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	<title>Comments on: The balance of bisexuality</title>
	<atom:link href="http://www.devonhunter.info/archives/79/feed/" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml" />
	<link>http://www.devonhunter.info/archives/79/</link>
	<description>The online diary of a gay courtesan.</description>
	<lastBuildDate>Thu, 09 Sep 2010 11:54:06 +0000</lastBuildDate>
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		<title>By: Devon</title>
		<link>http://www.devonhunter.info/archives/79/#comment-6260</link>
		<dc:creator>Devon</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Fri, 03 Sep 2010 21:50:06 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.devonhunter.info/archives/79/#comment-6260</guid>
		<description>Hey Aaron, I just read your comments, and all I can really say is this: You are right. I think that bisexual people are in a mighty precarious position. They are too queer to be straight, and too straight to be gay. As you&#039;ve already said, bisexuals get marginalized no matter which way they turn. I have dated bisexual men, and it was particularly hurtful when they left me for women (just as women must feel when men leave them for other men). Something about that scenario cuts twice as deep; however, it is time to remember the B in LGBT. Something that I have said on this blog at some point is that there is a difference between homosexual activity and gay identity. Many of the men you call bisexual (who do G4P but identify as straight) are able to maintain the separation between what they do and who they are, BECAUSE THEY DO NOT IDENTIFY WITH THE ACTIONS THEY ARE PERFORMING. My having sex with men is a fundamental part of my entire identity. G4P people, to whatever degree they are functionally bisexual, are (for all intents and purposes) straight, because THAT is what they say/believe/know they are. Who are we to tell someone else what his/her sexuality is? As a bisexual man you are told by some people that you are gay and others that you are confused/cowardly; however, their labels don&#039;t change the fact that you have chosen bisexuality as your identity. These G4P men ARE straight, because they believe they are. And that is right to them (though possibly not for them, nor anyone else when it comes to it). I, personally, agree with you: G4P men are to some degree bisexual (but the term is so demonized as to be avoided); however, our thoughts on their actual/perceived sexuality has little to do with the truth they have constructed for themselves. &quot;I like to fuck women. I feel romantic love for women. I fuck men for money. I&#039;m straight.&quot; It makes sense to them, and it makes sense to me (despite the apparent contradiction).</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Hey Aaron, I just read your comments, and all I can really say is this: You are right. I think that bisexual people are in a mighty precarious position. They are too queer to be straight, and too straight to be gay. As you&#8217;ve already said, bisexuals get marginalized no matter which way they turn. I have dated bisexual men, and it was particularly hurtful when they left me for women (just as women must feel when men leave them for other men). Something about that scenario cuts twice as deep; however, it is time to remember the B in LGBT. Something that I have said on this blog at some point is that there is a difference between homosexual activity and gay identity. Many of the men you call bisexual (who do G4P but identify as straight) are able to maintain the separation between what they do and who they are, BECAUSE THEY DO NOT IDENTIFY WITH THE ACTIONS THEY ARE PERFORMING. My having sex with men is a fundamental part of my entire identity. G4P people, to whatever degree they are functionally bisexual, are (for all intents and purposes) straight, because THAT is what they say/believe/know they are. Who are we to tell someone else what his/her sexuality is? As a bisexual man you are told by some people that you are gay and others that you are confused/cowardly; however, their labels don&#8217;t change the fact that you have chosen bisexuality as your identity. These G4P men ARE straight, because they believe they are. And that is right to them (though possibly not for them, nor anyone else when it comes to it). I, personally, agree with you: G4P men are to some degree bisexual (but the term is so demonized as to be avoided); however, our thoughts on their actual/perceived sexuality has little to do with the truth they have constructed for themselves. &#8220;I like to fuck women. I feel romantic love for women. I fuck men for money. I&#8217;m straight.&#8221; It makes sense to them, and it makes sense to me (despite the apparent contradiction).</p>
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		<title>By: Aaron</title>
		<link>http://www.devonhunter.info/archives/79/#comment-6244</link>
		<dc:creator>Aaron</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Wed, 01 Sep 2010 06:26:51 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.devonhunter.info/archives/79/#comment-6244</guid>
		<description>Ok, so I know this is an olddd ass post, but I only just today discovered this blog of yours after seeing it linked in a comment on an article that I will link here in a minute. First off I got to say, I love your blogs- you&#039;re surprisingly well written (No offense to other porn stars, or really ANY famous person on the internet, but most people don&#039;t bother to actually spell correctly, let alone come out with well formed blog posts), and I found your post on Sean Cody to be very insightful (it was the post that was linked to me via comment). On top of that, this post gives me new hope in the world for acceptance of people such as myself: full fledged bisexuals both sexually AND more importantly, romantically. It&#039;s my dream to be in a relationship such as the one you described. It&#039;d make life so much more easy.... sadly, I know life we probably never be that easy for myself. 

