in advance, and do not bend on your rules. Also note that many areas are very strict about operating a business without a permit/license in a facility that isn’t zoned for commerce. A masseur near Atlanta, GA in 2010 faced multiple fines for setting up his studio in his home, because the apartment didn’t have the proscribed exits and features required of commercial spaces. This then grew into a tangle of other legal complexities. Do your homework, make solid plans, network with other masseurs/therapists, and get certified.
  • Sexual – These massages end with release. In addition to the concerns for erotic body work, you will also need to consider the points presented under the sections for sex workers.

Return to “Establishing a Career in Adult Entertainment: Index”

(*Devon breaks up the stuffy air of the classroom by playing this video before the series begins: Click here to see “Velvet Jones School of Technology” by Eddie Murphy)

I am an educated, talented, intelligent, attractive and kind person. That isn’t arrogance, baby. That’s truth! And that (in my mind) is the distinction between arrogance and pride: As T.I. said, “Errbody kno it ain’t trickin’ if ya got it.” And that introduction isn’t meant to elevate myself above you or anyone else. Remember Janet Jackson’s suggestion: “Don’t compare yourself to anyone else. Comparisons are almost always harmful. Comparisons mean there’s a winner and loser – and you’re the one who winds up feeling like a loser.” We each have our own collection of advantages and vulnerabilities, and so your exquisite beauty may be nothing like mine at all (and yet your unique embodiment of “Awesome!” is still precious). All this is simply my way of telling you, directly, what attributes will benefit you – if you want to continue in this direction. And if you do, there are some great clients, beautiful places, and wonderful experiences to be shared!!

There are so many people who need to experience some of your goodness; however, you have to also have the fortitude and wisdom to know when and how much to give of yourself. Also know that giving is balanced with receiving: Never work for free, no matter your profession. The cycle of Giving-Receiving is a healthy and happy expression of interconnection and sharing, whereas sacrifice will leave you embittered (and taking is disempowering to others). Always Give-Receive, never sacrifice-take. Work yourself into wealth, not poverty. This is my drawn out way of saying that you must know your worth, expect to get the success you deserve, and enact your style of honest beauty into everything you do. If you do this, you will attract people seeking the same, and that is the journey toward success.

Who can be an Adult Entertainer? Anyone who is approaching the industry with a level head and without desperation. I wrote “Who should NOT be a dancer?” back in April, 2009. I will explore these nuances more in subsequent parts of this series, but for now you should take some time to do some intensive reflection on who you are as a person, what your goals are, and why you want to be in this industry. It is a great career, and you will meet some wonderful people, but no office is perfect: You will also meet people who are not wonderful.

The following links will come up again within other contexts, but consider reading these entries, if you read nothing else in this series:

• Preparing to be an exotic dancer
  • “So, you wanna be a strippa…”
  • “Grab your gear”
  • “Getting through the bad nights…”

• Preparing to be a video model
  • “Know before you go, Part 1″
  • “Know before you go, Part 2″
  • “Know before you go, Part 3″

• Preparing to be a sex worker
  • “Street walkers, walking into darkness”
  • “Red flags and time wasters”
  • “Addendum on red flags and time wasters”
  • “Escorting 101 (Don’t let this happen to you)“

What is a courtesan? I will explain this more in part 2.

When should I enter into this industry? After you have done your homework, and this series will help you do that. I will provide you with links to external resources in subsequent entries.

Where can I work? It will depend on the modality and direction your career takes. With dancing, you can go just about anywhere. With video you will be primarily in California and Florida when you do shoots within the USA. If you choose to see clients in private you will often migrate between mid- to large-sized cities (although this is not always the case).

Why would I want to be in Adult Entertainment? Why do you want to be in any career? They all have their ups and downs, and that is precisely what I hope this blog will help you decide.

How can my career be handled successfully? I can tell you how I have done it, but you will ultimately need to tailor this information to your circumstances. I hope that my mistakes, insights, and observations will help you avoid reinventing the wheel as much as possible. Work smarter, not harder!!

