Devon Hunter

This entry is rather belated, in terms of coming after the day we call Thanksgiving, but I didn’t want to feel pressured to write something just for the sake of writing it. I am ready now. I hope all of you had wonderful holidays, and that you were surrounded by love.

I have a great deal for which I am thankful; however, I want to focus on three points here. I am blessed to have a Mom and Gramma who understand me without question. I am happy to be genuinely at peace with the closure I have achieved after my two attempts at dating in the last calendar year. And I am so happy to have grown into a career that makes me feel free.

This year I didn’t feel like being bothered with a lot of company. I wasn’t in the mindset for all the voices and feet that Thanksgiving involves. And I definitely felt irritated at the prospect of running around all over the place to see various sets of people who never even offer to meet me in the middle to make the drive easier. So, I took off from the family scene this time around. Mom and Gramma didn’t question or pressure me. They understood I needed Mom/Gramma time, and there was nothing else said. We don’t really do guilt in my family (at least not when it comes to holiday stuff) . It’s quite refreshing.

Back in February I was upset over Allen. In July it was Steve. For the former I experienced a few months of real heartache and turmoil, and for the latter I was so overwhelmed with car problems and my transition out of the clubs that I didn’t have time to be upset. Both were unresolved until very recently. I have absorbed the lesson from Allen that I put into practice with Steve: I am now fully able to be friends with men with whom I have had failed romantic relationships. I wasn’t open to it before, but I am now. And it is so empowering. I honor and respect both of these men. Walking through the fire burns, but coming out on the other side you can definitely see how the flames do not necessarily sear the flesh. Those licks of heat can also burn away the chaff. It took a while, but my heart is lighter for having known them both.

I am a full-time companion now. I danced with the afore-mentioned Allen at an AIDS charity benefit last Wednesday, and we helped to raise $3,000; however, I did that for free. I haven’t danced in a club for money in months. And I don’t miss it at all. In the bars I had so much stress from worrying about sifting through the crowds, trying to find the people who appreciated me. Now, I know that the people I am meeting are at least interested in me on some level, and I am even finding some of my clients on the verge of becoming friends (a term I do not use lightly).

I hope that you, too, have plenty for which you can be thankful. I wish us all success and happiness. And I hope that you will invest in your own joy, if you don’t already. Make the care of yourself a top priority - only then can you truly give back to the world. Giving to yourself, so that you can give of yourself, is the best way I can think of to create a self-fulfilling prophecy of satisfaction and fellowship.