From time to time I encounter or learn about behavior that is so disappointing that it becomes necessary to address it as a point for Career Advice. I think it is time to bring special attention to the three most important guiding principles of Escorting as a modality of Adult Entertainment. There is (or at least there ought to be) a minimum expectation of decorum in any career, and when that lowest measure of professionalism is not only violated but on some level celebrated, a negative stereotype about Adult Entertainers is strengthened, and then it is time for me to refer back to the Mission of this blog, so that poor examples do not become the only examples.
I invite you to consider the information and videos in this story on “The Sword” before continuing, in order to understand the context of what I am going to discuss, and why I feel it is important to do so. Although each person is responsible for his/her own actions and the opportunities or consequences they create, I would like to use this space to remind both potential escorts and the reading/viewing/hiring public that negative stereotypes, although based to some extent on anecdotal situations, do NOT apply to all people within a community or industry. Here are what I consider to be the three guiding principles of Escorting:
- Discretion – for a client’s privacy. Even if, for whatever inexplicable reason, a client were to request, permit, insist, or encourage you to publicly divulge his/her identity, you should never do so. Regardless of how well the client may think s/he has considered the consequences to him/herself, s/he probably has not considered how this will affect YOU. Being connected in any way to revealing the identity of a client will automatically make you suspect to almost all other clients who might otherwise consider hiring your time. Your judgment, sense, and discernment will be justifiably called into question. Do not bring unnecessary attention to your clients!
- Discretion – for your behavior. You are in charge of creating your own reality, so you should consider carefully what you do publicly, especially if you are a person of renown. Clients often do a considerable amount of research before hiring a particular escort, and imitating Paris Hilton is not generally considered to be endearing. You attract that which you generate: If you generate trouble/drama/chaos, you will attract people who will create more for you. Again, I tell you to consider carefully your image and brand, so that you can attract the clients you want and enjoy a career that is rewarding to you. If you do something foolish, illegal, cruel, or controversial DO NOT BRAG ABOUT IT ON THE INTERNET (unless generating that particular hype and image helps you maintain the brand that attracts the type of clients you want). As “The Sword” illustrates, there are plenty of people who are willing to bring attention to you when you make mistakes, so you don’t need to do anything to help them. Do not bring unnecessary attention to yourself!
- Discretion – for your opinions. Although it is true that you should be honest with others and yourself, you should also consider how diplomacy factors into what you say. Expressing shock online that a client is “hot” does not merely bring attention to one particular client’s attractiveness. It also, by default of your shock, betrays your true feelings about all your other clients, and is probably a bitter pill for them to swallow when they learn of it. This comment on the “The Sword” needs to be addressed: “Later, after he was given the ‘OK’ by the client, [the escort] tweeted a photo of them together. I concur with [the escort] that [the client] is kind of fucking sexy, for someone who hires escorts. Holy shit.” Let me say this right now: ALL TYPES OF MEN HIRE ESCORTS. I have many attractive clients, some of whom are more attractive than myself. To presume that only one particular type of man hires is to ignore the fact that any number of men will hire for any number of reasons. If you wonder what kind of man hires escorts, go to your local gourmet grocery store at 6 o’clock when everyone has left work, and take a look around at all the people there. These are the men who hire escorts. Do not bring unnecessary attention to people’s vulnerabilities!