Hello everyone! I just got back from Boston, and I wanted to share a conversation I had with the man who blogs at What the World Does not Need. James and I have chatted on and off for quite a while, and he sent me a set of questions recently after I bemoaned always being asked the same questions over and over. I was frustrated, because I didn’t get how I could be giving “exclusive” interviews if no one takes the time to ask me anything I haven’t already answered repeatedly. Well, James asked me some refreshing questions, and I think we have some nice banter. Go check out the rest of his well-written blog as well.

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Aha!!! FINALLY!! Muuuuuuuuh-nay! I’m sure some of you have been wondering when I would talk about income. Well, I think it’s time.

This entry will be brief, especially compared to many of the other entries in this series, because it is actually pretty straight forward. There are some nuances to consider, but ultimately you are in charge of managing what you are worth. Of course you are invaluable, precious, important, etc. (ad nauseum). You are unique, just like everybody else. But how does that translate into an equitable fee schedule?

Note: I am trying to speak generally, so that this section applies to all modalities of Adult Entertainment. Consider your modality (Video/Telephone Modeling, Escorting, Exotic Dance, etc.), identify who your clients are (models = companies, escorts = responders to ads, dancers = clubs/patrons, etc.), and then speak to the people who are already in the field. Do your homework, so that you do not get taken advantage of for being too low or passed over for being too high.

These are the considerations to ponder as you decide how to set your fees:

1. What are others charging? Go to your colleagues and find out. In particular, compare the fees provided by the colleagues who in some way resemble you. That isn’t necessarily physical resemblance either. Which models offer what you want to offer, and what do they charge? Do not be afraid to charge what you are worth. By keeping your fees too low you will work yourself into poverty, rather than wealth. What fee is rewarding to you, tenable to your clients, and fair to everyone involved? Too low and you will attract clients who will treat you cheaply (since you have indicated you are cheap by pricing yourself thus), too high and you will encounter resistance from people who consider you arrogant and you will work much less frequently. Be level-headed: You don’t want to be labeled negatively in either direction because of your fee schedule. As you establish your business, play with the fees until you find the schedule that affords you the quality and quantity of business you want.
2. Will you negotiate? Some do, some don’t. I, generally, do not negotiate. My fees are set, and they are comparable to what others are charging. If someone cannot afford me, then I probably cannot afford him. It’s nothing personal… It’s business. Milk and gas both cost me $4/gallon, just like anyone else. Such is the cost of living. However, when you start getting past simple bookings, perhaps there is room to budge. I have a fee schedule that takes all this into consideration. It really is much easier this way. But I have the advantage of reputation, so I don’t have to wrangle. When you are starting out, you may have to do so at first. I never did, because I always kept multiple streams of income, so that no single revenue base dominated me.
3. What is your base rate, and how can you create incentives for clients to book more? My base rate for a 1-hour in-call is $250. From there I have to consider a variety of hourly discounts for in- and out-calls. Normally I keep this information away from the general public’s casual access; however, to help you understand how I have set up my fee schedule, you can look at it by clicking this link (password: just4u). I find that it makes everything much simpler to have this information readily available, so that everyone can get past the awkward issue of payment. This is the least savory part of the deal, so you want it to be as non-intrusive as possible. In Part 5 of 13: Advertising and Correspondence, I supplied the introductory email I send to potential clients when I first hear from them. Scroll down toward the middle/bottom of that entry and refresh yourself on how I let my fee schedule be known without ever discussing money until the final confirmation.

That’s enough for now. If you have specific questions, feel free to email them. In the next installment I will offer ideas on how to manage this money once you have begun generating it.

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Before we pick up this discussion (which I apologize for delaying so long), I would encourage you to review your responses to what was mentioned in Part 4 of 13: Branding, because the way you present yourself to clients directly affects the clients who present themselves to you. Let me reiterate Devon’s Platinum Rule as well: Do unto yourself as you would have others do unto you. You set the tone for how people will interact with you through your advertising, posturing, and styling. Be certain to create something you can maintain.

