The online diary of a gay courtesan.

Getting through the bad nights…

I’ve said this before, but I want to remind myself and all my adult entertainment friends of something I was told by Carlos (he seems to be my exotic dance guru – and for good reason, too!): Remember that you are valuable beyond what your earn. Separate your self-worth from what you make. You are more than your money.

Working for tips is hard. You can’t plan. Some nights you’re on. Others, not so much. There’s only so much you can do to affect this: You can workout, be nice, and approach every person in the room and still not make good money. You can watch someone who isn’t very attractive, very nice, and/or impressive in some way or another sweep the bar. You simply cannot know.

The reason I’m saying this (and I’m surprised I haven’t blogged about it sooner) is because last night at the club was BAD. It was BAD BAD BAD. So many of my beautiful brothers were taking it personally. We all are vulnerable in this work, since our bodies and our egos are laid bare, but I’d like to remind all my friends that it is not them. It isn’t you, booboo! It’s a combination of factors that you cannot control! You are just as amazing on your off-nights as you are on your a-list nights.

Something you simply must remember is that there are times when you will do well and times when you won’t. Rather than looking at what you make each night, look at your longer goals and averages. Consider how everything tends to balance itself out in a week, or even a month. You have to let the cold water roll over your back. It’s easy to forget how amazing you are, but really: YOU ARE FUCKING FABULOUS.

9 comments

1 Jonathan { 12.12.08 at 11:28 am }

Do you think Devon that you will come to the realization allf of a sudden that enough is enough with the job, or do you think it will dawn on you gradually? How do guys know when to hang up their… well whatever they hang-up!

2 devon { 12.12.08 at 4:42 pm }

it’d be gradually. i don’t plan to hang up my thong for quite a while. i’ll probably transition out of it once i finish physical therapy school (assuming that i get accepted in the first place).

3 imageofman { 12.13.08 at 12:42 pm }

Hang up their speedos? 🙂

4 Brady { 12.13.08 at 1:47 pm }

It’s so hard to realize that what you are, the beauty of who you are, does not need to be proven to anyone. I struggle with the desire to prove myself all the time. Thanks for the reminder.

5 Devon { 12.13.08 at 1:55 pm }

imageofman, depends on the state – in s.c. it’d be speedo, in n.c. it’d be thong, and in atlanta it’d be… um. well. i dunno, since we’re nude. LOL

6 joe { 12.13.08 at 2:21 pm }

devon, if you ever hang “it” up, i have a hook for you to hang it on….lol. as you already know, i think you are a very special person. i personally know that at this time of year, most people are happy while others are sad; however, you always make me glad to be me and to know you. hugs!!!

7 Devon { 12.13.08 at 3:10 pm }

thank you, joe. i’m happy to know you too. you’ve been a guardian angel of late. THANK YOU

8 BodyWork4 { 12.30.08 at 7:55 am }

No truer words have been spoken.
Beauty is truly expressed from within and is that which defines who you are and draws one to you…
The skin, hair, body are just accessories and tastes vary as much as those “trappings” – and how fitting a word is that, since too often we are ‘trapped’ by our own need for “physical” approval.
Rock On!
…and Happy New Year!

9 Robert { 03.01.09 at 4:29 am }

“bad” nights…become a mentality. Just one thing, like a movie that starts slow and goes nowhere, bad nights often just lack the critical mass of people and excitement to really get the money flowing. Most customers will spend on Friday and Saturday because it’s the end of the week, they’ve been paid, but also because there is an atmosphere that makes them feel like they are having a great time. You could be the hottest guy on the planet but if the atmosphere is dead, for the customer there is an instinctive need to withhold money…it’s sort of like the “stock market mentality.” When others are not buying, you don’t want to buy, either.

But yes, you must separate “just a bad night” from long-term problems. If you never have a good night, then it could be time for a reality check.

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