The online diary of a gay courtesan.

-1 + 1 = 0

It was brought to my attention that there are sites that do nothing but discuss the material that is generated at places like Sean Cody, Corbin Fisher, and Randy Blue. What’s more, it was brought to my attention that people can respond to those critiques/discussions. There are so many opinions out there… It’s pretty amazing how much they can differ from person to person or site to site. It’s also amazing the extent to which some people try to invade the privacy of others.

What I have read essentially brings me to balance: There are at least 15 sites I have found that have discussed and/or reviewed my solo at Sean Cody. This was not something I’d thought to consider before I did it. It never occurred to me that there were full-time movie critics and peanut galleries for Sean Cody; however, these not only exist, they proliferate in large numbers. And that is what is interesting: I am only one person, and yet some of the responses I elicited from people were as divergent as you could possibly imagine.

Some people were revolted at the thought of me being gay and 32 years old. Others liked me specifically because of it. There were as many comments that I was fugly as there were that I was gorgeous. All of the reviews themselves were glowing, but it was the conversations that followed that could be startling. And yet, after all that reading, what I have finally accepted is that I am who I am, and that’s going to just have to be good enough.

So, although some people have called me a pasty grub and others have called me a creamy boystud; and although some have called me a nelly gay-faced homo, while others refer to me as a hot gay jock; and whereas there are people who think me ancient and/or decrepit, there are others who applaud me for admitting my age (which makes me seem, to them, even more youthful); and since in the same conversation there are people who think I am nothing arguing along side of people who think I am everything… What all this essentially means is that all the negatives are cancelled out by positives, and I’m left right where I was before: Me.

And that’s not such a bad scenario. 🙂

13 comments

1 Timberoo { 07.12.09 at 10:41 am }

I think coming out an admitting you were gay on Sean Cody could be the root of the negative comments. The illusion of that site, in my opinion, is that they are all (allegedly) straight guys doing gay things – the forbidden fruit fantasy.

2 Devon { 07.12.09 at 10:52 am }

there were as many agist comments as there were homophobic. old and gay? there’s two things you wouldn’t wanna be, and i’m both! god help us all…

3 creature { 07.12.09 at 11:34 am }

I can only guess one of those sites is JUB, right? I’m surprised there were some homophobic comments, especially coming from gay/bi’s themselves.

Although maybe I shouldn’t be surprised. I remember a rant of yours on RJ where you discussed gay/bi guys so helplessly fawning over the straight guys, who, in reality, don’t give a flying &$%# about them, just their money. It’s a sad affair.

But I’m glad to hear that there is a possibility of a third video! Congratulations. I hope everything goes well for you. And I see that you’re going to be at Secrets. Maybe I’ll stop by and say hello. Though I have a feeling you be busy lol

4 Devon { 07.12.09 at 1:53 pm }

yes, JUB is one of them; however, JUB was consistently complementary towards me. i got 25 votes saying i was a 5-gold-star-gay HAHA also, i remember most, if not all, the comments at JUB being friendly. and queerclick was unanimous in its 13 flattering comments. it was some of the others that were mixed and/or negative.

5 Rick/thirdbeach { 07.12.09 at 9:23 pm }

Did any of those reviewers comment about how Fucking Fabulous you are?

6 devon { 07.12.09 at 9:51 pm }

yes, rick – i’m pleased to say that this was the gyst of some of the comments 😉

7 Curt { 07.13.09 at 2:31 am }

Being talked about confirms that you left a memorable impression…good, bad, or indifferent – they NOW know who you are!! I think you need your own line of “Goldstar Gay” tshirts.. Lol

8 Tom { 07.13.09 at 4:40 am }

You have it right. You are yourself. How many times have you read or heard about how many actors (legit,gay,straight,porn, ect.) do not read reviews. Be you and enjoy yourself.

Tom

9 Scott { 07.13.09 at 4:47 pm }

Exactly! Don’t listen to those who would bring you down to their level… you know you’re fine (and you are) and that’s all that matters. 😉

10 Art V { 07.18.09 at 9:17 pm }

I dunno, I’ve always considered your mind sexy, and your body an added bonus.

11 Devon { 07.19.09 at 10:33 pm }

hey art – funny you’d mention my mind… lol someone on the reviews said it was obvious that i was white trash. i don’t mean to presume that all lower middle class and poor caucasians are stupid, but the connection is generally made between income and intellect. i think it’s a nice irony that you’d comment on my mind. thank you. lol

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13 Terry { 08.10.14 at 3:44 pm }

Devon, I remember on Corbin Fisher when a model (not sure of his CF name but his current name is Chaz Riley) was called “too old” to be on the site; dude was only 25 years old. I’m 30 and I still don’t get the concept of “gay death at 30”. I have a friend who will never be blessed to see the age of 30 because she was murdered and half of the idiots who say it seem to forget that at some point in their life they *will* be 30.

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