Clients come in all shapes, sizes, varieties, and types. I am not exaggerating when I tell you that EVERY type of man is a potential client. It doesn’t matter what kind of man you describe, somewhere there are clients who fit that set of traits. Part of what you should do for yourself before you ever start seeing clients is define your personal boundaries, parameters, limitations, preferences, and requirements. If there are certain factors that absolutely must or must not be part of your experience with clients, you should know that and honor it. If you do not, you will make compromises that erode your ability to function as a successful Adult Entertainer, and you will cheat your clients on some level (who may then give you negative reviews). A simple test you can try: Go to an upscale supermarket, grocery store, or shopping venue at its peak hours of traffic. Take a seat and then people watch for an hour. Look at the men wandering past you. These are the men who will call you on your live phone chat, touch you on stage at the club, watch you during your cam sessions, and hire you off your escorting ads. Here they are! Taa-daah! What is your honest response within yourself?

If you cannot tolerate intimate interactions with these people, you should not be an Adult Entertainer. Or at least you should not choose a modality (Part 2 of 13) that requires much contact of any kind. An oversimplified rule of thumb: Given the type of interaction your chosen modality requires, could you perform your work with 90% of the men you have just seen? Could you listen to them on the phone? Could you tolerate their touch? What’s more, can you go beyond tolerance and move into enjoyment? You have to enjoy your work, or you will crumble under the weight of your conscience. Can you seek, welcome, tolerate, and enjoy being intimate with these strangers as they are in the moment when they walk past you in the grocery store? This is how they will come to you, quick showers not withstanding.

Can you handle it?

No one said this work was easy. Naysayers, critics, and ideologues too often control this conversation. But what you need to know, professional to professional, is that this work can be just as difficult as any other. It can also be as personally and financially rewarding as any other. You have to create the career you want, and one of the easiest ways to ensure your success is to accept only those clients who are seeking something you offer.

It really doesn’t matter which modality you select, or how you combine modalities to diversify your career, all clients (for all their variety) are looking for one scenario: Satisfaction. The trick is to understand what will bring an individual to his perception of satisfaction. Clients are not approaching you for judgment, rejection, denigration/abuse (unless within the context of a fetish, and even then it is couched within the notion of satisfaction), or debilitating injuries to their psyches and egos. It is paramount, especially for phone models and escorts, to know upfront in great detail what is expected. You have to know whether or not you can provide an excellent appointment.

The satisfaction gamut is wide. I am not exaggerating when I say that sex is the least important part of most of what Adult Entertainers do. There are so many dimensions within which we function as professionals. We are idols to be worshiped and emulated (and thus role models, as I have already argued); we function as councilors, life coaches, and personal cheerleaders; we offer connection on multiple levels, which is a commodity too quickly dismissed in a puritanical society; and we are immersed within the ongoing conversation society is always having about sexuality, identity, morality, and politics. You will come to understand in time that although your physical appeal may be what first draws clients to you, it is your inner self that will fuel their need to continue investing in you (and thus themselves).

What becomes tricky is when you get into the philosophical conundrum of “Authenticity.” Some clients will approach you with a scenario that you simply cannot guarantee. “I want you to authentically want from me whatever it is that I want from you.” Well… Don’t we all? But that is unfair from the outset. How do you know what you want from me? And how can you expect me to simply give that back to you on command from a position of “authenticity?”

As a purveyor of fantasy I believe it is not only unfair, but foolish, for a client to set that expectation on a particular person. That form of “authenticity” may be the ultimate goal for some clients (but definitely not for most), but the clients who will receive this higher order of connection have to understand that individuals are unique, and that chemistry is complicated. Might you have an instant interpersonal bond that is strong? Yes. Does the issue of the professional relationship undermine that authenticity? If so, why bother approaching me in the first place? Does the exchange of money necessarily undermine or reinforce that which is “authentic?” And how do you know without burning bridges in one direction or another? I am telling you that I create, sell, and maintain fantasies: What could possibly be more authentic than that? And yet it is absolutely true that Adult Entertainers can form very strong, friendly, loving bonds with clients. The issue at hand here is not whether or not a relationship is “authentic,” which is not the word I think clients should use, but whether or not the relationship is happily sustainable in a mutually beneficial manner. “Authentic” relationships are those in which everyone involved is getting what is needed from the interaction. I have clients who I consider friends. I have clients whom I love. Yes, it can happen, but you’re a fool to guarantee it to your clients when they ask for it prematurely. The only way you can know if this will happen with someone who wants it is to try over time to see how you connect as individuals.