But on to what I was going to say- while this is somewhat related to this, it&#039;s also related to some other posts you&#039;ve made. So I&#039;ll admit, I&#039;m not a pornstar myself, and I&#039;m not gay, so I obviously can&#039;t gauge the situation from those points of view- but I am a bisexual male, who has done a considerable amount of research on sexuality and who enjoys making preachy long winded posts, so I shall now put it up front: I do *NOT* believe in gay for pay, unless it&#039;s a truly life or death situation. Now normally I would continue, but I won&#039;t- since I already did so on the article that had the comment that linked to your blog. Forgive me since I know what I say in my comments on this linked post are somewhat presumptuous, and do rely a bit too much on the psychological aspects of sexuality, but I would very much appreciate if you read them, so, here they are:  http://www.queerty.com/how-going-gay-for-pay-reassured-malachi-marx-he-is-straight-20100729/  My comments are under the same name as they are here, and the comments are No. 62 and No. 74. Sorry, I know that seemed like I was kind of whoring myself out.... though I guess I was? But again, I&#039;d really appreciate if you read it!</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Ok, so I know this is an olddd ass post, but I only just today discovered this blog of yours after seeing it linked in a comment on an article that I will link here in a minute. First off I got to say, I love your blogs- you&#8217;re surprisingly well written (No offense to other porn stars, or really ANY famous person on the internet, but most people don&#8217;t bother to actually spell correctly, let alone come out with well formed blog posts), and I found your post on Sean Cody to be very insightful (it was the post that was linked to me via comment). On top of that, this post gives me new hope in the world for acceptance of people such as myself: full fledged bisexuals both sexually AND more importantly, romantically. It&#8217;s my dream to be in a relationship such as the one you described. It&#8217;d make life so much more easy&#8230;. sadly, I know life we probably never be that easy for myself. </p>
<p>But on to what I was going to say- while this is somewhat related to this, it&#8217;s also related to some other posts you&#8217;ve made. So I&#8217;ll admit, I&#8217;m not a pornstar myself, and I&#8217;m not gay, so I obviously can&#8217;t gauge the situation from those points of view- but I am a bisexual male, who has done a considerable amount of research on sexuality and who enjoys making preachy long winded posts, so I shall now put it up front: I do *NOT* believe in gay for pay, unless it&#8217;s a truly life or death situation. Now normally I would continue, but I won&#8217;t- since I already did so on the article that had the comment that linked to your blog. Forgive me since I know what I say in my comments on this linked post are somewhat presumptuous, and do rely a bit too much on the psychological aspects of sexuality, but I would very much appreciate if you read them, so, here they are:  <a href="http://www.queerty.com/how-going-gay-for-pay-reassured-malachi-marx-he-is-straight-20100729/" rel="nofollow">http://www.queerty.com/how-going-gay-for-pay-reassured-malachi-marx-he-is-straight-20100729/</a>  My comments are under the same name as they are here, and the comments are No. 62 and No. 74. Sorry, I know that seemed like I was kind of whoring myself out&#8230;. though I guess I was? But again, I&#8217;d really appreciate if you read it!</p>
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		<title>By: Devon</title>
		<link>http://www.devonhunter.info/archives/79/#comment-4911</link>
		<dc:creator>Devon</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Wed, 16 Jun 2010 04:43:43 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.devonhunter.info/archives/79/#comment-4911</guid>
		<description>Hey Derek,

Yes, I know that know... Unfortunately, when I first became acquainted with him I was looking only at the previews, which play up what little interaction he does do. Fuller did that hand slap off thing to me, too. It&#039;s rather hurtful, but what can you do? I don&#039;t go back and change blog entries, unless I put an &quot;Edit:&quot; notification in. I have been meaning to address this, but put it off, since it&#039;s an older entry. I will do an &quot;Edit:&quot; now, because I have to say that the thrill is gone.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Hey Derek,</p>
