Devon Hunter

I have been getting some emails asking what is tantamount to “Why haven’t you been giving much career advice or offering personal observations now that you’re not dancing in clubs?”

There are (what I think) three very good reasons:

1. I have been escorting for only 8 months or so. In my mind I want to have a solid year’s experience, so that I can properly look at what I have seen before I start trying to comment on it or analyze it. This summer I will start talking about the escorting in the way I used to talk about the exotic dancing; however…
2. Talking about escorting is a far more sensitive matter than exotic dancing was. When I had observations/complaints/analyses/questions before it was directed towards an anonymous, generalized audience/public. Talking about appointments opens the client up to what might be taken as personalized attacks. One reason I want to wait at least a year before I start talking about this is so that I will have a large enough body of experience that no one will know a particular situation is directed at him per se.
3. I don’t feel like I’m in a position to do so yet. I feel I can speak with authority about the clubs and dancing, because I was in them for 12 years. What’s more, once my exclusive with Sean Cody expires (finally, GOD!), I will also be doing more video work (I hope). I want to see how that component works itself into what I am already doing. I think it will offer layers of nuance that I can’t speak about yet.

So then, I hope you understand now why I’ve been focusing on my personal life more than my career in the entries for a while. I have had some pitfalls and challenges in my love life (which I have, I am happy to say, resolved for better or worse), and I felt it would be better to deal with them, rather than try to shove them to the side and risk speaking from a place of distracted ignorance. (Oh, and Pete: Yes, I finally gave up on Matt. He has been deleted and blocked - more to keep me from going back than to keep him from bothering me… he would have had to be a bit more accessible to do that, right? LOL)

I ABSOLUTELY LOVE APPLE!!! Omg! Omg! I had my iPhone and iMac syncing through MobileMe for the past week, and I have just installed Outlook 2007 on my laptop (which is Windows based), and now all three are syncing!! Do you even understand how much this will simplify my life?????

I confess: I completely resisted getting Apple products, because everything in my world has always been PC; however, there will be no problems, since Apple can work with Windows files and programs. I am so giddy that I think I’m going to just bust.  OMG! Now I will be able to keep a constant eye on how my schedule can change: If someone needs to alter his appointment/update contact info (or ask about my current availability), I will be able to discuss it immediately, because I can use my iPhone to check all those details and make changes (which have hitherto been locked away on my laptop). Any of my three pieces of technology can now be used to make changes in all of the issues surrounding contact/calendars/etc., so whether I update at home, in my hotel room, or walking around on the street all the changes get synced at once via the 20-gig cloud I now have (for remote back up and web hosting/photo galleries). I have to do work only once now, rather than in triplicate, and it happens immediately!!

OMG! All my working boys need to know about this: GET MobileMe AS SOON AS POSSIBLE! The subscription is $100 per year; however, it comes with the ability to sync across ALL your computers, remote file back up/file sharing, photo galleries, web hosting (you can publish your webpage through your MobileMe account once you own the name of your site), AND THE ABILITY TO LOCATE YOUR iPhone ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD IF IT IS LOST OR STOLEN. You can remotely lock the phone through your MobileMe account, and you can also erase everything on the iPhone in question. This is a great way of protecting yourself and your clients!! Once you get your iPhone back (or replace it), you can sync it and get all your info back in moments. OMG!

When I was first considering the transition out of the clubs and into escorting I wanted to do a lot of research first. Although it needs a new edition to update it with current technology, Aaron Lawrence’s “Getting Rich the Hard Way” was very helpful. Some of the conversations at Daddy’s blog were also informative, but a great deal of sifting is sometimes necessary to find the gems in all the silt. But what has been most helpful is having friends who do what I do.

But I’m pretty much settled into the profession now. So the reason I bring this up is because lately I’ve been getting emails from other escorts, each for different reasons. Some want to hook up, others want advice. A couple lately want to compare notes on different towns, and (I’m happy to say) a few would like to become acquainted in order to be potential friends.

Perhaps it’s an irony others haven’t considered, but despite all the intimate connections I make, I do still sometimes feel isolated. I don’t know if that’s something I create within myself, or if it’s something other companions experience too. At any rate, it really is good to have people around who can do “office talk.” LOL Everyone needs a community, n’est-ce pas? I’m glad to be hearing from other werkin’ boiz, and I hope it will yield some strong bonds.

I guess the reason I mentioned this at all is because I’ve been under quite a bit of stress lately, and it feels good to be branching out socially as a balance against that. Sometimes this career feels like a never-ending beauty pagaent with all the guys vying for Miss Congeniality, but most coming up short for the title. It is good to know that there are quite a few real people out there, and that they don’t want isolation. Here’s to new friends in 2010!

Hello Devon,

I just saw a bit of your Rentmen video interview, and have glanced at your blog.  This was enough to send you a “thank you” for your honesty, and for representing someone with talent and intelligence in the adult field.  Your pictures are great, and I believe you promised more adult work to come.  I got a “boner” when you described escorting as a “promotion” you had given yourself.

My background is also in the performing arts, and I am contemplating more adult work (I have done some), in order to help me with a career change that I have already started, toward graphic/digital design.  I am now contemplating a committed effort toward more videos and escorting in order to continue this effort, and so I found your profile to be inspiring and helpful.

I do wonder if you have felt respected in your work, since you seemed to indicate that some clients are not very nice.  I have noticed a lot of judgmental gays, even though they pay for companionship and are avid consumers of porn.  I imagine you must be finding your way, or you would not have done the video interview.

