Devon Hunter

It never ceases to amaze me how many little details I forget to blog about. I keep fretting, thinking that I’ll run out of interesting stories, but then a patron will ask me something or do something and I’ll remember there’s so much more to tell. So, people ask me fairly frequently (worded in various ways): “Does your mother know that you dance naked in bars?”

Here’s the short answer: Yes.

Actually, everyone in my family knows, on both sides. It’s not a problem for anyone that I know of. And how could it be? Some people come from a long line of doctors… I come from a long line of entertainers. My sister has danced in clubs, and so has my mother. My grandmother has spoken of the days of the Burlesque.

At any rate, it’s not nearly as scandalous as many people assume. I was just at my families’ houses (divorce does that) for the holiday, and people from both clans were asking me about my performance schedule, was I making good money, and are you getting enough rest? Honestly, the only points most of them worry about are that I drink enough water, sleep properly, and drive safely. My mother’s husband even gets up early to make sure I get home okay. He was there waiting for me on Friday night/Saturday morning when I got there finally at 5:30, and again on Saturday night/Sunday morning when I arrived at 4:30. Those two also got me a birthday card with a cartoon in the style of Gary Larson’s “The Far Side” with a female Collie giving a lap dance to a male German Sheperd. The Sheperd was saying, “Oh yeah, shake that tail, bitch!” It was freaking hilarious.

My Gramma speaks very plainly to me about sexuality and issues surrounding human desire. She is a firm believer in universal bisexuality. As a writer and story teller she isn’t squeamish about describing the various proclivities of her characters (which are thinly veiled descriptions of her own fantasies). I’ve even blogged about a recent conversation I had with Gramma about sex workers. Although we live in the South, we are decidedly non-Southern. So, when people say something to the effect of, “I’ma tell yo Mama where you at!” I generally respond with, “Oh, great… She’ll be giving me pointers in front of everyone again about improving my pole tricks.”

Bisexual people have to be some of the most marginalized in our culture. They’re too queer for heterosexuals to understand or empathize with, and they’re too straight for queers to trust or fully embrace. The former tend to lump any degree of bisexuality together with “gay,” and the latter tend to stigmatize them as cowards or indiscriminate sluts. However, bisexuality is a true sexuality - it is not just some dude’s way of getting head whenever it’s convenient while his gay friend is playing video games with him at midnight.

I’ve dated a couple of bisexual guys. Yes, it’s frustrating to know you’re not able to be everything that completes that person’s desires, and yes there are often complications if the relationship is founded upon an antiquated form of monogamy. However, bisexual people should not be treated as if monogamy is impossible for them. That’s absurd. Anyone makes the choice to cheat or not. Another option, if everyone agrees, is that a triangular dynamic might be better.

I have to confess that bisexual men are alluring to me. That’s not to say I feed into the straight boy fetish - that’s not true at all. As with Homer Simpson, I like my gay men fuh-lay-ming! What attracts me to bisexual men is their ability to appreciate the sexual beauty of so many more people than I am capable of. I know a beautiful or sexy woman when I see one, but that’s all there is: recognition. There’s no desire. Unless, of course, the desire to take her shopping and dress her in expensive haute couture counts…

Perhaps this will seem strange to say, but I accidentally discovered that I have a porn hero. I’m not sure yet what that means, but it’s the only way I can think to describe my response to Cody Cummings (see right, click to enlarge). Not only is he incredibly dedicated and disciplined in regard to his fitness regimen, but he appears to be totally at ease with being attractive to and attracted to both men and women. He has a particular presence that is fascinating, beyond the strictly sexual. Yes, he is beautiul. Yes, he has found a way to capitalize successfully on his appearance. But beyond that, when I looked at the snippets of his videos, what I came up with in my head is that this man is absolutely comfortable in his skin. That is incredibly attractive, beyond all the other glamour tied into his marketing strategy.

So, I guess the point of this entry isn’t that I wish I were bisexual (even though I maybe do), but that I remembered after seeing Cody Cummings’ site that one of my fantasies for a long time has been to have a healthy balanced relationship wherein my best girlfriend and I share a man who loves us both equally. Something about a triad is more stable in my mind. Alas, the dream is probably always easier/better than the reality.

At any rate, it’s not often an adult entertainer tells the public about his/her own fantasies. Usually we’re the ones who play upon the desires of others. I thought it might be nice to put a little piece of my personal self out there: I think it’d be fun to be a gorgeous bisexual porn star. Let me dream, ok? Return the favor just this once?

Edit (06/16/10): I no longer feel this way about this particular model; however, my views on bisexuality itself has not changed. I still own that bisexuality is a true sexuality, but in the case of Cody Cummings he seems to be faking the bisexuality for monetary gain.

My entire life there has never been any question whatsoever from anyone I’ve ever met as to my sexuality. Suddenly that has changed.

In February, 2008 I was dancing at WareHouse 250 in Florence, SC and no one would talk to me, make eye contact, or approach me. When I asked then-owner Jeffrey Brown what was happening he said, “They think you’re straight, and they’re scared to touch you.” The DJ then made an announcement to the entire bar that I’m gay. I was flabbergasted. I had never had that happen to me before.

With increasing frequency, however, I am finding that as I gain size from working out, I am asked more and more often whether or not I’m gay. In the last week, in fact, I’ve had multiple people ask me what my girlfriend thought of my being a dancer in gay clubs. Incredible!!

Whereas many gay men are “straight acting,” a practice I loathe for socio-political reasons, and many others would be flattered to be mistaken for heterosexual, I am completely at a loss and very offended. Being gay is one of the central points of my identity. Suddenly who I am is cloudy??? Because I started lifting heavy objects??? REALLY?

Perhaps most people will think this a pointless rant, but I would like to say unequivocally that I am not flattered when someone asks me if I’m gay (or assumes that I’m straight… no bi… no…), I tell them that I am gay, and then they ask “Are you sure you’re gay?”

You must be done lost yo’ mind!

Many, if not most, male exotic dancers in gay clubs are straight. Case in point: At Swinging Richards in Atlanta only 5-10 of the 60-65 dancers like men. I often get asked, “How can a truly straight guy allow men to touch him?” It’s quite simple: Until the mid-19th century there was no such concept as identity based on sexuality. No one was homosexual. The term itself didn’t exist until 1869. Although no one was homosexual as we understand it, there were plenty of people participating in same-sex intercourse and romances. Here’s what you need to know if you’re trying to explain to yourself how it’s possible to rationalize wanting that dancer whom you simply can’t accept is heterosexual: Many straight men do not equate sexual activity with sexual identity. In this way they can be in homoerotic scenarios and still maintain that they’re straight. That’s how straight guys can have circle jerks and all sorts of other bizarre mating rituals in the locker room and on the football field and still come out “okay.”

Now, let’s look at the title of this blog…

Gay men like dick. Period. Vah-jay-jay is horrid to us. Period. (God, did I just say period after mentioning putang? I think I just threw up in my mouth a little… The only time I have never been queasy thinking about a bleeding muff is when Janet Jackson sang “My swagger is serious, somethin’ heavy like a first day period” in her song “Feedback.” You can see that video on my site!)

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Bisexual guys can get into either boiz or grrrlz, and genuinely like either – bisexuality is a true sexuality. It is not simply an excuse to get laid more.

Buy-sexual is a whole other matter… Buy-sexual men do not actually like men – they simply accept gifts from them. They do not generally sleep with men. They simply allow gay men to fawn over them. “Buy-me-a-present-sexual” is a straight guy who encourages courtship but never puts out.
Pay-sexual, however… well… Anyway, you can figure out the rest on your own.