<p>Yes, I know that know&#8230; Unfortunately, when I first became acquainted with him I was looking only at the previews, which play up what little interaction he does do. Fuller did that hand slap off thing to me, too. It&#8217;s rather hurtful, but what can you do? I don&#8217;t go back and change blog entries, unless I put an &#8220;Edit:&#8221; notification in. I have been meaning to address this, but put it off, since it&#8217;s an older entry. I will do an &#8220;Edit:&#8221; now, because I have to say that the thrill is gone.</p>
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		<title>By: Derek</title>
		<link>http://www.devonhunter.info/archives/79/#comment-4900</link>
		<dc:creator>Derek</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Wed, 16 Jun 2010 00:45:49 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.devonhunter.info/archives/79/#comment-4900</guid>
		<description>I realize this is an older post but Cody Cummings has NEVER topped a guy on film.  The closest he came to any gay contact that wasn&#039;t one sided was when he touched Tommy D&#039;s penis in a bi scene YEARS ago. He has only recently began to touch them on the shoulderor head after 3 years of request that he show his male partners attention.  Usually he lies there with his eyes closed or watches straight porn to get off.  He DOES NOT identify as bisexual.  He is a raging homophobe off camera and a royal douche.  I have seen him literally slap his scene partners hands off him as soon as the director said done.  He is vile and so is Next Door for promoting him.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I realize this is an older post but Cody Cummings has NEVER topped a guy on film.  The closest he came to any gay contact that wasn&#8217;t one sided was when he touched Tommy D&#8217;s penis in a bi scene YEARS ago. He has only recently began to touch them on the shoulderor head after 3 years of request that he show his male partners attention.  Usually he lies there with his eyes closed or watches straight porn to get off.  He DOES NOT identify as bisexual.  He is a raging homophobe off camera and a royal douche.  I have seen him literally slap his scene partners hands off him as soon as the director said done.  He is vile and so is Next Door for promoting him.</p>
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		<title>By: Jennifer</title>
		<link>http://www.devonhunter.info/archives/79/#comment-305</link>
		<dc:creator>Jennifer</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sun, 08 Feb 2009 15:36:32 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.devonhunter.info/archives/79/#comment-305</guid>
		<description>Yeah, those conversations do tend to get circular.  But maybe on one of those repetitions a few more people each time question their concept of gender and sexuality.  I guess that&#039;s my take on it.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Yeah, those conversations do tend to get circular.  But maybe on one of those repetitions a few more people each time question their concept of gender and sexuality.  I guess that&#8217;s my take on it.</p>
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		<title>By: devon</title>
		<link>http://www.devonhunter.info/archives/79/#comment-303</link>
		<dc:creator>devon</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sun, 08 Feb 2009 02:55:42 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.devonhunter.info/archives/79/#comment-303</guid>
		<description>of course... how boring. i&#039;ve heard that convo so many times i&#039;m not even interested in it anymore.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>of course&#8230; how boring. i&#8217;ve heard that convo so many times i&#8217;m not even interested in it anymore.</p>
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		<title>By: Jennifer</title>
		<link>http://www.devonhunter.info/archives/79/#comment-300</link>
		<dc:creator>Jennifer</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Fri, 06 Feb 2009 23:30:51 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.devonhunter.info/archives/79/#comment-300</guid>