Good luck to you,

Sonny

Hello Sonny,

First, thank you for taking the time to write such a gracious letter to me. You (and many of my colleagues) prove the point I seek to make: Adult Entertainers can be (and often are) just as intelligent, kind, educated, hard working, and polite as anyone else. The voice in your email is a smart one, and I am excited to hear from someone whose story is so similar to mine.

As to your question concerning respect. I have danced in clubs, done videos, and escorted. Each is satisfying in its own way, but each also attracts criticism in its own way. Of the three, the dancing created the most numerous opportunities for disrespect (because of the face-to-face interaction with so many people); the videos provided the most public airing of insults (see: -1 + 1 = 0); and the escorting has created the most personalized forms of disrespect (given the very intimate nature of the interactions).

When you are dancing (nearly) nude, you will be open to all sorts of potshots from people in the audience. When you are on the internet this is also the case, but the people saying whatever comes to their small minds will be published for the world to see (and you probably won’t have had the pleasure of meeting the anonymous hypocrite[s] in question). And when you escort you may find yourself at the whim of timewasters and powerhungry clients who seek to dominate you with issues surrounding money.

My advice is this: If you dance, be as friendly as you can without allowing people to take advantage of you. Your bar should have a “no harrassment” policy in place. If someone is disrespectful and/or violent toward you, have his sorry ass ejected and/or banned. Do not work for a club that doesn’t support you in this manner.

If you are going to do video, you have to simply own that there is a whole strand of the human population that thrives on negativity. Make the choice to not read the discussion boards (e.g. SeanCodyReviews.com, JustUsBoys.com, etc.). They are full of unhelpful, stupid, and mean commentary that will do nothing to make you better as a person, artist, or entertainer. Look for constructive criticism, but do not look for it in those review boards.

And finally: If you decide to go into escorting, I would strongly advise that you NOT look to the forum at Daddy’s Reviews. Contact escorts directly with questions. The threads at Daddy’s take on a decidedly confrontational tone at all turns, and any value in the information you might find there gets drowned out by the ridiculous flame wars and peevish attitudes of most of the clients there (many of whom do not even hire, but merely spout off threats to not hire you if you have the audacity to formulate your own thoughts). There is very little input from escorts on those threads anymore, because most of us don’t feel like being harrassed with arguments. Listen to the advice I ignored: Do not become involved at Daddy’s. You will gain nothing from the exchanges.

Ultimately you have to define your terms for yourself. I am not obliged for any reason whatsoever to be anyone for someone else. I am Devon Hunter. You have to be Sonny. You cannot maintain any other facade. Be exactly who you are (while still being professional and kind), and extend to people the respect you want from them. But remember my platinum rule: Do unto YOURSELF as you would have others do unto you. Do not tolerate attacks to your sense of self just for money. There are lots of clients who will treat you nicely, so do not feel obligated to put up with those who would transform you into something you are not.

I wish you success,

Devon

So then… What makes for a good kiss (and by extension, a good kisser)? It’s an important question, because for many people kissing skills are the foundation upon which someone is deemed a good lover as well. Let me offer my suggestions and observations. I am after all, a professional.

First, hygiene is of the utmost importance. All your practice and technique will be for naught if you do not have a clean mouth. Daily brushing and rinsing, along with frequent flossing, are NOT enough. Everyone knows about toothpaste, gum, rinse, and breathmints… however… there is a critical step that is so often overlooked that I feel I finally have to speak out: If you do not scrape your tongue, you are doing only half the work. My suggestion is that you do a quick brushing with water only, that you then floss, followed by brushing with toothpaste, THEN SCRAPING, and end it all with a nice rinse. (Edit: Click this link to read about tongue cleaners.)

Important note: The mouth is home to hundreds of types of bacteria. Some of them are dangerous to health; however, many of them protect you. Cleaning your mouth removes a significant portion of these microbes from your mouth for about 30 minutes. You should not go through the process of cleaning your mouth before kissing/sex, unless you can do it at least 30 minutes prior. This not only allows for the stopping of any bleeding, it also allows the good flora and mucus in your mouth to recover and help defend you from cooties. If you don’t have 30 minutes, use a sugarless breathmint.

Aside from hygiene, one must consider technique and presentation. It matters not whether you kiss dry, wet, open mouthed, closed, passionately, softly, aggressively, or deeply. It matters not if you peck, smooch, or lay it on thick. What matters most is that you constantly pay attention to the responses you are getting from your partner(s). THAT is the technique most people forget: The art of observing. Different strokes for different folk - avoid presuming that what got person A in a tizzy will work for person B. The best kissers are the ones who both lead and follow. Those who employ variety. And those who kiss to please others as much (if not more) than themselves.

I could go on, but in the interest of brevity I will focus on one third detail. Eyes. I don’t remember where I read it (probably an out-dated book on Southern manners), but I agree with it for some reason I do not understand: Do not trust someone who kisses with his eyes open. It’s fine to open and look some, but a person who kisses with the eyes constantly wide open will often be a selfish person, both in and out of bed. I don’t know why this is. It would require analysis by a professional psychologist. But I do know this: Whenever I have opened my eyes briefly and found the man glaring back at me, I have found (upon retrospect) that these are the men who have later hurt me the most. Kissers who stare give themselves away. CLOSE YOUR EYES, AND LET YOUR MIND BE YOUR SIGHT.