As in “real life,” so it is in “fantasy land:” Sometimes you connect deeply, and sometimes you… well… just don’t. And that’s okay, too! Sometimes the most “authentic” interaction you can offer someone is the simple, superficial scenario that feeds their lower levels of satisfaction. You cannot fall in love with everyone, so don’t bother pretending. Offer only what you have to give (which will vary with time, place, scenario, circumstance, and present company).

Remember that every man walking down the street is a potential client. When I say that I don’t mean that every individual man will interact with Adult Entertainers. What I mean is that he represents someone who might. Can you give this man what he needs? Are you willing to try? How will you find out what will give him satisfaction? And what does any of this have to do with authenticity?

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Advertising is the first public expression of the brand you have developed. Make sure that your advertising campaigns are aligned with your branding. Advertising is a fairly simple process for most modalities of Adult Entertainment, so I will treat escorting/massage separately from “all others.” Since it’s more simplified, let’s go with the “all others” category first.

All Others

The strategies that you generally have to employ for most forms of modeling and live performance are “direct contact” along with “directory listings.” Direct contact is the process of taking the initiative to begin emailing, phoning, or personally approaching a club/venue, calling center, video house, chat site, or some other provider. Directory listings put you on a site where people can approach you instead. Examples of directories include agencies, ModelMayhem (though this site is notorious for being full of hacks and timewasters), and other social networking sites where users post (semi-)nude photos of themselves.

Prior to directly contacting anyone, you should have the following: A professional name, a persona that embodies your brand, and a relatively clear sense of comfort/confidence. Be certain you are not approaching the industry from a position of desperation by taking the time to educate yourself and to give consideration to all the pros and cons. It is also helpful for you to have professional photos (both hi- and low-rez copies, hi-rez for printed publicity use and low-rez for distribution on the web), though that is not required in most instances. If you are going into voice and/or phone modeling, it can be helpful to have selected a photo that represents your character. Note that many of the video houses prefer well-lit, amateur photos, so that they can see YOU (not a Photoshopped version of you).

When you place yourself on a directory you will need your professional name, your photos, a description of what you are interested in doing, and the means by which you can be contacted. Check your messages daily, and be prompt in your replies. If you are not a natural writer, speak with your own voice. You will not impress anyone by trying to speak/write in an unnatural manner. Use the best grammar and spelling you can (ask for help, if you need it), maintain a professional attitude, and use the dialogue to convey your brand.

Escorts/Masseurs

This is far more complex, because the degree to which you will be interacting with clients is much more personal. I am going to discuss the following: Pictures, agencies/brothels, ad content, personal sites, correspondence, specific ad vendors, reviews, and mailing lists.

Pictures

Point of fact: Ads with face pics fare better. Clients want to know as much about you as possible, and seeing your eyes helps connect to who you are. If you are not comfortable with showing your face in your ad, then consider these options: 1) Try a different career, 2) Keep your face pics handy, so they can be shared after you have established a rapport with a potential client. One way or another, the overwhelming majority of clients will need to see your face clearly prior to meeting with you. Beyond that, it is best to use clear, well-lit, candid photos that give the client a sense of who you are. Look at the Gallery on this blog to understand how I use photos. If your photos are blurry, secretive, or in some way low-quality, people may presume you are shady or untrustworthy. Depending on your branding, your photos may show more or less skin; however, the more a client knows about you, the more likely he is to connect with you. Your photos don’t have to look anything like mine, but they do need to do what my photos do for me. Look at ads. Study the images. Which ones make you want to contact the escort in question? You want photos like those.

