The online diary of a gay courtesan.

Corresponding from the he(art): My Target Audience

Dear Devon,

You are a genius.  Your life and you living it as reflected in your blog is ART.  Thank you so much for sharing this art with the world, even though I am not, perhaps, your target audience.

Sincerely,
Jennifer* 


*Explorer of the Farthest Reaches of The Internet, Lover of Men, Maleness, and Man-love in all its permutations.

Dear Jennifer,

I am sitting here stunned at your email. This is one of the kindest notes anyone has ever sent me from the blog. If you are not my “target audience,” it is only because you already recognize that everyone has a story, it isn’t because you’re female. All are welcome.

Go forward with love in your new year.

xo
Devon

 
It really isn’t enough for me to say this to Jennifer. It is (to me, anyway) my responsibility to more clearly identify my “target audience,” which is much wider than I’d originally thought: Women, who make up the greatest portion of adult entertainment, are definitely welcome here (and so are other women who aren’t in “the biz”).

Currently there is a tab at the top of this page that says “About.” I think that I will be updating that to “Mission” and using it as a space to more precisely define what it is I hope to accomplish through this blog. I invite you, my fabulous readers of all backgounds, to visit that page once the change has been made from “About” to “Mission.” I am also changing “Dancers” to “Directory.” If you would like to consider being featured on this site as a professional adult entertainer, or if you would like to submit posts, please visit the Directory.

7 comments

1 Jonathan { 12.30.08 at 5:43 pm }

That is a very heart-warming e-mail. It is nice to see people outside of the gay world taking an interest in what you do. I personally feel that is due to your excellent communication skills and honesty.

I would never have learned about what exotic dancers lives are like without your blogs Devon. My current lifestyle makes it difficult to talk one on one with people in your profession.

2 Devon { 12.30.08 at 5:51 pm }

yes, i was amazed at her kindness… it was completely unexpected. it caused two major shifts in the site, too: 1) i feel i have a “mission” now that affects a much wider target audience than i’d considered before and 2) it made me realize that i need to reach out to others, so that they can have an opportunity to put their voices into this conversation (hence changing the “dancers” tab to “directory”).

kindness really can be a fantastic impetus for constructive growth. she reminded me of that. she’s not the first woman to post a comment to me, but she’s the first to make me take note that i’d not been clear that all are welcome. just because i’m gay and speak from a gay male perspective, i’ve not intended this to be a site only for gay male adult entertainers. that happened naturally because i was the only one speaking. hopefully i can get some other views on here as well.

as for it being difficult to talk to adult entertainers, it’s not my place to pry, but if you ever have a question you’ve thought of that i’ve not addressed, this blog is a great place to get it answered discreetly.

3 Jonathan { 12.31.08 at 1:51 am }

Well Devon one question that has come to mind has been the impact that your job could have on your sex drive. I would think that a job that requires one to be “sexual” even in terms of creating fantasy would be detrimental. After work don’t you just want to curl up in bed with a good book. Like my brother not wanting to talk about medical issues outside of work (I keep trying to tell my Mom that with little effect).

4 devon { 12.31.08 at 9:10 am }

i personally don’t have a decrease in sex drive; however, i have a decrease in wanting to socialize. often i just hide at home, resting, rather than go out in public at all. just going to the bank or grocery store is very taxing on me. after such intense contact with people at work, i need ALOT of cave time. the conundrum is still wanting to socialize – my outlet for this is chatting and blogging. that way i can connect with people without having to do it in person. when i take time away from work, that hermit-crab (i’m a cancer, HA) behavior goes away.

5 Jonathan { 01.01.09 at 8:05 am }

Thanks Devon for the reply. I must admit I am similar but for me it is going to a office work environment where I manage staff. Your type of human interaction I would find far too intense day in and day out.

6 Devon { 08.19.15 at 11:42 am }

Wow, 7.5 years later, and I’m still feeling the challenge of socializing and getting out of the house; however, now taking time off from work doesn’t calm the hermit crab.

7 Devon { 09.18.17 at 1:45 pm }

And here I am, two years even later, and it still has only just barely begun to shift. It’s September 18, 2017, and since I got out of the hospital in May 2016 I have purposefully tried to put myself out more. Last year I joined a chess club, but that went kaput, because no one actually talks, and that wasn’t what I was looking for. I began playing dodgeball with the local gay league. I did that for a few seasons, but then work got in the way. I started going to EventBrite and MeetUp groups, but those were full of insurance sales people trying to get me to invest in their company. I have gone out three times in the last two months (quite a flurry of activity for me), and this past Saturday I went to the Charlotte 2017 White Party. I really did enjoy that. In the intervening years since I stopped going out Charlotte got completely overrun with hot gay guys. I guess it’s time to make my way back out into the night/light. LOL

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