The online diary of a gay courtesan.

I’m comin’ home

I have never had a home in the way most people think of it. I have always admired trees, because they put roots down. They stay. They make a whole life in one place. Isn’t that incredible??

There is no place (other than my Gramma’s house) that has ever felt like a consistent place for ME. Grampa and Gramma stayed put in their house, and I have always been able to go back to that house; however, my current apartment will be my first home created for and by myself. It is becoming the first place I have ever started forming a real since of self around. It’s a very significant milestone to me. I intend to stay put in this apartment for quite a while. There’s a reason my marriage will happen in this apartment: It’s the most sacred space I can think of.

The record for me is three years at one address without interruption. I’ve experienced that three times: When I was 10 – 12 years old in Harlem, GA; when I was 15 – 18 years old in Harlem, GA; and when I was 23 – 26 years old in Los Angeles, CA. At all other points in my life I have moved annually, and in some years I moved more than once within 12 months (the record is 3 moves in 12 months when I was 22 years old, and again when I was 26 years old). So, I’m a wanderer (which is one of the reasons I love the movie “Chocolat”); however, now I am a gypsy who can leave the caravan. I have access to a wonderful airport, so now when I need to run away (which feeds perfectly into my travel itinerary), I can do so without packing up. I can come home and still be away as much as I like.

The reason I decided against a honeymoon as I had originally planned, is so that I can put that money toward making my apartment the exotic retreat that I have all the time, rather than going off to the exotic retreat I experience briefly and only once. Most people would raise their eyebrows at all the work, time, and money I’m putting into my apartment (since I’ll never own it); however, I don’t want to own a home until several years from now at the soonest, and I do intend to set a new record at this address. At the end of the current lease in September 2012 I will match my personal record of staying at one address without interruption for three years. But this time I am going to sign on for longer, and I am finally going to be somewhere without interruption for four years.

Perhaps my internal gypsy will finally leave me in peace knowing he can be on the road anytime, and still have a gorgeous, sacred space waiting (with KITTEH there to scold me upon each return).

2 comments

1 M Charity { 04.25.12 at 12:05 pm }

I am so glad to hear you say this. Everyone needs a sanctuary and what a beautiful one you have created. And who ever said you cannot “put down some roots” because it is an apartment? In the city where I live over 75% of the population rents. Should they not be comfortable where they live just because they don’t own the dwelling?

A home is more than 4 walls. It is a place we go to retreat from what can sometimes be the jarring harshness of reality. The balm to our souls when we are happy or feeling wounded. A place to enjoy the company of friends and family or comfortable solitude.

You are clearly a creative and artistic man and there is no reason not to let that part of you shine through in where you live. And from the pictures you have shown us it is truly welcoming. From the sensual dark woods to the languid luxury of the privacy curtains to the brilliant splashes of color from the lovely paintings and stained glass. You have made a beautiful environment for youself and Kitteh and should be proud of what you have created.

You have helped so many others over the years, you deserve this.

With great respect,

2 Tom from Hamilton ON { 05.21.12 at 4:36 am }

Well, Devon, you have decided to settle down, for now, at least. I’m more than sure KITTEH is pleased, too. I hope you will report regularly on your progress to the wedding. I had hoped that you would find another person, someone your equal in creativity and complimentary in personality. I believe that’s a tall order to fill. For me, you shine like the sun, too brilliant to look upon in a real open way. You are so devastatingly honest about yourself, and yet you want to dig deeper. I wouldn’t have the strength to persist as you do. Your apartment is wonderful. It’s just right. Grounded by the dark wood, sparkling with brilliant colour! One thing I believe you should know about your dwelling: I think anyplace you are is sacred because you’re there! Have joy and thrive in this space you have created. And never stop being your own wonderful self. Even my best is a poor gift to extend to you, but I give it wholeheartedly. Cheers!

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