Agencies/Brothels

If you choose to work through an agency it will be the equivalent of placing yourself on a directory listing. Your agency will guide you through the process of establishing a successful profile. This is a good option for escorts/masseurs who are seeking part time work and who do not wish to do the leg work of managing their own businesses; however, you will pay a substantial portion of your fee to your handler. Most escorts/masseurs opt to manage themselves for this reason, and because agencies use escorts/masseurs as cash cows – most agencies do not have your best interests at heart. You are free to make your own choices, but I strongly suggest you take care of your affairs yourself (or find a close, trusted confidante/friend/collaborator to do the advertising/correspondence/bookings for you).

Ad Content

What you say and how you say it goes a VERY LONG WAY in defining you as a person. I cannot stress enough how important ad content is. Even if your pictures are amazing, your words can do a great deal to either support or undermine your business. Choose a tone and style that is aligned with your branding; however, you absolutely must pay attention to the manner in which you speak/write. If a client’s first impression of you is that you are poorly spoken he will automatically (in many cases) discount you as a person. Spell check! GOD! USE SPELL CHECK! Have someone proofread your ad content. Get the input of other escorts/masseurs. Hone your message, so that potential clients can learn as much about you as possible in advance of contacting you.

You absolutely MUST learn the art of putting people at ease, and the first impression you create is paramount to your success. Read escort/masseur ads. Imagine yourself as a client: Would you want to meet the person in the ad you’re reading? Why or why not? How does the ad content contribute to your like or dislike for this person whom you haven’t ever met. This is how clients will read YOUR ad, so you want to make sure they have a sense of confidence that you are worth risking a connection. A link to my ad is located here on my blog. Feel free to peruse it. Your ad content doesn’t need to be like mine, but it does need to do for you what mine does for me. Remember this: Do not say what you think people want to hear. Say what is true to you and your brand, so that you attract the clients who want what you have to offer.

Personal Sites

These include blogs, fan sites, and other web content focusing on you as an individual. Many video models (and even some phone models) maintain a web presence as well. This is an old tactic: The fan club is an opportunity for your “fans” to learn more about you. It helps them to strengthen their sense of connection to you, and these types of sites help to reinforce your brand. My blog is one example. There are thousands of sites that do this (to varying degrees of success) for the entertainers at the focus of each individual site. You don’t have to maintain a personal site, but whether you do or not, consider maintaining some other form of Social Networking connection (e.g. Facebook, Twitter, etc.). Be certain that your professional web content is separated from your personal web content: Do not cross email, phone numbers, or other forms of personal information or you increase your risk of being stalked. Create separate email addresses and phone numbers for your professional life, and do not cross-pollinate (e.g. keep your personal friends on Facebook separate from your professional contacts on Facebook). Even if you don’t care about the intermixing, your clients/fans and family/friends probably prefer the insulation away from each other.

A word of caution: Know that everything you do and say on the internet is available to everyone at all times immediately. Say and do only that which you will not regret later. Do not comment with much frequency on the types of people you find attractive, or else you risk telling your clients indirectly that you are not interested in them if they do not match your preferences. I also suggest avoiding politics, since you can alienate potential clients unknowingly. Whether you are liberal, conservative, independent, or disinterested is not, in most cases, something you want your clients to know at first. People who find you attractive otherwise may decide against supporting you as an expression of their dislike for your politics. Keep your opinions about Obama, Bush, Clinton, Limbaugh, Lieberman, and Palin to yourself. Use discretion in who you follow on Twitter as well, since following/associating with political personalities gives your views away. Unless it is part of your branding, your aesthetic preferences and politics are not generally of interest to your clients.

Correspondence

I cannot stress enough that you should not put your phone number in your ad. Your phone number gives you instant access, and that is not necessarily the blessing you might presume. Correspond via email until you develop a rapport with your potential client. To save time and to maintain consistency, I suggest you write drafts of emails that can be copied and pasted. You can personalize each reply to address specific questions; however, most initial queries go something along these lines: “Hey! I liked your ad, and I want to know more about setting up an appointment with you.” Such a generalized query requires a lot of information, and you can save many back-and-forth, repetitive conversations by simply using your standardized initial response. Once your client replies you must go off script to address the specific details. In this way you can quickly exchange the information you need. This is the reply I send to potential clients the first time they contact me. I suggest you reword it to match your branding:

“Hi there, NAME!