		<description>Well, the opinions ranged from believing it was a shameful sign of self-hatred, to the traditional &quot;I&#039;m a MAN.  I like MEN.&quot; thing, and many stops in between.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Well, the opinions ranged from believing it was a shameful sign of self-hatred, to the traditional &#8220;I&#8217;m a MAN.  I like MEN.&#8221; thing, and many stops in between.</p>
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		<title>By: Devon</title>
		<link>http://www.devonhunter.info/archives/79/#comment-295</link>
		<dc:creator>Devon</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Fri, 06 Feb 2009 22:46:57 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.devonhunter.info/archives/79/#comment-295</guid>
		<description>i&#039;ve seen him get rimmed, but i&#039;ve not seen him do it. and yes, i did see him top in an impersonal manner... what were the opitnions on the other site about gay men giving money to &quot;bi&quot; and &quot;gay&quot; guys?</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>i&#8217;ve seen him get rimmed, but i&#8217;ve not seen him do it. and yes, i did see him top in an impersonal manner&#8230; what were the opitnions on the other site about gay men giving money to &#8220;bi&#8221; and &#8220;gay&#8221; guys?</p>
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		<title>By: Jennifer</title>
		<link>http://www.devonhunter.info/archives/79/#comment-288</link>
		<dc:creator>Jennifer</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Fri, 06 Feb 2009 18:26:06 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.devonhunter.info/archives/79/#comment-288</guid>
		<description>I&#039;ve seen him top, I think, but he did that stupid thing where he just kind of thrusted his hips forward and kept his hands on his hips or on the headboard above the other guy&#039;s head.  If I recall correctly.  And as far as his butt-butt is concerned, I don&#039;t even think I&#039;ve ever seen him get rimmed let alone let anyone get up in there.

  I was kinda hoping I was missing something.  But I&#039;ve read some articles on gaypornblog.com that kind of . . . well . . . they&#039;ve had some really interesting conversations in the comments section about the last sentence you typed.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I&#8217;ve seen him top, I think, but he did that stupid thing where he just kind of thrusted his hips forward and kept his hands on his hips or on the headboard above the other guy&#8217;s head.  If I recall correctly.  And as far as his butt-butt is concerned, I don&#8217;t even think I&#8217;ve ever seen him get rimmed let alone let anyone get up in there.</p>
<p>  I was kinda hoping I was missing something.  But I&#8217;ve read some articles on gaypornblog.com that kind of . . . well . . . they&#8217;ve had some really interesting conversations in the comments section about the last sentence you typed.</p>
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		<title>By: Devon</title>
		<link>http://www.devonhunter.info/archives/79/#comment-238</link>
		<dc:creator>Devon</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Wed, 28 Jan 2009 21:43:34 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.devonhunter.info/archives/79/#comment-238</guid>
		<description>you know what? i think you&#039;re right, jen... i have a bad habit of letting &quot;pretty&quot; be too much... now that you mention all this, i&#039;ve noticed also that he doesn&#039;t go beyond getting head from dudes either... i don&#039;t think i&#039;ve seen him top a guy, let alone bottom. i&#039;m actually wondering if he&#039;s even truly bisexual, or if this is just a thin veneer to get money out of gay men...</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>you know what? i think you&#8217;re right, jen&#8230; i have a bad habit of letting &#8220;pretty&#8221; be too much&#8230; now that you mention all this, i&#8217;ve noticed also that he doesn&#8217;t go beyond getting head from dudes either&#8230; i don&#8217;t think i&#8217;ve seen him top a guy, let alone bottom. i&#8217;m actually wondering if he&#8217;s even truly bisexual, or if this is just a thin veneer to get money out of gay men&#8230;</p>
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