If, after reading this introduction, you are still interested in considering a career in Adult Entertainment, then I invite you to consider the remaining portions of this series. I hope that whatever you do, you remember to never approach anything in this industry from a position of desperation. You can have a long, rewarding, and happy career, so long as you remember to take care of your most important asset: You.

Return to “Establishing a Career in Adult Entertainment: Index”

This 13-part series is something I have been considering for a while, and the need for it became clear as I started getting more and more questions concerning topics I had already addressed. Over the course of years, the practical information in this blog has been diluted and has become difficult to find. I am going to place a link on the Favorites page. There will also be a permanent link in the sidebar leading to this index, so all 13 entries will be easily accessible at all times. This is a fluid process, and if I say something that triggers more questions, or if you have an idea that is better than what I include here, please send me an email, and I will update the relevant entry to include your suggestions. Please note that I am offering my perspective on how I have honed a successful and satisfying career in Adult Entertainment – your road will probably go in a different direction from mine; however, perhaps something in these trail guides will make your route a bit more scenic.

Part 1: I am a courtesan

Part 2: Modalities

Part 3: Research & Development

Part 4: Branding

Part 5: Advertising & Correspondence

Part 6: Clients

Part 7: Fees

Part 8: Economics

Part 9: STD’s

Part 10: Legalities

Part 11: Travel

Part 12: Diversification

Part 13: Retirement

Jack Ryan has been involved in modeling and/or video projects since 1998, so far as I can tell. He started modeling the same time I started dancing. We’ve had extraordinarily different paths in the same industry, but we’re both still here. Also, we’ve both been called role models recently. And that is something I want to address, because although I agree with that sentiment, it is with a sense of reluctance.

About a week ago Jack Ryan wrote an important article for The Advocate that you can see here. In it he talks about his experience with bareback porn and drug abuse. He also talks about his renaissance as a person who wants to own his past, take responsibility for his actions, and grow toward wisdom and happiness. Jack has had to tolerate a great deal of cynicism from cynical people who cynically (and naïvely) scoff at the notion that adult entertainers could be role models (and that it is, in fact, a sign of the degeneration of people in general that this notion would even be expressed). Well, I’m here to express support for Jack Ryan.

I was a little put off at first when I read that someone would call Jack a role model; however, after reading his story and conversing with him just a tad, I have to admit that I embrace completely what he is trying to do. And although he has already agreed to do an interview for this blog, I wanted to take a moment to weigh in on WHY he needs his story to be discussed.

There is no denying that media informs our behaviors. It is the reason that corporations are willing to spend $1M/minute during the Super Bowl for commercials. It’s the reason there are ads EVERYWHERE. It’s the reason celebrity brands are so important. We are a herd species that needs to belong, and we learn by example as we go along. And that need to learn, belong, and emulate is very often manipulated or exploited.

Is anyone going to deny my assertion in this? Is anyone going to deny that people blamed Marylin Mason for the Columbine High School Massacre; or that people blamed Sarah Palin for the shooting in Arizona; or that Elizabeth Taylor sells hundreds of millions of dollars in perfume every year; or that the news media apply spin to stories to meld public opinion (or artfully exclude information they deem “unimportant”); or that Martin Luther King, Jr. inspired an entire paradigm shift in the United States by way of his speeches on TV, radio, and newsprint?

Bear with me, I have a reason for taking my time here.

This morning on the cover of USA Today, there was a story about a series of studies that show that amongst 18- to 24-year-old college students that committed relationships are down, hooking up is common, and that premarital virginity is on the rise. I invite you to read this before you go on. Okay, did you get all that?

What is the resource people turn to when they don’t feel like bothering to hook up? What is the resource virgins are using? Because virgins aren’t learning with partners, what is teaching them what they know about fucking? What has become so common that young people are “blasé toward sex?”

Pornography.

Whether the fine, upstanding people who have been trashing Jack Ryan on Queerty like it or not, Jack and I are definitely role models. Whether we are modeling behavior worth emulating is the question at hand, not whether or not we have an audience that we influence. Have you ever heard someone make the claim that anyone subject to any degree of public scrutiny is a role model? Well, that applies to adult entertainers, too (for better or worse).