Devon”

My attitude is that if someone can’t get through that email and reply with something substantial he isn’t the type of client I want. You may disagree. But come up with a script that sets the tone and gets the information you want. After you have worked through the details, I suggest a separate scripted confirmation email, which is also a time saver. I use the following, which I BCC to myself and keep in a folder called “Appointments.” After an appointment I refile the email to the appropriate city’s folder. I use the subject line in this format, so that the emails stay in appointment order when organized by alphabetical order in the subject column:

“Devon: 00/00/00, 00:00 – 00:00 (City)

If you could please call/text an hour or two before your appointment, I would appreciate the final confirmation. “

Notice: I do not generally give my phone number to a new client until we have set up an actual appointment. I rarely have anyone complain about this. Also, do not give out your room number until the client has arrived in the lobby, or you risk that person showing up before you are ready to entertain him. You are in charge. Set the tone from the beginning. Also, in the subject line of the confirmation, use army time, so that the appointments on a single day stay in correct order. Otherwise your 7 pm will be ordered before your 11 am (e.g. Devon: 06/06/11, 19:00 – 21:00 {New York City}). Just a practical note for your organization purposes. You should keep these types of emails for confirmations in case your calendar is lost/stolen, or (if you have the same problem I do) your calendar gets messed up when you go to different time zones. This way you can always go to your email and see what’s what.

Specific Ad Vendors

I suggest you maintain a constant ad presence on Rentboy in your home city. This gives you a consistent online presence and a steady link to use in your correspondence. Let it auto-renew each month. I suggest placing your travel ads 10-14 days in advance of your arrival in a city (14-21 days if you have never visited the place before).

Each escort will tell you something different, but one rule is always the same: AVOID CRAIGS LIST. DO NOT USE IT FOR ANY REASON WHATSOEVER. Sex workers have died advertising there, and it’s rife with police monitoring. Do not use Craigs List at all! The adult section was removed after a woman in Boston was murdered by her client in 2009. People still try to find ways to use the free listings there, and you absolutely should never do so!

Rentboy.com is the largest site. The rates vary, depending on the city, duration of your ad, and the level of preference you want (Diamond, platinum, gold, standard). This preference level affects how close to the top your ad appears. It is utterly unnecessary in cities that have fewer than 20 escorts/masseurs listed, since Rentboy places 20 ads per page. Do not waste your money paying for multiple listings and/or +Gold preference until a city gets past one page. I have never paid for Gold, Platinum, or Diamond, and I generally do just fine. I have found that the clients from Rentboy are friendly, open, and generally reliable. This is the only site on which I advertise anymore. Rentboy tends to be great for ads in cities on the east or west coasts.

Rentmen.com is a distant second place (for the American market). There are other sites that focus on Europe other parts of the world, but I don’t travel internationally, so you will have to test those on your own. Rentmen is interesting, because you can post video content there. (something you cannot do at Rentboy). Different escorts will give various accounts of their experience there, but I have never gotten much traffic from my ads on Rentmen. They have a good idea, and I’m sure many escorts do well there, but I do not maintain an ad there any longer. Try them – the chemistry of your ad may work on that site. Mine doesn’t, so I don’t bother with it.

MenForRentNow (M4RN) is a hot, shitty mess. Although a few escorts will tell you they do well there (especially for locales in the center/midwest of the USA), the general reputation the site has is this: The escort ads are never current, the clients who contact you from the site have a HIGH frequency of no-showing or being shady, and the “reviews” are not moderated by a third party. I do not suggest wasting your money there. I can count on one hand the number of clients from this site that have followed through as expected and been pleasant. If you place only one ad, use Rentboy. If you want a couple ads, use Rentboy and Rentmen. If you more than that find some other site than M4RN.

Reviews

This is the most important advertising you can possibly get: Word of Mouth. When you have an excellent appointment with a client, ask for a review. You can find my reviews by clicking the link under “Devon at Work.” Daddy’s Reviews is the best third party system I know of for confirming you are who you say you are. Your clients will feel much better about meeting you if they know other people have good reports to offer. Especially when you are new and unknown, try to get at least one-three reviews in the first couple months. That, more than anything else, will help establish you as an authentic professional.

Mailing Lists

When you hear from a new contact, put that contact in your saved address lists. Organize them in some manner that is useful to you. I prefer to categorize contacts by city. Approximately two weeks before I am going to travel to a particular area, I send emails to the people who have contacted me from that area. Again, I use a single scripted email. IMPORTANT: Send the email to yourself as the recipient, and put the addresses for your contacts in the BCC field, so that no one can see anyone else’s email information. This is an important point of discretion, since many contacts write to you from their personal accounts. DO NOT ALLOW THIS INFORMATION TO BE SEEN.

“Devon: Upcoming CITY trip (00/00/00 – 00/00/00)

Devon
www.devonhunter.info
www.rentboy.com/devonhunter”

Keep all correspondence!! KEEP ALL OF IT. PERIOD. File your correspondence in a way that makes sense to you. Again, I have folders for each city I visit, and I file everything according to region. When you send out your travel notice, put only 20 or so recipients in the BCC field, so that you lower your chance of being treated as spam by the recipients’ mail servers. When you get Mailer Daemon replies, rather than deleting the addresses, re-categorize them into a “ZZZ-no reply” category in your contact lists. Not all delivery failures result from bad/broken emails – some systems just get hiccups. I also use “ZZZ-no reply” as a place to put email addresses for people who want to be removed from my list, for people who are no longer welcome to book my time, and for people who are in any way problematic. This way, if someone ever shows up again in the future, rather than having no information about them, I see I have purposefully placed them on a no-call list. This is helpful for keeping track of red flags.

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In an industry where the commodity for sale is fantasy, it can get very easy to lose yourself. Something that can anchor you to sanity is branding (or you can start to believe your own hype: Be warned). The consistent manner in which you present yourself as an entertainer will help you develop the reputation and following that you prefer, but first you have to define the fantasy you want to offer. Although this link connects to a blog that focuses on branding for corporations, perhaps it will jog some ideas for presenting yourself as a brand: What is your story?

There are a variety of ways in which you might approach this. Ask yourself the following questions: 1) What are my preferences, and will working within my own personal tastes make the job of branding easier for me? 2) If I want to maintain a complete separation between work and home, does working within my preferences hit too close to home? If so, what can I offer my patrons that pleases them but doesn’t undermine me as a person – what can I create that I can be comfortable maintaining? What do I need to preserve that is mine alone and not shared? 3) To what extent do I want to interact with clients, and how much does my work life get appropriated into my private life?

My advice is that you get very specific at first and then tinker as you go. If you are not attracting the type of clients you want, evolve and hone your branding. Everything about your presentation should work toward the single goal of reinforcing your brand. And when you’re not at work, you have to be ready to fall immediately into character whenever you happen to meet a patron in the real world.

Be creative, but find a way to make your image serve you (as opposed to the reverse of that). Avoid being gimmicky, and eschew redonkulous stage names (e.g. Big Daddy Long Stroke, Envy, Juicy <insert noun here>, Baby Caramel, <insert your “cool” city/state of birth here>, Blaze, etc.), unless that type of humor is an integral part to your brand. This is how I created my stage name (GASP! “Devon Hunter” is a stage name???). Do not become a slave to your brand – it should empower you and shield you. Hopefully it is not a burden to you. Here are a few basic archetypes, but you should tailor and/or mix-and-match to create a look/style/demeanor that is specifically your own:

• Twink: generally hairless, lean, and youthful.
• Jock/Athlete/Body Builders (Please don’t say “Sup, bro.” I may have to vomit on you): not age or race specific; look for muscularity and/or athleticism.
• Boy/Guy next door: any type of regular, cute guy who suddenly turns out to be way sexier than expected once undressed.
• The “I’m-just-a-nice-regular-guy-who-is-chill-and-friendly” type (aka “Everyday Joe”): what you see is what you get; no surprises, but no disappointments.
• Rockstar: a flashy guy with a huge personality (and ego?); lots of fun, but don’t expect a quiet time.
• Goth: beautiful in a dark manner; often quiet and introverted, but not necessarily so; often far more gentle and vulnerable than the exterior would belie.
• Rough Trade (gangsters, gangstas, cholos, poor White trash, etc.): use caution, as some people embody this a tad too authentically; be wary around Rough Trade guys that act like Hustlers; otherwise it’s all bullshit (enjoy taking the hot air out of heteronormative masculinity with this one)
• Boyfriend: friendly, complex, pleasing; the perfect fantasy… ahem… FANTASY!
• Bears/Wolves/Cubs/Otters/insert animal here: whatever the age, race, or body type, expect hair
• Bad boy: no particular physical type here, but there’s something dangerous (and therefore alluring) about these guys
• Leather/Latex: whatever the material of preference, and regardless of the age/race/type of the guy doing it, the material is everywhere (clothes, toys, etc.)
• Cowboys (Oh, just go ahead and do all the Village People, you costume queen! LOL)
• Culturally specific archetypes: please do not embarrass yourself pretending to be something you’re not (White guys dressed in Japanese clothing), or embodying a stereotype that is cringe worthy (Black guys dressed in “authentic” African costumes)
• Kink/Fetishes: is outside my realm of knowledge. Seek specific communities that discuss your interests. Be safe (within reason)!!

A few basic modalities:

• Live performers (dancers, cam models, phone models, etc.) – Make sure that your clothing, movement, facial expressions, voice, language, demeanor, and all other forms of interaction with patrons falls in line with the brand/mood/fantasy you are interested in sharing. Anytime you are in a performance (of whatever kind) you should be 100% “Insert Stage Name.” Most performances are about 15-30 minutes. Go rest in the dressing room, but when you are visible for any reason (working the floor of the club, waiting in a public room to do a private chat, etc.) make sure you are “on.” Whatever style you choose, make sure it offers you the protection you want without being forced and fake.
• Video models – As with live performers, you have to pay attention to all forms of communication; however, you can turn the performance on and off with the camera. Bear this in mind: You will probably supplement your income with other modalities of entertainment, so be sure to know your brand well enough to turn it on and keep it on when your viewers (who are normally invisible and separate from you) are standing only a few inches away. You can go to the dressing room to rest and recharge when your character and/or patrons use up your internal resources.
• Escorts – The advice is the same; however, you will need to create a fantasy you can maintain for extended, intimate lengths of time. For this reason I have decided that I am my own best brand. It would exhaust me to try to pretend to be something or someone else. This, however, may not be possible for you. We all have different personalities and needs. I need transparency. Other people need fantasy. I would utterly fail as a fetish model/escort. It’s not in me. That might be perfect for you (and it may or may not be an accurate reflection of your personality outside of work). Escorts, in particular, should take very great care to offer of themselves only that which is available to share.

Consider this as well: The unintended interaction. How will you handle it when you meet people who know you from Adult Entertainment gigs? Do not assume all accidental interactions are necessarily bad. In general, people are not trying to embarrass, undermine, or surprise you. They are often excited to see someone attractive who made them happy, and they sometimes react without necessarily thinking about consequences. There are mean/hateful/vindictive/fearful/ignorant people, too. Have a plan, make sure your inner circle knows how to follow along, and rehearse it in your head. Be ready to fall into character with a moment’s notice: GET USED TO RESPONDING TO YOUR PROFESSIONAL NAME AS IF IT WERE YOUR LEGAL NAME. A few instances where patrons might cross the line into personal space:

• Recognizing you while you are out shopping/running errands alone
• Evolving into stalkers
• Approaching you while you are out with friends/family
• Creating (un?)intentional effects on romantic relationships
• Beginning to confuse fantasies with romantic feelings
• Bumping into you at an unrelated job
• Starting (un?)planned chatting/social networking encounters