It is inconsistent to blame Marylin Manson or Sarah Palin for mass shootings (or to empower Barney the Dinorsaur to raise polite children) and then say that porn models are “just” porn models and that pornography is “just” pornography. When Jack Ryan admits an error and seeks to reverse it; when I do or say whatever it is I do or say to make @MayckoTheGenius call me “an inspirational person for so many youth;” when @RoccoGiovanni does his annual activities to raise funds for sick kids; when David-SF (my partner from “Morning Wood”) takes his annual bike ride to raise money for HIV/AIDS charities; when your local female impersonators give shows at local bars to raise money for local charities… all of that represents moments when we as adult entertainers are modeling positive behavior and seeking to influence our audiences to join in.

Does it mean we’re always perfect? No. But it doesn’t change the fact that pornography and the people in it, just like any other form of media, influence consumers, and that we have a responsibility to that audience to nudge them toward happiness, not destruction.

From time to time I encounter or learn about behavior that is so disappointing that it becomes necessary to address it as a point for Career Advice. I think it is time to bring special attention to the three most important guiding principles of Escorting as a modality of Adult Entertainment. There is (or at least there ought to be) a minimum expectation of decorum in any career, and when that lowest measure of professionalism is not only violated but on some level celebrated, a negative stereotype about Adult Entertainers is strengthened, and then it is time for me to refer back to the Mission of this blog, so that poor examples do not become the only examples.

I invite you to consider the information and videos in this story on “The Sword” before continuing, in order to understand the context of what I am going to discuss, and why I feel it is important to do so. Although each person is responsible for his/her own actions and the opportunities or consequences they create, I would like to use this space to remind both potential escorts and the reading/viewing/hiring public that negative stereotypes, although based to some extent on anecdotal situations, do NOT apply to all people within a community or industry. Here are what I consider to be the three guiding principles of Escorting:

1. Discretion – for a client’s privacy. Even if, for whatever inexplicable reason, a client were to request, permit, insist, or encourage you to publicly divulge his/her identity, you should never do so. Regardless of how well the client may think s/he has considered the consequences to him/herself, s/he probably has not considered how this will affect YOU. Being connected in any way to revealing the identity of a client will automatically make you suspect to almost all other clients who might otherwise consider hiring your time. Your judgment, sense, and discernment will be justifiably called into question. Do not bring unnecessary attention to your clients!
2. Discretion – for your behavior. You are in charge of creating your own reality, so you should consider carefully what you do publicly, especially if you are a person of renown. Clients often do a considerable amount of research before hiring a particular escort, and imitating Paris Hilton is not generally considered to be endearing. You attract that which you generate: If you generate trouble/drama/chaos, you will attract people who will create more for you. Again, I tell you to consider carefully your image and brand, so that you can attract the clients you want and enjoy a career that is rewarding to you. If you do something foolish, illegal, cruel, or controversial DO NOT BRAG ABOUT IT ON THE INTERNET (unless generating that particular hype and image helps you maintain the brand that attracts the type of clients you want). As “The Sword” illustrates, there are plenty of people who are willing to bring attention to you when you make mistakes, so you don’t need to do anything to help them. Do not bring unnecessary attention to yourself!
3. Discretion – for your opinions. Although it is true that you should be honest with others and yourself, you should also consider how diplomacy factors into what you say. Expressing shock online that a client is “hot” does not merely bring attention to one particular client’s attractiveness. It also, by default of your shock, betrays your true feelings about all your other clients, and is probably a bitter pill for them to swallow when they learn of it. This comment on the “The Sword” needs to be addressed: “Later, after he was given the ‘OK’ by the client, [the escort] tweeted a photo of them together. I concur with [the escort] that [the client] is kind of fucking sexy, for someone who hires escorts. Holy shit.” Let me say this right now: ALL TYPES OF MEN HIRE ESCORTS. I have many attractive clients, some of whom are more attractive than myself. To presume that only one particular type of man hires is to ignore the fact that any number of men will hire for any number of reasons. If you wonder what kind of man hires escorts, go to your local gourmet grocery store at 6 o’clock when everyone has left work, and take a look around at all the people there. These are the men who hire escorts. Do not bring unnecessary attention to people’s vulnerabilities!